You can’t bill your insurance company for services rendered by Dr. Ducky DooLittle.

She doesn’t have a degree from an Ivy League university. Her lab isn’t accredited with anyone anywhere and, regrettably, the U.S. Surgeon General hasn’t asked the Duck for her briefs on masturbation, although the good doctor does sell her briefs for $50 a pair (white cotton, complete with silkscreened decoration).

But the 26-year-old, self-educated sexual academic with the amazingly Robert Crumb-alicious bod probably contributes more to genuine sexual health awareness for the young than any college professor or golf-playing shop doc. Her Night & Day Productions publishes oft-unknown facts (did you know that the “Hetaerea,” an elite class of Greek prostitute, provided artistic and intellectual, as well as physical, stimulation for their clients and they paid taxes?) via palm-sized pamphlets and booklets filled with clip-art, good humor and naughty knowledge. Her Scientifically Sanctioned Strip Flip Book includes gonzo factoids while also giving us a low-tech, interactive look at two of the doctor’s working assets: her lovely boobs, both in and out of bra. This lady is the queen of self-promotion!

Being two brave new world, cyber kinda girls, the Doctor and the Darklady exchanged a flurry of hurried e-mail secrets designed to whet your appetite for her upcoming west coast shows, including two Portland appearances this month, held in conjunction with Miss Mona’s Cabaret and the Portland Cacophony Society. Puddle City will receive a second visit from the Duck at the end of August.

Ducky, a bright bit of color in the already colorful New York City social world, began her internship in the late `80s as a topless go-go, peepshow girl and motorcycle magazine model. After producing her underground tattoo `zine, Itchin’ for Ink, for a year, she began her erotic publishing empire in 1994 with a collaborative work, Peek! For People With a Passion for Panties! Produced in conjunction with Porn Free editrix, Abby Ehmann, Peek! was a panty-lover’s wet dream, filled with black and white photos from Ducky’s Planet Panty Party (a heart-warming charitable gathering), Martin Fishman panty pix, articles on this history of panties, a full-color centerfold, and an amusing "History of Panty Perversion" by Dr. Ducky herself. My appreciation for the appeal of dainty underthings increased when she informed me that many men love them because, “Panties feel good wrapped around their cock!” It’s high time to have an educator like this on the sex scene and I agree with her wholeheartedly when she explains her success thusly: “I think many of them (men) find it refreshing to be able to find a woman that does not judge them to be a pervert.”

The three-year-old Night & Day Productions has released a number of high-quality, chapbook-sized, sexy, quick reads including the TABOO-ette series, which includes Trampy Rubberneckin’ Sex, Monkey and Story of Naughty One, as well as the writings of like-minded “erotic artistes.” The nationally acclaimed local `zine, Craphound, for instance, can be found in her Hypnotic Releases catalog, along with Dishwasher, Porn Free, and photographer Katrina Del Mar’s Plush Toy Picture Books. Somehow she’s managed to find time to have her smut publications exhibited in Chicago’s Museum of Contemporary Art, as well as New York City’s New Museum of Contemporary Art.

She’s come a long way from her childhood home of Minneapolis, Minnesota. The girl who spends her hard (if you know what I mean) earned porn money on high heels, cosmetics, rent, and publishing projects will be venturing to the west coast for her first time as an adult. It’s been a couple decades since she and her mother hitchhiked to San Diego but now Ducky is taking her show on the road.

It's a big step to go from the solitary activity of writing porn to travelling the country and speaking in front of a crowd. “I’ve been performing for one year and this spring tour is my first ever,” she explained via recycled Internet electrons. “In August I will tour nationwide with the Bindlestiff Family Curkus, doing my Sexology Show and my Knockers The Klown Show.”

Clowns are what she’s into these days... and, conversely, what’s into her. Somehow, in between writing, educating, and performing, Ducky manages to squeeze in a little lovin’... clown style. The miracle of the American postal system introduced her to her current beau, a Los Angeles resident and a kinky clown. The couple has been known to “kidnap a nice white cake and have our way with it.” All you wet and messy sex fans, take note: white cakes with white frosting are Ducky’s confectionary mattress of preference and she likes to “snuff the candles out with (her) bum." I’ll never look at a birthday cake the same again.

But even Ducky's clowning around is work and anyone who wants to be part of her life (and her heart) needs to be aware that the girl is devoted to her art and her fans are devoted to her; recognizing her on the street, wearing Dr. Ducky DooLittle T-shirts and marking their special events on Dr. Ducky DooLittle calendars. Jealousy can't be a part of the doctor's love medicine. "My mate has got to be a strong person. A trusting person. I get a lot of fan mail. I have people recognize me on the street. I am an exhibitionist. If they don't mind the fact that I work an insane number of hours in a day, we do fine. I am a complete workaholic. I try to balance all of this by being as honest as I can possibly be and smothering my mate with as much affection and sex as I can."

Ducky will bring her experience performing in New York City fetish clubs, coffee houses, bookstores, sex toy stores, and comic book stores on the road, and she's counting on west coast audiences to respond as positively to her unique performance style as east coast audiences have. "With this road show I am doing mostly my sexology show. I also do a show where I recount experiences in the sex industry and what services are available for men. That show is interactive because I encourage people to ask me questions. People like it because I am very blunt and honest in my answers." Hopefully, that honesty will help dispel many of the negative stereotypes which have been gaining local headline space recently.

The deceptively innocent looking doctor claims the title of feminist and avoids contact with sex-negative thinkers, whether of the Right or the Left Wing persuasion. She has neither patience nor interest in those who insist that women who work in the sex industry are victims.

"I was told repeatedly that I would live to regret working in the sex industry. People tried to shame me. Ha! I like myself and make good decisions. I have fun and take risks and live hard! Working in the sex industry taught me to think for myself. Take pride in myself. For the first time in my life I had enough money to go see a doctor when I needed to. To buy a winter coat when I was cold. There were some mighty tough times, but I have had just as many bad experiences working any other kind of job. I have molded my work in the sex industry to fit my needs." Well, so much for being a powerless victim, eh?

Dr. Ducky DooLittle will present her Sexuality Seminar and Slide Show at the Clinton Street Theater (2522 SE Clinton Street) on Saturday, April 5th. Show begins at 8:00pm. Tickets are $8 and information is available from the Reverend C. Edward Linville at (503) 232-3504. The following evening she will appear as part of Miss Mona's Carnal Carnival at Berbatis Pan, performing as Knockers the Klown.

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