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xmag.com : January 2003: We Love Exotic

Subject: assholes yours and mine

Date: Sun, 08 Dec 2002 02:40:52

From: poisonivynu@hotmail.com

Well you've got me, you've made your point Officer Partridge, we in the industry are swine, we are pigs happy to wallow in the proverbial filth that is our lives; oh well, at least we can admit it. I have just one question for you: Does our perversity give you any reasonable excuse for yours? If you're disgusted by the john, do you have a picnic lunch there every afternoon? I guess you do. Ah yes, a slice of pizza, and a peeper full of pooper, oh what joy! We are objects and prostitutes because you choose to make our lives easier by paying to stare at our bungholes. Hey at least it's earning its keep! Oh sure, (the bunghole) does that whole waste product removal thing, by the way, maybe you should have yours checked, there seems it be an awful lot of shit left in your system, maybe you have a blockage or something.

So, while you're in the bar paying greasy dollars to stare into our assholes, where is your wife? I'm sure she's exactly where you would have the rest of the female species. Do you feel superior as she grovels in the corner begging your forgiveness for daring to be born with a pussy? We all know your dirty secret; you dream of forbidden assholes as you jerk your pathetic little stinky underdeveloped dick until you fully wake up and remember: Oh shit! Stop that! They're nasty whores! I hate them, really, I hate them! Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll manage to convince yourself. Oh what's that? You don't have a wife? No life either? Imagine that, I wonder why that is? Oh by the way how's your mother? What she's a dirty whore too? Excuse me sir, but your issues are showing.

I can't speak for every one but I know that after a long day of drugs and asshole exhibition I come home to my husband and kid and I have a life. I certainly don't lay awake at night wondering, "Gee, I wonder if that sweaty weird little man with the grimy one dollar bills thought I was a disgusting whore?" Truthfully it never once crossed my mind. I won't give it any more thought either. If Exotic feels this letter worthy of printing (it's obviously not that hard to meet their criteria), don't expect a reply to whatever witty scathing remarks you make next month. You're not hired! We would rather hear from all the opinionated bigot editors in the world than one measly pompous reject like you. You thought you could bait us into getting into an ongoing repartée with you? Perhaps convince the magazine that you're worth a monthly column so all the last hard-line woman-hating faggots could have their say somewhere in the world? Well maybe once. But I'm not playing twice. Anyway, thanks for the laugh asshole.


Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 22:02:11

From: rocksirocks@yahoo.com

Subject: Rebuttle: DEC 2002 #113

Attached is my rebuttle to Officer Partridge's article this month titled "Hard Justice." I think you will find this amusing, and I HOPE you decide to print it.

Men who frequent strip clubs are garbage. Not special. Not unique. Just more tricks. You boys have all kinds of ideas about things, but you're just another dumb sucker. Prove me wrong.

Asshole, I don't care if you drive a Mercedes, if you're a rock star, or if you are some rich tycoon in your spare time. Why would I? To me, you don't have a personality aside from your wallet. Now that's interesting! Obviously! Tell me why I would think otherwise. Why would an intelligent human being assume that a man who pays money to see a woman's genitals has anything important to say? I mean, come on! That's one step up from a trained monkey! What, do you have some magic "inner goodness" about you? Yeah right! You're nothing but another dollar sign in my eyes buddy! I've fucked customers, I've hung out with customers. Assholes. They use drugs as if the comet hits tomorrow. They get drunk and tell you all about their pathetic lives. They're artists, and "thrift store owners" and "worth something." Uh, excuse me, could you get your fucking life out of my way and give me some money? Oh yeah, and while you're looking up my asshole here's a stinky old fart right in your face. Thanks. Here, take a look at the place where my shit comes out of. Fuck you and you're worthless dollar you cheap ass bastard. And you have feelings? I can tell by the drool on your chin and your hand whacking the underside of the table. I've tried, believe me. I've tried to listen to you. But I just can't seem to get my head around the idea that you pay money to get your jollies. Can't you get laid because of your good looks and charm? What's wrong with you? Is your dick broken? Now you can't get enough of exhibitionism with the hard hats at work, you actually go to bars and pretend to be some wealthy charming gentleman in your spare time. Really. That's not interesting, that's stupid. That's like me thinking I'm Madonna just because I get paid to be on a stage. Cut it out. Smell my farts asshole. Oh yeah, and give me your money. You're a servant. Low-class. A slave to the sex industry. You spend your dollars on looking at assholes. You're an asshole connoisseur. You pay money to look at the place where women shit from. If you thought I was going to rub against the seat of your pants just once you'd give me all of the money in your wallet. Yep, you sure would. I don't care if you like to watch me take my clothes off for money. Do whatever you want, it won't be important. I'll never care. It just frustrates me that you assume I respect you, because I don't. Do you think that just because I show you my tits that I might suck your cock for say 69.95? No, better yet...I must want to fuck you for a hundred bucks because, who wouldn't want to fuck you right? You and your irresistible polyester wearing, balding, Old Spice stinking cock. That's disgusting. I would be ashamed to be seen in public with you, let alone have your fat ass touching my temple. I think it's clear that the majority of women in my industry feel the same way. They are not ashamed of their God given form, they realize that we are all naked beneath our clothes, and they have learned to make an honest dollar in a money-hungry society instead of going on welfare and foodstamps. Consequently, the woman who feels no shame, the woman who actually dances around naked is decidedly independent and free of working for "The Man." While you lowly, pathetic slime spend your week's paychecks looking at our assholes. We bend over, smile, scoop up half your week's earnings and think to ourselves, "What a fuckin' sucker!" Obviously! So boys, keep making that money, keep slaving away for that boss who lives high in his mansion while you fret about making next month's house payment...Oh yeah, and keep frequenting the businesses where us pathetic whores bend over, fart in your face, and then take all of your money. It only costs a dollar. Sucker.


Hey, wait a second...I'm a man that frequents strip clubs...Now I'M offended. --Publisher


Date: Sat, 14 Dec 2002 21:17:35 -0800

From: JSamms@msn.com>

To: xmag@qwest.net

Subject: Ricki's note to officer partridge

Mr. Trick (oops) I mean Officer Limp Dick, aka Partridge from the loser side of town, I'm not gonna waste my time with belittling you as that would be far too simple. I just feel as though people like you who are full of judgement and opinions are very hateful and don't like themselves. Opinions are like assholes and I'm sure you have a big swool(sic) ass, that's probably where your issues begin and end. You hate women only because you have issues about your own sexuality, men with tendencies that are in the closet hold this deep resentment towards women, especially beautiful women who have men bowing down to their every command! After reading your so-called article, I've made my own observations--they go like this: You fit the profile of a serial rapist who's been fucked by his mom or dad since very young. You need to see a psychiatrist and be hospitalized before women come up missing in Portland. Please seek HELP!!!!!!! Thank you.



Wasn't that one of the plots for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? --Publisher




To the hypocritical idiot who wrote that

letter last month:

I would like to start by telling you the entire stripper community has come to the obvious conclusion that you have been burnt terribly by a fellow stripper. We dedicate this to that Goddess. We love her.

Good job! Thanks for the laugh! You have no idea what you are talking about. I don't know how you think you can classify a whole group of people by their profession, but you can't. Yeah, what you said may apply to a lot of people; especially the idiot strippers who would ever talk to a jackass trick like you, or fuck you! (So you claim)--By the way, do you want a brownie button for fucking a stripper? Do you have any idea how many strippers there are in Portland? People fuck every day, what's your fascination with strippers?--Yeah, people will suck your dick for some E tabs, that's just human. Someone that works at Taco Bell or Target might suck your dick for them also. I bet a cocktail waitress or bartender might too--What's your point genius? You're either scandalous or you're not. I know it's not just because they are strippers. I have friends in and out of the industry, and quite frankly, my "square" friends have been involved in just as much scandalous shit. I personally, and many like me, have never done coke or E. I have been stripping for 4 years, own my own home and car, and paid off more that $20,000 of debt along the way. I choose to strip. I have had many corporate jobs, 8-5. This is a choice, not a last resort. You openly admit you sit right at the rack and look at our assholes. That right there sounds like a personal issue to me. You don't have a girl at home to look at her asshole, or in your case, maybe a man at home. You say you blow on clits! How exciting! Have you ever had a beer "accidentally" spilled on you? (That was for the blowing by the way.) There are two types of customers: The ones who we actually enjoy entertaining and appreciate coming in and having a good time. You can bet your bottom dollar (which will be my dollar by tomorrow) that on my nights off you may find me at another club looking at my friend's asshole because I like it! Women are gorgeous and we all like to look at them, you, me, all of us, get over it! And then there are customers like you, who have bitterness coming out of their pores; we can smell you from a mile away! We just throw on our fakest smile, piss in your ear, and enjoy taking advantage of your wallet! You want to talk shit about how we show you anything for a dollar--well at the end of the night we go home with about 5 or 6 hundred of your "DOLLARS" and fuck our hot girlfriends and/or fine-ass men! So who's the idiot? I'm not a prostitute by the way, or I'd be a fucking millionaire-- nice try. All I know is you go to work, wherever, no one cares where, and time and time again spend your paycheck on me. So you are my whore Biaaaaatch! Don't get it twisted! And no I don't have a problem showing my genitals. I have a bomb ass tight pussy and it looks good. I was born like this, God didn't invent clothes, some jackass (probably with a small dick like yours) did. You who have problems with the naked body are the twisted ones. Again, at the end of the day, you go home broke and lonely, that's why you're so mad! You don't have any more money to take out some square pencil-pushing bitch that might actually give you some pussy because you gave it to all of us whores. Luv ya.


I never got MY brownie buttons... --Publisher



Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 18:52:20

From: maxi@mytvdinner.com

To: xmag@uswest.net

Subject: fucking hilarious

Hello, I just finished reading "What's With All The Lesbians?" ( Exotic, Feb 2002 #103) and laughed really hard. I did a search for "boring lesbians" because I am a lesbian bored with most of the lefty lesbian victimology crap. Your article made my day. Rock on.

--jill maxi schreibman

riverdale | usa


See, some people still love us, and a lesbian at that! --Publisher



The WE * EXOTIC section will be running every month, featuring all the emails and letters we receive hating and loving Exotic both. Please let us know if you want your name printed or not. The proper addresses for submissions are:


EMAIL: xmag@qwest.net

MAIL: Exotic, 818 SW 3rd Ave. #1324, Portland, OR 97204


In case anyone missed any of the 17 thousand flyers we sent out last month, here's what they said...

An Open Apology To Everyone In The Adult Industry:
Please accept our apologies regarding the article in the last issue of Exotic (December 2002) on page 84.
In no way does the article reflect the views of anyone on the staff at Exotic magazine.
Although we have no good excuse for the act of publishing this contemptful writing, believe us when we say that the system we have for placing articles was severely compromised last month when this article was submitted at the last minute before going to press. Since it was so late, the usual, proper reviews of articles never happened and this piece was published with no review. If, in fact, it had been reviewed properly it would have immediately been rejected for content.
Although we at Exotic support somewhat controversial and contentious articles for the sake of satire and amusement, the article in question went way too far in it's context and had no business being printed in our magazine.
We are very sincere when we say that articles like this will not be allowed in the magazine in the future. And once again we relay our sincerest apologies to anyone offended. We value and respect dancers as the lifeblood of our industry.
Frank Faillace & the entire Exotic staff




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