Completely, utterly dead. I found four messages upon initial entry - here are the headers:

GOTHIC FRIENDS (Spam), UK (London): Generous Male Toilet Seeks Female, a reply offering to bang the Toilet writer’s wife while he’s off indulging his colon-based fantasies, Gothic friends/gothic chat (Spam), Southampton (from an AOL luser named JeepBiStud asking to get banged in Southampton between April 28-May 8), 25 Y/O Inexperienced Bi-Yorkshire, a young man ( who informs us that "I know I’m not gay, but I’ve just got to get it together with another guy’."

Enjoy your repressed life, Bi in Yorkshire.

This is extremely anachronistic in the brave old world of Usenet, but this group is pretty much what it says it is. It’s not a dating service or any such thing -- it’s a group that exists to discuss and, hopefully, alleviate some of the stress caused by recognizing and come to terms with one’s nontraditional sexuality at an early age. Some topics discussed are:

Birthed or Raised as a Gay?, Weird Religious E-Mail, I Need Friends, Help I Am Suicidal, Straight Friend Problem, Report On Anti-Gay Violence, and Coming Out.


Massage services; discreet photo development; resorts; expected `dress codes’ (or lack thereof) at these resorts; many, many rants of frustration about some of society’s odder attitudes about the body; raising children in a clothing-optional environment; suggestions for what to do with keys (get a neck chain, stupid); websites for clothing-optional information; what the significance of shaving the body really is; and getting sand in delicate places are all subjects of constant and loving discussion here. Never have I seen a more well thought-out and well said series of posts. Nudity must make the brain grow larger.

I laughed long and slow when I saw this one. This is "Confidential Christian Introductions," not just some other slutty digital singles’ service, as they are quick to assure you. This page is remarkable for its incredibly shoddy quality -- any given function (like "People," for example), is almost invariably guaranteed to be under construction or otherwise useless. But the page is interesting for other reasons. Here are some quotes and you can see what you think.

“We will advise you on whether a person is nominal, committed, or a missionary-minded Christian, their talents; their characteristics; their goals; their political stand; their expectations of a relationship and much more. Members have often contacted us after they schedule a date to learn about the other member’s idea of a romantic date, their favorite food, music and color.”

“Singles often search for someone special with similar interests. Dr. Greg Cynaumon, Minirth-Meier therapist, has taught us that interests change and the most important ingredients of a healthy relationship are similar values, morals and goals. Dr. Cynaumon has revised our seven-page application to help you find someone with these important qualities.”

There you have it: variety is evil. Always follow the herd or you’re doomed in all things, especially marriage. The site has one particular quote plastered in a half-dozen places -- particularly on several portrait-sized graphics: "TWO CAN ONLY WALK TOGETHER WHEN THEY ARE AGREED."

Wow, man... deep.

If you'd like to submit your site for review in Exotic Magazine, please send your request via email: and make the subject "site submission."

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