Admit it. You've watched them. You know... porno movies. All those naked, panting, sweaty people twisting into all those Tantric sex poses so some guy with a shoulder-held video camera can show you a different kind of tight shot. And you liked it, dammit! If you hadn't, you'd be reading something where the ladies wear more clothes. And maybe, just maybe, you didn't just like it... you wanted to do it. Not just with your regular partner... with an audience. Yeah, an audience. But how? How?

Like so many things in life the answer is both simple and complex. Before I give you specific information, you have to sit through my mini-lecture. It's sort of like an erotic soup kitchen. But, man, the pay-off!

The first thing to keep in mind at all times is that you’re probably not going to get rich and it may cause problems in your professional life, depending on what you do for a living now or want to do in the future. If your real dream is to break into mainstream movies, don't delude yourself that sucking Tom Byron is going to get you an Academy Award winning role in a major motion picture opening in a theater near you soon. It might, but odds are against it. With this in mind, the next thing to remember is that you're going to have to have a pretty good answer when your friends or relatives ask you what you've been doing for a living... and a damn good answer if they rent something where you're doing it. Then, of course, there's the whole question of how to tell the kids... or explain it if their friends break the news to them first. If you think you're cool and the gang with all of this, then the next thing to consider is how you can best go about making yourself sensually immortal.

It's a buyer's market and if you don't know that then you probably don't know enough about porn to work in the industry. What this means, of course, is that it's much easier to break into the field if you're female than if you're male. Besides the gender make-up of most viewers, there's this thing called the Wood Problem.

The ability to stay hard is probably the most important ability you'll need if you want to even be even considered for porn work. Without that erection there's no movie, unless it's all girl/girl action, of course. And, gentlemen, you'd better be able to not only get it up and keep it up (under lights with a studio full of people watching, chatting, eating, etc.), you'd better be able to do it on command and with results. If you've got a shy Willy then maybe you'd be better holding a camera then holding your dick. No shame in that.

And you ladies? What about you? Being gorgeous is always a plus, of course, but more importantly... can you generate heat in front of the camera? If you're answer is yes, then it may well we time to make the next move... finding a place to showcase your boiling point.

Depending on what kind of videos you're wanting to make, you might want to start with amateur tapes. Ads looking for talent can be found at the back of many adult magazines and newspapers. But no lone males, I’m afraid While a girl alone is always welcome, a guy without a female is going to find his options limited. Be aware also, gentlemen, that if your lady eventually tires of your services the industry may very well follow suit, so treat your lady well.

Now, gay films (“gay” meaning boy/boy) clearly don’t require girls as calling cards. However, they come with their own special requirements. The industry tends to follow fads but there are a few things which are constant: You're going to get a lot more work if you can be both a top and a bottom on film; your dick must be at least 6.5” long (don't worry, it’ll look longer on film); you need extensive, hairless, body definition with about 5% body fat. A strong tan wouldn't hurt, and you’ll need to moan and scream as well as get hard and cum on command. Gay porn doesn’t seem to care for eccentric looking men. No tattoos, unusual haircuts, moles, birthmarks, piercings or scars. You may be gay, but looking like Ward Cleaver gone '90s will get you work. You’ll find ads for male models and video performers in gay publications.

But what if you really, really, really wanna work for the big studios: Sin City, Evil Angel, VCA, Wicked, Vivid, Anabolic... you know, folks like that? Well, the first thing you probably need to do is move to California; the Los Angeles area to be exact. Porn Valley, the real silicon valley, as far as porn's concerned. But becoming a Valley Girl isn't going to be enough, you've got to make those contacts and there are a number of ways to do that.

Bill Margold, porn pioneer, founding member of PAW (Protecting Adult Welfare), and self-made Papa Bear of the adult industry's talent pool, thinks your best bet is calling him and letting him talk you out of it. If, after talking with Papa Bear you still think you have what it takes and the industry has what you want... then he'll stand by you while you make your way through the great flesh jungle. You can call him any day, any time at (213) 650-7121. He's worked with or met nearly everyone in the industry, has some controversial views on just about everything, and is probably one of the most genuine people you'll ever meet, so you've been warned, cupcake. His current starlets are Cannibal and Gina Gemstone, so watch for them.

According to Margold, a self-proclaimed "bully with benevolence," prospective talent needs to be aware of the fact that long after they've left the industry, their films may well be circulating. With this in mind, think very hard about exactly what kind of porn you want to be involved with, if you still want to do it at all.

Portland's own shining star, Jacklyn Lick (of our beloved Lick Sisters) works without an agent. Her advice to anyone interested in joining the family of flesh is thus: "If you like sex, it's a good thing to get into. Don't get into it just for the money. Just move down here (California) and be here in case people don't show up." Several of Jacklyn's early roles resulted from being available when other people flaked out and now she's finishing a mainstream B-movie called Lost Souls, co-starring with Ginger Lynn.

Jacklyn recommends that you make a list of your favorite production companies and directors and then go visit them with a list of your interests and limits. Remember, all video companies are not the same. There's a big difference, for instance, between a softcore Andrew Blake flick and a super raunchy Max Steiner degrad-a-thon. Know your video companies and your directors in advance... and know what you will and will not do. Once you're working your boundaries may expand, but making your first porn flick should be something you enjoy, so don't dive in at the deep end unless you're ready to swim hard. For you sex stallions out there she suggests checking out video "fan fucks" like those presented by Christy Canyon and Jasmin St. Claire. Both ladies and the gentlemen can meet feature performers when they come into town and ask them how they got their start, too.

Once you've made your connections, what can you expect for your trouble? While it’s hard to pin down exact amounts in this industry, if you’re female, you're probably looking at somewhere between $300 to $700 or more (non-amateur), while males can expect something in the $250 to $500 a day range. Keep in mind, there are no royalties for sales or rentals, nor is there extra payment if footage is re-used in compilations. Most videos are shot in one day and there are often more than one video being shot per day, to hold down equipment rental costs. And if my visit to Porn Valley's sound stages was any indication, don't expect anything except the pop shots to be be on time.

If you're a cyber grrrl or boy, you can find more information on Usenet at the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions).

Advice...and insights into very porny girl, Jasmin St. Claire

I admit it. I didn't know what to expect from the woman who members of the adult press have best... an "ice queen." Would Jasmin St. Claire truly be the bitch-queen so many reporters had painted her as? Maybe it was because I didn't waste our time hitting on her, but I found her to be intelligent, charming and professional.

In an industry stocked with women whose primary job is to coo and present, St. Claire is an individual. Visually stunning with lush, sleepy eyes that should have life guards positioned nearby for possible drowning victims, her mind is unexpectedly pragmatic. She is a businesswoman who knows that her body is one of her best investments and that her work, no matter how entertaining, is not of earth-shattering importance. "When you actually donate something to mankind like the cure for AIDS or a way to end world hunger, that's when you can adapt that attitude," she confided, referring to the superior attitude she feels some porn stars cop.

There are those, of course, who accuse St. Claire, whose primary claim to fame within the porn kingdom is beating Annabelle Chong's gang-bang total, of having the superiority complex. Perhaps that's a result of her "fuck you if you don't like it" air. Jasmin has a plan and she's clearly not going to let anyone get in her way of carrying it out. I say, you go, girl!

Her first two years of porn work were dedicated to paying off debts left to her by an ex, her next two years are aimed at saving money so she can open her own business, perhaps a boutique or foreign language school. Fluent in English, French, German, and Italian (with a smattering of Portuguese and Greek), the Sicilian and French beauty is enjoying her time in the limelight, but looking forward to the day when she can live a quieter, more private life as an everyday people.

Toward that end, the young lady who entered porn after modeling, is returning to modeling. She is one of the first porn stars to grace a jeans label. The Gen X garment manufacturer, Grind, will soon feature her exotic face on their line of sports clothing. This is an important cross-over venture for St. Claire. But, fear not, Jasmin is still very much a fantasy made flesh in her developing series, Planet Jasmin... and you could be part of the fun.

"It's like a party," she gushed about A Bang in the Park, the first in the series. "I had a really fun time!" Hardly what you'd expect to hear from an ice queen, eh? "We had a BBQ, and played frisbee and chatted and just had a great time." She'll be shooting the next episode of her fan-fuck series in January... at a ski resort. Planet Jasmin features St. Claire and 40 - 60 of her fans (and a couple female assistants) doing what comes naturally in a relaxed setting. Seems to me that if St. Clair was as frigid as the journalists she's declined to sleep with claim she is, she wouldn't be including her fans in her work. Much more elite to screw only other members of club erotica, don'tcha think? Maybe I'm just biased, but anyone who considers local divas Jacklyn Lick, Deva Station, and Dawn Burning among her few industry friends can't be all bad.

Oregon has apparently been very good to Jasmin because, during her recent appearance at Salem's Scores, she kept telling me enthusiastically that no other club had ever treated her as well. Maybe we'll get an unusually sexy foreign language instructor one of these days?

If you're interested in learning more about Jasmin's video plans (and maybe being part of them) you can join her fan club for $25 (hey, you get an opportunity to own a souvenier used vibrator or dildo with your name on it!) by writing to: Jasmin St. Claire Fan Club, c/o D.O.M. Corporation, PO, Box 9786, Marina del Rey, CA 90295. Make sure and tell her Exotic Magazine sent you.

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