May was a tough month for the Darklady and so I'm glad to see it over. Fortunately, June is busting out all over, with plenty of opportunities to see beautiful busts all over. (Man, that was a lame pun.)

I'm pretty much thrilled to my pink parts to let you all know that Fantasy Adult Video, which has four of the busiest adult superstores in the Portland area, is now an exclusive Exotic Magazine distribution site. That's right, you won't find our "friendly competition" there anymore... which means no more refolding frustration for you, just pure reading satisfaction.You'll find more copies of Exotic at Fantasy Adult Video than anywhere else 'cuz both of us are just so darn popular.

I haven't had a chance to check the remodel over at JD's Bar & Grill, but I hear it's pretty cool. They've got a live DJ Fridays and Saturdays and claim to have the "Friendliest and sexiest dancers in town." Sounds like a chance to do some research, gentlemen.

Speaking of research, those of us who enjoy a nice beer garden (the bloom early and stay fresh all summer long) have a few choices this year. The Riverside Corral's is open now... and there are shower shows available, as well. Rooster's has both a rooftop patio and a parking lot beer garden (with a BBQ) this year. I'm told that Rooster's has some new buns on the horizon, as well. Interesting. Doc's (helluva contest last month, guys!) has its patio open daily now, weather permitting and we're told to keep our eyes peeled (ouch!) for a $1,000 dance contest.

If outside isn't your thing, there's plenty of heat and excitement inside... on the stage. You can cool down (and heat up) at Club Cabos while having a soothing table dance in their Starlight Room. Or head over to see the improvements at Jody's. If you're looking for an excuse, there's always amateur night on the first and third Tuesday of every month.

Every night is special in the clubs, of course, but sometimes there's something really extra special happening. CJ's, really capturing the whimsy of spring, is bringing back the Hollywood Knockouts on June 11th at 9pm. Yes, that's right, foxy boxing, hot cream and hot oil wrestling! I really recommend that you get your tickets ahead of time, fellas... and arrive early if you want the good seats. You know, the ones where you have to wear a plastic sheet.

And, possibly even more special than that, it's Rose's birthday and dancer's ball on June 22nd. I love birthdays!

Speaking of births, Exotica is still giving birth to itself. Construction Vision, the creative mind behind the space theme club, is still hard at work designing the inside. We're promised that there will be no other club like this one. Their motto is, "If we build it, they will come." Due date is now sometime in late summer/early fall.

The Acropolis has a helluva lineup this month: all three Miss Nude Oregon title winners, the current Entertainer of the Year, and Best Breast in the West. Wow! Drop by on June 6th and 20th to see these special stars, plus the usual bevy of beauties.

Union Jacks is trying something new, too... on June 7th the band Jesus Presley will be performing... with the usual assortment of saucy ladies dancing, of course. A mere $2 cover charge will get you in to see (and hear) the fun from 7pm until 2am. You'll want to take advantage of their nightly table dance specials, as well, of course.

Main Event is bringing two special feature acts to Salem this month. On June 10th and 11th you'll have the chance to see Tyler Day, Miss Nude North America and from the 24th through the 26th adult film star and centerfold, Busty Brittany (the first person in the adult industry I ever interviewed), will be shaking her amazing mammaries. If you manage to miss these two beauties, don't worry, it's not that long a drive from Salem to Eugene's Silver Dollar Club, where Ms. Day will perform four times daily from June 12th through the 14th. Eugene gets to see Ms. Brittany first, though, with four shows daily from the 24th through the 26th.

The last word in feature performers this month is lovely adult video star Chasey Lane. She won't be at Stars in June, but she will be in July. Plan accordingly. And you'll really kick yourself if you don't take your last chance to enter the Stars contest to win that Harley Davidson. The hog will be awarded during July. Now there's something to celebrate!

For those of you who enjoy your female encounters in a more private setting, the local lingerie palaces have some special treats for you. X-otic Tan is celebrating its fifth anniversary by giving you $10 off any session if you bring in their ad. Remember... bring in the ad. Sugars is also in the metric mood with a buy-one-get-the-second-for-$10-off special. Now that is sweet.

Forbidden Fantasies has new hours, so get out your pencils! You can indulge from 9am - 3am... and enjoy the comfort of their air conditioned rooms. Fantasy Tan has also made a change in the hours... they're open all the time! Yes, 24 hours of lovely ladies available for your tanning needs. (And, now that the weather is warm again, you'll want to take part in a little of their auto erotica... meaning, their Bikini Car Wash every weekend from noon to 7pm.) They send a special Rose Festival "welcome" to all the sailors and, like the lovelies at Private Pleasures, encourage all the seamen to come on by. Sailors will want to call Private Pleasures and ask about their Rose Festival Navy special. And, getting in on the spring thing, they've got new hours, too: 10am - 1am Monday through Saturday and noon to midnight Sunday.

Leather and Lace wants you all to remember that they know how to honor the sabbath day... with a $29 special! Exquisite Fantasies shares the same philosophy of economy with their own Sunday $29 special plus their June special: any two girls for $65. Time to smash those piggy banks, gents... and enjoy air conditioned comfort as part of your reward.

And, last but not least, drop on by Velvet Dreams and meet their new girls and new management. Welcome to the neighborhood.

I want to welcome someone else back, too. Plaza 9000 is back in the warm, comforting pages of Exotic and they've got some new hours, too. Monday through Saturday 10am - 9pm and Sunday noon to midnight you can drop by, rent your favorite skin flick and tell Larry, Eric and/or Charlie how much you love them. In other video store news, Taboo Video is having a buy one get one free video deal that you collectors won't want to miss.

Seems like everyone's taking something off this month and Sweet Sensations is no exception. All dancerwear is a whopping 30% off, so hop over there ladies and load up while the prices are lower than usual.

And now for something completely different:

Need another hole in your head? Of course you do and Black Hole Body Piercing is exactly the place to get it done. June's special is 10% off any piercing. Yes, that means one down there, too.

Blackout Leather Productions of Oregon will present Expose Your Pride, a special Gay Pride Week Underwear Party on Saturday, June 28th from 8pm - 2am. Five American dollars will get you in the doors of the Eagle (1300 West Burnside). There will be a clothing check provided and hard liquor available. Relax and enjoy some high energy music and dancers and revel in the fact that the proceeds will go to produce the Mr. and Ms. Oregon State Leather Contest in August, in conjunction with Portland's Leather Pride Week. Want more details? Send e-mail to or trust the U.S. Postal Service by writing to Blackout Leather Productions at 2624 SE Harrison, Portland, Oregon, 97214. Tell 'em Darklady sent ya.

I'd like to extend a special welcome to the new Evolution all- ages gay nightclub which recently opened. I've been inside and it's really nice, folks. During the day you can drop by and enjoy a delicious meal at Nambo's Noodle & Burger Emporium, the club's alter ego. Good food... hell, great food, great prices and a great cause: helping support Portland's only all-ages gay club (especially given the battle that Lanny, the owner, has had to fight with the city). The club is located at 333 SW Park Avenue and you can learn more about the month's offerings by calling (503) 242-2899 or going to its web site at You can shake your groove thing to industrial music on Thursday from 10pm - 2am, and dance music on Friday and Saturday, 10pm - 4am.

Make arrangements to be free on July 14th when Carol Queen presents her new performance (Real Live Not Quite) Nude Girl: An Evening with Carol Queen at Portland's It's My Pleasure (4258 SE Hawthorne). Queen is promoting her new book, Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex Positive Culture (ISBN 1-57344-073-6), which I've been told is a dynamite book. Hungry Head Books in Eugene (1212 Willamette Street) will host an appearance by Ms. Queen on July 20th. If all goes well, I'll have a review of the book in an upcoming issue.

Don't forget to hang out with me and all the other freaks on June 21st at the Mercury Room during another fabulous Fetish Night. This time the fashion police will be walking the beat, so it might be time to invest in that PVC, latex, leather or other kinky material you've been putting off.

June is Gay Pride Month and whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, try-sexual, pansexual, transsexual, transgendered or something I've forgotten, come downtown on June 21st for the Gay Pride Parade. The lovely Snickers LaBarr has graciously agreed to let me ride along in her vehicle for the parade, so come wave and support sexual diversity!

And finally, don't forget to come see me get as naked as I wanna be at Miss Mona's Raunchy Retrospective Cabaret at Berbati's Pan on June 29th. Be gentle with me, this is my virgin voyage with the girls of Terpsichore and I'm honored (and nervous as a cat in a rocking chair factory) to be a part of it.

Well, that's enough out of me. See you next month in the magazine if I don't see you in the flesh.

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