Mary-Jo showed up in the nick of time to escort us backstage.
She took us to a little room where our prey awaited us,
name was Kerry or Perry and he DID NOT have long hair.
Instead he had tattoos all over his head. (I theorized
that Kerry or Perry, when starting to lose his hair,
was fired from Slayer, the ultimate hair band. But he
filed a discrimination lawsuit and won, under the stipulation
that he get tattoos and do all the interviews FOR THE
REST OF HIS LIFE.) Me 'n' Blondie cracked open a couple
of Heinies and splayed across the couch, trying to put
the poor guy at ease, but he just nervously sipped his
spring water. I think we intimidated him.
So, SLAYER, what is the sexiest song of all-time?
[confusion] I guess I'm not really into sexy music....probably
the Deftones, I don't what song it is. It's on Around
the Fur, it's number ten ["MX"--Ed.], where
some chick answers him....
What about like Al Green?
WHO? I never heard of him.
Sexiest singer of all time?
All-time? I don't know about all-time. But today I'll
pick Shania Twain.
Shania Twain? Really?
Behind that fuckin' good-girl all-Canadian fuckin' moniker
of hers is a fuckin' slut waiting to be born. I don't
know who she's trying to kid goin' out with Mutt Lange.
I mean, what is he, like 60 and fat? But rich?
Do you frequent strip bars at all?
I used to. I used to be a fuckin' titty bar magnet.
But I haven't gone in a LONG time.
Why? Do you have a Valentine now? Yeah? Where is she?
LA. Shit, I just kinda got over it. I remember when
I was 24 I used to go all the time. My first wife I
met in a strip bar.
Oh really? Was she dancing?
Yep. I walked in and I said, "I'm takin' that one."
And I did.
Do you have puppies with this Valentine?
Well, I used to breed snakes! I used to have like four
hundred of them. But they were taking too much of my
time. I wanted to put more time into this, so I sold
Sydney. Cuz I like Australian accents.
What's the sexiest thing you've ever seen onstage?
Probably years ago, when we were in Canada and they
had chicks in showers onstage. I'd never seen anything
Are the kids alright?
"I never really wanted
to hear Slayer. Not until they deigned
to play on Valentine's Day...."
Depends on which kids you're talking about. Our kids
seems like our fan base kind of recycled itself.
I think Slayer could do that indefinitely. What's the
That is the trick: recycling your kids. Staying relevant
to your original fans as well as new ones.
Yeah, like what's up with your latest record? I mean,
it kicks ass.
Well yeah, it's supposed to! I think it deals with things
that kids young and old can associate to [sic] and bridge
the gap. I don't think we did that intentionally, it
just came out that way.
You got a favorite Stones album? You know, the Rolling
Nope! [Pause.] I mean I have maybe a favorite Stones
Oh yeah? What's that?
"Sympathy for the Devil." "Paint it, Black" is pretty
What about Chrissie Hynde--ya heard of her?
You know...stock question...
Sexy or no? Nope!
My brother says she's got a voice that can make a guy
cum in ten seconds.
I'm waiting! It's been about fifteen years now!
Favorite movie of 2001?
Favorite war movie of all time?
Like, have you seen The Longest Day? Slayer:
Nope. Probably the first Nightmare on Elm Street.
That movie is fucked-up. Like the girl says, "Oh, God!"
and Freddie stretches out his fingers and says, "This
is God." And I'm like, "FUCK Yeah!!"
Favorite guitar solo of all time?
There are so many....I'd probably pick something off-the-wall
like Glenn Tipton on "Beyond the Realms of Death." It's
the first one, the lead-in song.
Uh-huh. Sexiest guitar sound?
Well, it'd have to be one of mine. Take your pick! I
play V's and I play Warlocks. I'll have to go with the
[after super-hot & married lead singer comes in
looking for his green tea with mint]: Sexiest drink
of all time?
Most influential musician of the 20th century?
Randy Rhoads or Eddie Van Halen.
Do you have a favorite Bob Dylan song?
Nope! I couldn't even name one if I had to.