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xmag.com : March 2003: What's Your Fucking Problem?

It's common knowledge that the human tongue has taste buds for sweet, salty, sour and bitter tastes. Recently, the medical association has discovered some new little buds in the back. These newly found taste buds are for tasting fat, and they're located just at the crest of our throats. This knowledge might be new to those stodgy scientists, but it's old news to this little tramp. I've been aware that the back of my throat is craving fat for many years. Fat cock that is.

My throat slicks up and I get all dribbly at the mouth over a smooth woody knob of dick. But I'm not here to tell you about my love of cock and all its yummy gifts. No, I'm here to talk about size. Size matters. But before you get upset about your wrinkly lil' guy downstairs, hear me out.

There once was a boy, we'll call him Big Dummy, who I was curious about. Curious like a cat-in-heat, howling and rubbing its butt on the floor and trying to fuck your shoes. We were finally alone in my room, lights out, candles lit and all preliminary yammering done with. It was time to open my present. He was hesitant at first--turned out he really liked me and wanted to wait and blah blah blah. I told him we could go as slowly as he wanted as I slid my face down his big ol' chest, tracing every curve of ab-muscle with my tongue to just south of his navel. I heard him moan, but he could've also said "no". I was under the blankets and all sound was muffled. Pulling the blankets down to my shoulders I looked up at his face and slid further down. Just then his warm hand thunked against my cheek in protest, but looking up at him I saw that both his hands were behind his head. Hmmm.

I had to back up to see the whole thing. In the dark it looked like a plum on top of a ten inch soda can. Suddenly my butt hurt for no reason and my big mouth went dry. I put my hand on it and squeezed. It pushed back like a thick bicep. Big Dummy was silent and I thought that the amount of blood it took to fill this thing prob'ly knocked him into a coma. It was me and Cockzilla in the ring, the imaginary bell rang and the fight began. I did everything I could to get the head into my throat but my jaw was locked open too wide, so I had to do the juvenile stand-by of spit-slick hand-job while suckling the head as best I could.

Big Dummy was hitching his breath and moaning. "Mmmm, yeah. C'mere..." he moaned and stroked my head. I guess he was done waiting. As he pulled me up to him I felt like saying we should first wrap my hips in duct tape so I wouldn't bust open when he tried to plow me with his fucking thermos. I was shaky, but my pride urged me on. He kissed me and flipped me over onto my back and kicked my legs open. I took a deep breath and let it out as the carnage began.

Let's just say that Big Dummy and I had sex twice before I ended up in the hospital. Before we broke up all I could do with his cock was pose for pictures

with it like a prize bass.

Gentlemen, you don't need a huge dick to rule the roost. In fact, it can work against you. Most girls love cock, but also everything that comes with it ....the grinding, licking, suckling, spitting, swearing and a good sound smack across the ass....oh yes. So if you're hung like a duck, learn how to fuck. If you still feel you can't fill the bill, go buy a dildo or vibrator in any shape, size or color for backup.

As for me, if you shove it into my soft palate, rock my uvula and give those fatty buds a treat, you're in there. In my humble opinion, more than a mouthfull's wasted. Mmmmmmm.






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