Carnal Knowledge 5.06

by Frank Faillace / E-MAIL:

Jacob Pander shot our cover with model and collaborator Marne Lucas. You can see more Pander-Lucas photography in their gallery showing this month at Umbra Penumbra. Jacob, of course, is one-half of the Pander Brothers [uh, oh... not those evil Pander twins again... now which is the evil one, Jacob or Arnold?] Well, Arnold’s sometimes got that evil smirk, but Jacob hangs out with Marne a lot... [hangs out... yeah.... I wish I could “hang out” with her like he did in that porno they made...] The Operation, yeah, that was cool. [yeah, how many times did you jack off to that?] Once or twice maybe. Anyway, anyone who hangs out with her must have the devil inside somewhere [right on... slip in that gratuitous INXS joke...] Anyway, the bro’s are famous for their Triple X comics and are currently working on their new project called Secret Broadcast. Marne is trotting the globe modeling for famous fetish photographers and working on her own inner slut...

So a few people have asked me about the little logo change on the cover last month to from Exotic to Exotica magazine. We’ve talked about it for years and I guess I was just bored... [and maybe a little looped...] Besides half the people already called it Exotica. Anyway, it’s my magazine and I can call it anything I want. [I think you should call it Crackwhore magazine...] I could do that, but it would probably piss off a lot of people, like the girls on the cover and inside. [yeah, and then you’d never get laid...] Yeah, and it would probably piss off some of the advertisers. [yeah, and then you’d never get paid...] Yeah, and I’ve learned it’s not cool to piss off the people who lay you or pay you. [how about if you just called it Penthouse...]

In other random news, the Oregon Liquor Control Commission has decided that Miller Genuine Draft can no longer sponsor our monthly calendar so MGD is running a display ad instead. Apparently the OLCC decided that we can’t mention drink specials even in editorial copy. [so how can you tell everyone about the great time you had last week at the Horny Monkey Bar & Lounge drinking the 25-cent screwdriver specials from 5 to 7pm?] Hmmm... I guess I can’t...

Make sure you catch at least one of the Miss Exotica 1998 contests this month. They are heating up more and more as we get closer to the grand finals on January 24th with over $30,000 in cash and prizes. See ads on pages 3,10, 28 and 29 for more details.

And finally a personal thanks to Josh Feit at Willamette Week who somehow made me sound relatively benevolent in the article he wrote a couple weeks ago. [yeah, and we were only kidding when we called them all morons back in September...]

Till next time, as Bogart says in Casablanca “We’ll always have Vegas, baby...”

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