I love cock.
I love it love it love it. Big, giant, superhuman....average,
small, wee...soft, hard, smooth, hairy, I love
them all. They are wonderfully magnificent little
beings, even if the person they're attached to
is all too often a total dick.
I am relatively
undiscriminating, though I prefer my cocks to
be hard. Stubbornly, frequently hard.
my favorites include the stranger's cock, wrapped
in blue jeans and hard as a rock, teasing me through
my short skirt sitting on his lap drinking a jack-n-coke
and talking about stupid rock'n'roll. Or the reliable
cock-in-the-mouth, getting bigger and harder and
slippier with every suck. Or, best of all, the
good-morning cock--ready to rock and knockin'
softly at my pajama'd ass.
a few courses in cockology and I know that there's
quite a variety out there. And that stereotypes
exist for a reason. The blackest cock I ever met
was also the biggest cock I ever met and I thank
Jesus to this day that that guy had a foot fetish.
The smallest cocks I've encountered have been
brown--Middle Eastern, Mexican, Southeast Asian--and
attached to the BEST lovers. The white cocks have
all been "above average" according to their owners,
whose skills were ultimately below average. I
don't really care. If it's hard, I'm happy.
to my attention recently that many guys read much
more into this cock size thing than meets your
pussy. Like did you know guys who date exclusively
Asian chicks have small cocks, the better to fit
in their supposedly smaller boxes? Or that the
only guys who cry on account of a woman after
age ten have teeny weenies? Or that Napoleon's/
Hitler's/ your-band-name-here's world domination
fantasies were the result of less-than-average
guns? Or what about this current conflict? Your
President George W. Bush vs. the evil whatchamacallits.
Surely this economic stink bomb is resultant from
the age-old coupling of penises and politics.
Heck, if you take the eni out of penis
and substitute it for the olitic in politics
you have the SAME WORD. Weird!
W. have a big cock? Laura always looks pretty
well laid. But whose fault is that? You can get
off in a number of different ways in the White
Saddam's cock sock, and why do we never see his/
her/ their picture? Here's a guy whose penis envy
is so outta control that he builds million-dollar
mosques to himself, festooned with phallic minarets
that are actually in the shape of kalashnikovs
and other military hardware--in a country where
food is an unaffordable luxury. Jesus! Take a
Viagra! Get a penis pump. Or just use your hands
Egyptian lover was the BEST. I still get crosseyed
thinking of how he would pull me into him, placing
his little hand on the small of my back. He could
repeat this move anywhere--in a theater, on Second
Avenue, at a funeral--and I'd wet my pants. He
was also adept at that works-every-time trick
of kissing a girl with your hand wrapped around
her neck. This works every time! Why don't more
of you dickheads use it?
is to make us feel that you're in control, that
you know what you're doing and that we are literally
and figuratively FUCKED. Cuz the truth is that
while you boys are following your unpredictable
and impetuous cocks around, suckers to the vagaries
of virility, we chicks are holding things together.
It's exhausting and we need a break. If you can
for half a second make us believe that you're
gonna hunt and gather and kill and maim for us,
we melt like butter. To this end your big cock
will only take you so far. Use your tongue, hands,
brain, mouth. Then use your hands some more.
me wrong--I love cock! But it's those creative
cocks--the ones who start with an appetizer of
chocolate-dipped toes, know exactly how to pull
your hair and do really fucking great handiwork--that
you always hear about in the dressing rooms.