When I or a friend deal with our fear of rejection, one of the worst (and yet inevitable) comments someone can make is the innocent sounding, Hey, whats the worst that can happen? Dont give a neurotic an open field with that much running room. The first things that come to mind are such triflings as emasculation, private emasculation and being driven to illegal acts which eventually lead to public emasculation.
A little rejection never killed anybody. How true and yet how hollow. Whenever someone is trying and failing, a friend brings up the sometimes-apt anecdote about Babe Ruth. On his way to one batting record after another, guess who set a record for strikeouts? The Bambino, of course. The point your friend is trying to make is that, to hit a homer, youve gotta swing at some wild pitches now and then. The analogy falls apart when we look at the fact that Babe was notorious for paying for sex: most of us would rather be known for having women want to have sex with us.
A more instructive tale is that of Louis Brilliantine Brigante, another ballplayer (albeit little-known today) of the Depression-era. Louis never struck out at the plate, mainly because he never took a single swing at a pitch in his entire, brief pro career. Louis, however, never got rejected by women. He could ask any female for sex at any time and always get it. Brigante didnt die of rejection, he died from lack of it; a slow, agonizing death at age 45 from complications due to syphilis.
I think my point is obvious. There is a reason for rejection. Rejection is Gods way of saying, Why dont you take another look at your options here? And yet, we still get tied into knots at the thought of asking a woman we really want out.
One answer is to ask out only women you really dont care to spend time with. There is no risk involved here, except the risk that youll probably get a yes 90% of the time, and date only women who find you attractive. And who needs that, right?
Another approach is to make a game of rejection. Most guys can relate to contests. Bet your buddies that you can get turned down by 12 women in one week. Chances are very good that youll be too busy with Rejection Attempt #7 or #9 to even get around to making 12 approaches, and certainly way too happy to mind parting with the $20 that was on the line. As cheap as I am, I found myself once, years ago, trying this method and swearing to myself, Damn, Im scoring like Michael Jordan against the Blazers bench. If I dont change something soon, Ill be out some serious bucks. (Dont laugh, this was 10 years ago and $20 was serious money then.)
Another plus of this method is that, by continuing to set your standards too high you find yourself getting better women than when you were going for that sure thing. This can alter your self-esteem for good. The safety net here also is that, if your plan is succeeding, you can reassure yourself with the thought that, Hey, Im getting rejected by better-looking women all the time!
So, instead of emasculation, you now have the option of rejection from women your friends dont even have the balls to approach, or possibly having more fun than youre used to. No need to thank me, I dont have the time anyway; Im almost late for a date.