I can’t believe that the summer is almost over, but since it is, I’ll be sending a couple of catz back to school in this article! Plus I’ll be givin’ y’all the scoop on the “Ms. Latina Contest” that I’m hosting this month! Ooooh Weee!!! On top of that my Honey of the Month is a Porn Star!!! Let’s get it started…
First Up — Like Father, Like Son
The Back to School Special
This is the story of two married men who happen to be the biggest two “odd balls” in Portland’s adult industry history. They are better known as Mr. Sexual Harassment Sr. and Mr. Sexual Harassment Jr. I had a business agreement with dumb and dumber that they went bad on. I gave the perverts a chance to fix it but the punk little youngster had an ego bigger than his daddy’s appetite for minors. While working at the club with these fucks, I witnessed shit that they probably wish I wasn’t writing about right now. I would have let it go, but Jr. wouldn’t meet me even halfway. That’s why I’m telling it like it was, and how it probably still is. Dirty Old Man & Son thrive off of chicks that are in desperate situations. You want a job baby? So do they if they hire you, and you know what type of “job” I’m talkin’ about. How can you horny ass hypocrites honestly tell customers that they can’t touch the ladies inappropriately when that’s all you two motherfucka’s do??? Then if they don’t want to suck on your little married dicks, or let you grope on them, you fire them and pursue other potential victims! Shame on you!!! Both of you so-called business men are dirtier than your cum stained carpets, and the cockroaches in the fuckin’ basement of the place you call a club! To any chick that’s currently going through any type of bullshit like this, here’s the Sexual Harassment Hotline Number available 24 hours a day, (503) 235-5333. You can also email your story to me at whatzcrackin_J@hotmail.com and I will put ‘em on blast again!!!
Next Up — The Ms. Latina Contest
That’s right Portland! On Thursday, September 15th, 2005, I will be hosting the Ms. Latina Contest at Gata Salvaje located at 633 SE Powell Blvd. This is a citywide invitation to all Latin women. We will be giving away over $500 in cash and prizes to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place contestants. There will be several celebrity judges at this event as well as some live entertainment. The crowd will decide who is crowned Ms. Latina. The winner will be featured in my column next month. If you have yet to check out the city’s newest gentlemen’s club, Gata Salvaje, make sure you’re at this event. It will definitely be on and “Crackin’!!!” For contest information please call (503) 234-0806.
Honey of the Month — Melodee Bliss
This fly ass chick is not only this month’s Honey, but she is currently one of the only black female adult film producers in the business. Melodee has also been featured in several movies herself. She can also be seen in my partna Young Lyfe’s music video “Bounce Wit Me” now playing on BET Uncut. Keep it Crackin’ girl!!!
Whatz Crackin’ Sponsors
* Hot Wireless! Featuring the newest gadgets in cell phone technology. To get the hook up on phones, earpieces, air cards for laptops, and discounted rates call Hot Wireless at (503) 459-6860.
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Until Next Month, y’all keep it “Crackin’!!”