Tales Of The Darklady
E-MAIL: darklady@spiritone.com : Website: http://www.spiritone.com/~darklady

During my time as editor of this magazine I have had many people condemn me for my work, claiming that it oppresses, humiliates, and demeans women. The vast majority of these people fall into a category which sex activist Carol Queen calls "absexuals": people whose obsession with other people's sexuality is realized through enthusiastic and often outrageous condemnation.

It's not unusual for people involved in the adult industry, particularly women, to be condemned. Usually, absexuals take extreme scenarios and depict them as the norm. For instance, drug or alcohol addicted women who use their work to maintain their addictions are depicted as the standard and their addictions a result of their work. It doesn't take a great deal of effort, however, to disprove these people and show them to be the reactionaries that they are. An example: a recent post in alt.recovery.catholicism which I frequent, claimed that the X-Publishing web site contained a graphic representation of a disembodied penis entering a less disembodied vagina. Well, I checked, in the unlikely event that the site designer had done something radical which I was unaware of, and have yet to find said graphic. Until I do, I shall continue to conclude that this is yet another hysteria-induced hallucination on the part of yet another religious zealot.

What saddens and amuses me the most, perhaps, is that the most vocal absexuals appear to be: 1) men repelled by even the most vanilla of sex, and 2) people who claim to have viewed little, if any, mainstream adult material.

The scenerios which they claim are everyday occurances in adult material are generally the sort which nauseate most consumers and producers of erotica, such as child porn, bestiality, and genuine rape. Perhaps this is another classic example of projection, especially when one takes into consideration the number of Catholic priests found guilty of sexually molesting young altar boys, and televangelists discovered enjoying the services of sex workers whose jobs are not yet legal.

But what about the women who actually work in the industry? They've never approached me, sent me mail, or indicated that they think what I'm doing is wrong. In fact, I have met and received mail from women all over the country and they have universally supported my efforts, often calling me a representative and articulate voice for them. Perhaps the word has simply not got to them yet from the superior males in the absexual community that they are miserable creatures who should quit their jobs and spend more time baking apple pies for church socials and having babies, thereby truly fulfilling their potential as women and human beings.

Now, I don't expect everyone to enjoy erotic material. What disturbs me is the hypocrisy of this argument. On the one hand, its supporters claim to care about women and believe in our intrinsic worth, then they let us know that those of us in the adult industry are clearly incapable of making decisions for ourselves. This is, to me, the fatal flaw. It presumes three things: 1) That we are unable to understand the results of our actions, 2) That any decision one makes must always leave one feeling positive, and 3) That working in the adult industry will always, or even nearly always, be a negative experience, and therefore should not be an option. If we're going to follow this line of thinking then we should not allow people to marry (given the 50% divorce rate) or to have children, for starters.

What this all boils down to is a desire to control other people so that absexuals can feel better about their own decisions. I think I do speak for people in this industry when I say that I don't appreciate anyone telling me what to do... especially not cowards afraid of their own sexuality.

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