My beloved Doc Wainwright has gone north in search of adventure and enlightenment and so I, Exotic's resident cyber-vixen, am taking command of this independence month column. Another chance to rant. (big grin) Ever wonder what words and (most importantly) web sites the makers of net censorship software have deemed off limits to the young and easily offended? Most of them will come as no surprise, but there are a couple of shockers. Here, for your prurient or purely academic pleasure, is a partial list from the popular CyberSitter software. It reads a lot like a George Carlin skit. Enjoy... but remember, this software doesn't just keep smut and perversion away from kids, it also locks out legitimate information about taboo subjects, and If the religious right has its way, it won't just be software that keeps us from seeing, hearing and thinking...

First the words. In some cases these words are forbidden in and of themselves, while others get an extra added bonus of being extra forbidden when in conjunction with innocent words like "my, your, you, his her, the," or the addition of a single letter like "y," "ual," or "uality." Can you imagine the unspeakable perversions the guy who has to compile this list must engage in? fuck, asshole, bullshit, toiletcam, fucking, fucked, coitus, ass, cunt, twat, pussy, hole , wild, wet, net, cyber, have, making, having, getting, giving, phone sex, love, head, vibrator, dildo, bestiality, shit, bastard, voyeurism, rectum, anus, suck, lick, cock, dong, dick, penis, hard on, clit, twat, tits, homo, bi, sex, erotica, erotic, hardcore, masturbating, masturbated, masturbate, masturbation, jerked off, urinate, urinating, urinated, pissed, hot, anal, oral, vaginal, kinky, nipple ring, jockstrap, g-string, pasties,semen, sperm, jism, gay, faggot, queer, lesbian, nigger, homophobe, pervert, fudge-pack, rump-ranger, fairy, naked, nude, nudism, naturism, nudist, topless, bottomless, strip, clothesoff, toy, toys, story, stories, boy, rights, community, activities, child, female, adolescent, kid, kiddieporn, altsex, tasteless, foreskin, hotlynx, hotlink, hotlist, redhot, naughty, xrated, xxrated, xxxrated, babes, blondes, girls, stripclub, bondage, sadomach, pedophile, necrophilia, sodomy, sodomize, horny, nambla, condom, bdsm, slut, hooker, prostitute, whore, pam, pamela, sue, anderson, smut, breasts, boob, hooter, tits, titties, nipple, pornography, chick, chix, striptease, showgirl, transgender, strip, cheerleaders, orgasm, foreplay, centerfold, safesex, gaylinks,

But it's not just sex: white, power, supremacy, separatist, militia, fascist, fascism, kikes, nigger, spades, aryan, skinhead, hitler, hate, violence, racism, supremacy, kukluxklan, kkk, militia, survival, gun, explosive, hacker, hacking, queens, actup, autopsy, stupid, dumb, ugly, fat, idiot, dolt, hotwire, napalm, explosive, bomb, c4, steal, ripoff, murder, kill, snuff, maim, mayhem, anarchy, anarchist, make, making, construct, bomb, terror, dead, death, bennetthaselton, commit, mass suicide, heavensgate, : dontbuycybersitter.

I'm sure that, having printed all these naughty words, there will be all sorts of acts of sex (gasp!) and violence directly traceable to this column. (Ha!) Next month: the forbidden web sites (yes, we're included) and, in September, a new columnist!

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