Anal Maniacs #5
Wicked Video
Starring: Jacklyn Lick, Kaitlyn Ashley, Jay Ashley, Sid Deuce...
Rex Rating: 1/2 Tongue

These are the (kinda) videos that try men's souls. Shot on a budget with Porn-by-Numbers direction, AM5 goes on to disappoint the viewer by offering only four, instead of the revered standard five sex scenes.

This vid revolves around a car lot (Maniac Motors) where a couple of dog boys with "Saturday Night Live" German accents take sex for trade-in on cars. Shot with painfully overlit close-ups that look like med school movies of bloodless surgical procedures, the viewer is given a premonition in the opening scene when the master maniac stifles a yawn while receiving fellatio. Oh, brother. And it only gets worse.

Portland's own Jacklyn Lick -- aka Paisley Lick of the Lick Sisters -- takes the climactic scene four on a desk in the maniac's office. The garish light appears to make her squint at times. When the fat man walks into the office, the vid is thankfully over.

I recommend that you look at the box cover picture of Jacklyn Lick, then promptly set this twaddle back on the shelf. Unfortunately, this spend-as-little-as-possible, using-as-little-imagination-as-possible kind of porn has become the norm. If this was the only adult video that an anti-porn feminist or fundamentalist Christian or federal judge ever watched, they'd be right. Ban it all to hell.

Paris Chic
Studio A Entertainment
Starring: Lea Martini, Coralie, Anita Blond...
Rex Rating: 4 Tongues

And now for something completely different. PC, shot on 33mm film, is a throw-back to the good ol' '70s porn days when directors, actors, and designers collaborated to create a vision. In this tradition, Andrew Blake's PC inseminates the viewer with his dreamy vision of how rich, bored and beautiful people must go about achieving their release: one highly stylized orgasm at a time.

In the opening scene (18th century France) we see our principal, the model-gorgeous Lea Martini in a platinum wig piled higher than the Eiffel Tower, bringing a blindfolded man off. The silky gloves she sacrifices to his ejaculation probably cost more than the entire AM 5 production.

Ms. Martini plays a model, recently arrived in Paris, who falls for a femme fatale erotic filmmaker, Coralie -- the perfect brunette compliment to the blonde Martini. The film mines slow, sensuous scenes of artful glamour and the transference of power, dressed in high fashion S&M regalia. I don't think anyone's ever looked better than Ms. Martini with a bullwhip handle stuck in her carefully coifed pussy.

Rent this movie. Light the candles and watch it with your kinky lover. My only complaints: it's about 10 minutes too long and the New Age, World Beat music is a skewed fit for the high femme scenery.

I found both of these videos at Taboo Video

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