REAL LETTER FROM A REAL ASSHOLE
Debrajean: Do you know that proclaiming that rape
jokes are funny to a board full of thinking, feeling,
caring humans is annoying, tasteless, and hurtful--
coincidentally it's un-PC, but that's really not the big
issue. The issue is basic human kindness and compassion.
Rape isn't funny. It's not funny when animals are raped,
and it's not funny when humans are raped. While it seems
very "on the cutting edge of things around here" to disregard
the feelings and thoughts of people around you, I find
it just incredibly mean-spirited and I don't think anyone
would get offended at something that wasn't, in fact,
extremely offensive. I am all for sick jokes, I tell them
all the time. I'm all for consensual BDSM, I do that all
the time also. But RAPE IS NOT FUNNY. EVER. I'm sorry,
you can think it's funny all you want, but tell a rape
joke around me, and I will tear you to pieces. I've had
enough friends who have been through this that I can never
ever find it funny, and I don't think it's somehow "brave"
and "challenging norms" and "stuff like that" to offend
people. If making a joke about it is one's way of dealing
with it, one can do that as much as one wants. Just not
in the presence of others. How do you know someone here
is not being raped right now and is having a hard time
dealing with it? Those kinds of jokes can be triggering
for a great many people to commit even more heinous crimes.
Joking about something like rape sends a message that
rape is socially acceptable and even laughable. Cynicism
is no excuse for cruelty.
Reed: You certainly have a lot to say. Did you see
that we have a slot open for a new female columnist in
between the photos of empowered women? Why not try for
that instead of writing me your self-important, poo-poo-stinking
I am a fair person, so I pondered your ideas as I walked
down rainy streets in nothing more then a thin, piss-yellow
sweater, pink-patterned circle skirt and a baby doll T-shirt
that proclaimed I was a "tease." As it clung damply to
my arms and breasts, I noticed a thick sound coming from
an alleyway to my left. Peering around the corner I watched
three men, jolly green giants painted pure shit-black,
overpowering a eighty-year-old-looking woman. I opened
a "Big Cherry Candy Bar" and settled down to watch the
show. After they shoved their spit-lubed fucksticks in
her baby cave in hard repetition, I noticed something
that turned my belly to ice.
this mean that you were right, that rape was not funny?
I had to know for sure.
waited until the men were done and then approached the
figure, stooping to the ground to get a better view. Tears
were running clean rivers in a dirty face. One eye seemed
to have exploded from the inside. Leaning until my nose
was almost touching hers, I whispered softly so as
not to startle her, "Was that funny?"
me"--her voice was gravel in a blender set on low--"I've
know." I wondered if she could smell the mid-morning snack
I had just taken on my breath and decided not to worry
about it, "but was it funny, being raped in the gutter
looked at me with horror. "Everyone knows that rape is
funny--very, very funny!"
that settles it. Rape isn't just funny--it's very,
very funny. Jokes such as:
What did Tori Amos do for her rapist? A. Send him royalties!
What did the victim say to her rapist? A. Does this mean
we're going steady?
the height of humor...and if you doubt that for a minute,
If an eighty-year-old-woman who's just been raped by three
men can find humor in it, so can you!