Erotic City 'Nothing but the Naked Truth'  September 2000
"Nothing but the Naked Truth"
September 2001

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KOIN TV's Obscene Spelling Error


Exotic
magazine was on the eleven o'clock news recently. KOIN TV producer, Jim Byrne, gave us two minutes of our fifteen minutes of fame with his lead story on--AGHAAST!--exposed breasts leering out through the window of a downtown Portland coinbox. In straight-arrow Jim Byrne's world, "If it bleeds it leads" has been replaced by "If it's seedy it leads." Or, if it has breasts...Mr. Byrne's in-depth, live, on-scene reporting of that breasted coinbox took precedence over all other news of the day. Someone was offended by bare breasts staring back at them as they walked down the street on a sunny summer day...albeit some very nice breasts belonging to last month's cover model, Asia . "I think that's terrible...that's disgraceful...I don't mind if that's in a store where people like that go," the outraged passerby said to reporter Joel Iwanaga.
But what really offends me is that producer Byrne is illiterate: his segment broadcast the word obscene spelled "OBSENE" for ten full seconds in huge block letters taking up half the screen. Now that's obscene. Our bare breasts may be obscene but at least we at Exotic know how to spell it. Anyhow, producer Byrne's hugely misspelled point was: Is this public display of bare breasts obscene, i.e. fracturing any existing obscenity law? Well, little Jimmy, if you knew anything about the Oregon Constitution, you'd know that obscenity is protected free speech in the big bald Beaver State, with or without the "C. So, your piece had no point, other than you were offended.
I can tell you what is breaking the law and that's the 75 Exotic coinboxes that have been stolen from downtown Portland over the last eight years. Each one costs approximately $200 total for purchase, refurbishing, spare parts and placement, including one-half inch cables and hefty locks securing them to lightposts. It takes some real intention, effort and professional bolt cutters to remove them. Not to mention, someone would need to have "authority" that would go unquestioned, as they drove around and spent five to ten minutes cutting through the cable and dragging it into a vehicle large enough to haul it away. Someone like Association for Portland Progress would have all of the above; for those of you who don't know, APP is the private company sub-contracted by the the city and the major hotels to clean portions of downtown--bus malls, Pioneer Square, etc.--and they provide the tour-guide and rent-a-cop presence during the day. So, they are the ones charged with keeping Portland clean and safe...from adult magazine coinboxes dispensing bare breasted filth in our most livable city? $15,000 worth of coinboxes stolen. Could that be the real story, Mr. Byrne...along with, how did you get to be a producer when you can't even spell? You're as bad as SFX magazine. Try using spellcheck software.

 

 

Gentelmen's Club News

So it's time to kick off another installment of Erotic City, and since this is the final step in the creation of this fine piece of literary trash, that means its time to wrap up another deadline and call it Exotic magazine's Schoolgirl Sleaze-O-Rama. This has been a very interesting month, so damn interesting that I'll be checking myself into therapy lockdown for a week or so as soon as I finish this column. So let's get started and feed all you horny bastards all the goodies and treats that Pornland has in store for you this September. And remember, while you're reading this I'll be sitting in a padded room waiting for my medication, all in the name of Exotic and you, our loyal readers.
Where better to start than the beginning, with our cover of this month's schoolgirl spectacular, Ginger from Cocktails & Dreams. Aside from scoring this months cover, C&D has a ton of special treats in store for you this month. Such as their fourth stage which will be specializing in catering to full-figured women (guess they'd better make sure they keep the buffet catered as well). The other three stages will be filled with tantalizing dancers provided by the new agency in town, Brickhouse Promotions. Check out the best of Brickhouse's babes slugging it out for $300 in cash prizes on Saturday the 22nd in C&D's all-new monthly dance contest. The Boobs & Booze Cruise courtesy of PortlandExoticDancers.com on the 21st, and then we have the live music scene covered with OmniBox on the 15th, and The Littlefield All Stars on the 29th. Is that enough for you? If not...try this one on for size...The Ink-N-Pink Cabaret 2001 will be turning the place inside out on Friday October 19th. See the Ink-N-Pink update below for more details.
Next up on the chopping block is the gang at Doc's Bar & Grill. That's right, they're back in our pages where they've always belonged. And if you're looking for hot, naked action with all the belles and whistles, Doc's is the place for you my friends. On Sept. 6th, we'll get all slippery with an oil wrestling tournament and another chance to win a wet and wild voyage on the PortlandExoticDancers.com Boobs & Booze Cruise on Thursday, Sept. 13th. Doc's will be rockin' all month long with music from The Gasoline Kings & Kinghat on Sept. 9th, Stark Raving Naked on Sept. 15th, EZ Connection on Sept. 16th and one of our favorites, Atom Sane on Sept. 29th. Have we left anything out? Oh yeah, how could I forget, the Ink-N-Pink Cabaret will be buzzing into Doc's on Oct. 26th with very special guests, Rorschach Test.
Club Coco II is back in the mag this month to let all of you know that the Ross Island Bridge is finally open and they are ready to party dammit. Club Coco is offering a full bar and kitchen for your enjoyment while your eyes are feasting on their hot exotic dancers. Stop by and tell 'em Exotic sent you, who knows what that might get you.
The gang at Stars Cabaret is offering up 3 whole days and nights filled with wet dreams with their Pajama Party on Sept. 11, 12 & 13th. we're talkin' about all the Stars babes performing their steamy, sultry sets from the comfort of a nice warm bed. And if you show up in PJ's, you'll be able to enjoy the specials Stars is offering. However, those silk pajamas you'll be strutting across the club in might not disguise that hard on very well. Stars is also throwing a fiesta in all 3 locations to celebrate Mexican Independence Day with a free taco bar and $1 off all Mexican Beverages. And be sure not to miss mega-breasted magazine starlet Alyssa Alps also baring it all in all 3 locations.
The Boom Boom Room on Barbur Boulevard is welcoming back one of their finest, the one and only Boom Raider herself, Pandora. Be on the lookout for more coverage, or should we say, uncoverage of Pandora in our big 100th issue in November.
The Ink-N-Pink Cabaret 2001- A Tattoo Odyssey will be buzzing through Pornland all through October leaving its mark on Union Jacks on October 5th, Jody's on October 12th, Cocktails & Dreams on October October 19th, Doc's Bar & Grill on October 26th, and climaxing at Dante's on Hell night, October 31st. Ink-n-Pink is a fun-filled tattoo circus of fire dancers, tattooed dancers, magicians, $3000 in cash and tattoo prizes, our Mistress of Ceremonies, Miss Ink-n-Pink 2000 Sage, and extra-special guests Rorschach Test. See next month's issue for all the ink in living color.

 

Adult Store News

Mr. Peeps Adult Superstore out on TV Highway is finally rolling along at full speed. 24 hours of full service adult activities, including live private dancer shows, a video/DVD arcade for on-premise viewing, magazines, novelties, adult toys. The address is 20625 SW TV Highway in Aloha. The telephone number is 503-356-5624.
You may remember the controversy caused when they were first opening the store late last year and early this year, which included intense news coverage by the sex-news-hungry local television media and neighborhood infighting and picketing.
This is actually the third store in a family-owned chain of stores that include The Peephole and The Love Boutique, both out on SE 122nd Avenue.
Mr. Peeps joins the other classy adult superstores out in the deep Southwest metro area like DK Wilds in Beaverton, Fantasy Video in Beaverton and Tigard, Sweet Sensations in Beaverton and Castle Superstore and the Silver Spoon along Barbur Blvd.

 

Internet News

PortlandExoticDancers.com is hosting another pair of Boobs & Booze Cruises this month. The first will be featured at Doc's Bar & Grill on Thursday Sept. 13th and the second at Cocktails & Dreams on Friday Sept. 21st. In case you're unaware what a Boobs and Booze Cruise is...let me fill you in. First we have a sexy crew of exotic dancers aboard to fulfill your lust, then we have a fully-catered buffet to fill your stomach, and a fully-stocked, open bar to cloud your reality. There are two ways to climb aboard this 6-hour cruise. You can either go to Doc's or Cocktails and hope you're one of the lucky seamen to win a boarding pass, or you can play it safe, and log on to PortlandExoticDancers.com and purchase your ticket online. While you're online, be sure to send an email to your favorite dancer, or purchase a pair of her panties so you can have a souvenir to bring along on the cruise.

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

SPECIAL EVENTS

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 5
MONTHLY DANCE CONTEST * Sassy's * 10pm
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 6
OIL WRESTLING TOURNAMENT * Doc's Bar & Grill
XOTICA-GO-GO * Cobalt Lounge * 10pm
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 9
THE GASOLINE KINGS/KINGHAT * Doc's Bar & Grill
SINFERNO CABARET * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 10
SOOBIE'S PINUP CONTEST * Soobie's Bar & Grill
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 11
TWO-FER-TUESDAYS * Club 205
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 11-13
STARS PAJAMA PARTY * Stars Cabaret Beaverton
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 26
COVERGIRL FASHION SHOW * Club 205 * 10pm
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 13
P.E.D. BOOBS & BOOZE CRUISE PRE-PARTY * Doc's Bar & Grill * 10pm
XOTICA-GO-GO * Cobalt Lounge * 10pm
MENAGE-A-TROIS * Club 205
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 14-15
MAGAZINE STAR ALYSSA ALPS * Stars Cabaret Bend
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 15
STARK RAVING NAKED * Doc's Bar & grill
LIVE MUSIC W/OMNIBOX * Cocktails & Dreams
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 16
EZ CONNECTION * Doc's Bar & Grill
SINFERNO CABARET * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 18-20
MAGAZINE STAR ALYSSA ALPS * Stars Cabaret Beaverton
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 19-22
HUSTLER COVERGIRL TRISTAN BLUE * The Main Event * Salem
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 20
BEST ASS SHANKIN' CONTEST * Soonie's Bar & Grill
XOTICA-GO-GO * Cobalt Lounge * 10pm
JODY'S MARDI GRAS DANCE CONTEST * Jody's Bar & Grill
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 21-22
MAGAZINE STAR ALYSSA ALPS * Stars Cabaret Salem
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 21
P.E.D. BOOBS & BOOZE CRUISE PRE-PARTY * Cocktails & Dreams * 10pm
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 22
MONTHLY DANCE CONTEST * Cocktails & Dreams * 9 pm
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 23
GOLF TOURNAMENT * Club 205
SINFERNO CABARET * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 25
TWO-FER-TUESDAYS * Club 205
DANCE CONTEST * Montego's
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 26
COVERGIRL DANCE CONTEST * Club 205 * 10pm
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 29
LIVE MUSIC W/OMNIBOX * Cocktails & Dreams
ATOM SANE * Doc's Bar & Grill

 

 

WEEKLY EVENTS

MONDAYS
The Main Event * Buck Night
Karaoke From Hell * Dante's
Monday Night Football Specials * Doc's Bar & Grill
TUESDAYS
The Egyptian Room * The Ladies Dance for the Ladies * 9pm
Club 205 * Ladies' Night
WEDNESDAYS
Ladies Night * Doc's Bar & Grill
Sassy's * Widmer Wednesdays
City Limits Showgirls * Wild Wednesdays
THURSDAYS
Sassy's * Deschutes Thirsty Thursdays
Karaoke From Hell *The Woodshed
Xotica-Go-Go * Cobalt Lounge * 10pm-Close
SUNDAYS
Sinferno Cabaret * Dante's (SW 3rd & Burnside) * 10pm
Sunday Night Free Buffet * The Dolphin
Free Pool * Sassy's


 

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