conventions and their bundles of cash to Pornland? What do conventioneers want besides a nice hotel room and good public transportation?! WHORES!! You idiot.]

When we finally got our chance to speak, sixteen women spoke concisely and eloquently for two minutes each on issues ranging from public health, domestic abuse, child safety issues, and privacy of workers and their clients, to, of course, the truly demonizing nature of the law and its blatant unfairness.

My point then, and now, is that it is impossible to legislate the sex industry out of existence. Prostitutes always have existed and they always will. The sex industry represents as much as a quarter of our GNP, and 85% of the world wide web. Now, why would you want to go back in time and ghettoize a group of largely self-employed, entrepreneurial women who are mindful of safety issues? Ordinance 14.44 will put more illicit activity back on Portland's streets, where it is harder to keep track of or regulate. Now that the issue is on the drawing board, let it be in keeping with Portland's supposedly long and proud tradition of progressive, community-informed and community-positive legislation. Instead of taking two steps back by demonizing this large population, take a step forward with progressive legislation that would ensure that the sex industry is a safe, law-abiding organization that guarantees its workers rights and its clients privacy. Next time you make sweeping ordinances that affect a large part of the voting populace, ask them first what they want, what they need, and what their concerns are. Is that inconceivable? Vera Katz, this is no Third Reich. Saddling sex workers with gold stars or scarlet letters does nothing for team spirit.

Meanwhile, I'm still embarrassed to be living in a country where, after one hundred years as voting citizens, women STILL can't use their bodies as they wish. Why can we accept money for getting fucked in pornography or Hollywood, or for offering our sexual organs up for sale (i.e., uterus, eggs, brain), but not when we, the WOMAN, are solely in charge of the decision? Our government is pimping us! It's untenable! My philosophy is if you see a sister getting fucked unfairly, you yell rape and fuckin' fight it! I'm YELLING.

p.s. Kudos to Commissioner Charlie Hale for showing us girls respect and for complimenting me on my testimony. You are dreamy, Commissioner Hale.

p.p.s. Viva's new Band!! Satyricon December 12th. Winner of the "Name Viva's Band" contest gets one night with the band member of his/her choice!! Also, Viva acoustic same night around the corner at the Milk Bar. Happy Holidays!

The Gospel according to Viva Las Vegas - The Laziest gal downtown

Viva Las Vegas Piccie

GODDAMN I love this town!! Portland sex workers RULE!!

Just when I was feeling another Christmas poem swelling within me, Portland sex workers stunned me into absolute evangelism. AGAIN!

Only three hungover days after our fabulous Sex Workers Masquerade Ball, City Council met to discuss their recently minted City ordinance 14.44 that requires lingerie models and escorts to obtain expensive permits after invasive identification procedures. [If you're not hip to this and have ever tried to join the FBI or CIA, well, becoming a Pornland model or escort is now harder than that.]

Ordinance 14.44 passed without any of the usual public discussion or input back in September. That said, it wasn't up for debate at all. It was probably just a matter of antiquated decorum that saw Ordinance 14.44 on the agenda at all, tacked on last as it was. However, a motley crew of nearly thirty of Portland's most invisible population, her sex workers, roused themselves by 8am to sit through a long Council meeting where they were treated rather dismissively, but in the end surprised everyone, even themselves, with their display of unity, intelligence, and passion.

Alongside us were friends, musicians, and leaders of local feminist organizations. It was heartening just to feel that somehow the word got out to our various communities, although the Ordinance was railroaded through the council without so much as a peep of dissent or media awareness. Even by the time of the November meeting, the council members seemed to have forgotten that they routed the constitution a short month before and fucked over a large part of the local economy. [Hey, Vera! You know how you wanna draw