Carnal Knowledge 4.10

The cover this issue is a pretty young lady named Angelique, who can be seen at Doc’s bar and grill. The photographer was Chong Il Woo, who is known worldwide for his fashion and nude photography exhibitions. Speaking of covers, last month’s featured Tazz and Crystle on the back of a scooter, with Tazz’s semi-nude derriere (I say semi-nude because, if you look really close, she was actually wearing thong-back underwear, I know `cause I was there) poking out of her dress. Never have we received as many complaints about our cover (from prudish people without a clue) railing about the effect of the cover on children. One lady called to complain that the cover in the newsracks downtown had butt cheeks exactly the height of her little boy’s eyes (okay, we’ll elevate the newsracks for you lady). Theresa, who answered the phone call, replied if her little boy doesn’t know what a butt is, then he’s gonna have a lot more problems in a couple years than she could ever imagine. Another complaint from a hysterical old codger on the corner of Park and Alder, who accosted Karla and I on our way to pick up the mail. Not knowing who we were, he asked us what we thought of the girl’s butt on the cover in another of our newsracks. Karla replied, “I think it’s beautiful.” And we walked on. He proceeded to stand on the corner ranting to passers-by for the next half-hour. Yikes! People, it’s only some butt cheeks. You see twice as much on the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition that’s in your face wherever you turn these days. I’d hate to see their mail this time of year... More newsracks... in California our free speech rights took another beating as San Francisco’s Spectator was declined in their petition to go to the U.S. Supreme Court in their battle against California’s AB17. The “newsrack law” as it’s known, says that material with harmful content to minors shall be prohibited from being sold in unsupervised sidewalk newsracks.... Just what Jill Portugal wanted in an recent issue of Portland’s Willamette Week, when she was whining about the porn-in-Portland problem. This uptight, right-wing femi-nazi complained that she was constantly harassed by men on the street saying she had nice legs, and (quite appropriately of course) responded by telling them to “fuck off” and spitting at them. She says she called the city of Portland District Attorney’s office to ask what could be done about the plethora of pornographic newsracks downtown, and was told that they were legal because of “all these little loopholes.” Little loopholes... yeah, you know, things like THE CONSTITUTION and the FIRST AMENDMENT you moron... Damn! I gotta go now I think I hear the cops at the door...

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