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"Can we, as a country, all agree

xmag.com : April 2002: Peaches

Ever go to the record store with a few extra kopecks in your pocket and pick up the first CD that has some chick's silly putty all tightly wrapped in neon fuschia hot pants? I mean, those marketing suds obviously know who they're talking to when they do shit like that. Then you put it on, spin, and it spits out the usual angsty boy-band crap and you know you've been taken for a ride. Not so with The Teaches of Peaches. These eleven smokin' stripper grooves from superbad rapper Peaches put the "hot" in hot pants. And when this girl shows her honey on the jacket, you are PROMISED that it will be sticky inside.

This is quite frankly the best CD for strippers to strip to since, like, Marvin Gaye, and you'd better go buy it. Girl made it in the comfort of her own bedroom, alone, with a trusty ol' beat box (much more reliable than those old-fashioned drummers 'n' bassists, with their egos and addictions). I'm figuring there were also a large handful of sex toys involved, some stilettos and garter belts, and a detailed journal of cummers and goners.

The whole platter is rather reminiscent of Breakin', but with genius Planned Parenthood rhymes and a fistful of punk rock. Someone else dubbed it a cross between Penthouse Forum and Charles Manson. The opening track, "Fuck the Pain Away," saunters outta nowhere with this little couplet:

Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me/callin' me all the time

like Blondie/check out my Chrissie behind

it's fine all over the time.

And while these songs mighta been crafted by one person and with one hand, they were obviously intended to stroke and rub a crowd
into ecstasy.

Her live show is notorious for the naughty goings-on: in less-conservative nations, real live penetration has been achieved, plus the usual menu of rubbing, licking and sucking, which this vulgar Canadian temptress virtually demands. In the track "AA XXX," the Peach taunts her audience with this refrain:

Licky licky sucky nobody here can tell me they don't wanna fucky

fucky....

Who's gonna motherfuckin' step up?

And for boyz who don't know who she is or how to do her, she explains patiently,

There's only one Peach with a hole in the middle

Diddle my skittle/Diddle my skittle.

Got your money's worth yet? Plus, since the beats are prepackaged, Peach
has her hands free to do whatever she wants to herself or to you. She preaches her own gospel, evangelical-style. Which is probably why I think she's such a Cherry Bomb.

"This is quite frankly the best CD for strippers to strip to since, like, Marvin Gaye, and you'd better go buy it."

Peach sat down with Exotic last month before she opened up for pervert savant John Waters (whose hand I got to shake!!!). [Note--remember to read this with a darling little zherrmon agzent....Miss Peach has been ein Berliner for quite some time now.] Here's a look at what fertilized the tree she got shook down from:

VIVA: What's the sexiest song of all time?

Peaches: I feel like being just totally obvious and saying Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Baby." No. "I Feel Love." The extended mix.

Sexiest singer?

Oh, God. These are hard. Can I go home? There's so many different kinds of sexy. Let's just say Iggy Pop. Who do you think is the sexiest?

Me? Oh, God. These are hard. I love the Stooges' music, but I think that Chrissie Hynde has a really sexy voice.

Yeah. She's like my favorite. That first album is amazingly sexy. Actually, let's say "Precious" for the sexiest song. I really really love Chrissie. I also think the Runaways are really really sexy. Maybe Iggy Pop/Runaways. Can we start
over again?

What's sexy about Canada?

There's less people and more space, so you can have, you know, more sex outside and less people coming by. Unless you want them to come by.

Sexiest drink?

Chartreuse with sambuca with some Tabasco in it. It's fuckin' amazing.

What's the sexiest thing you've ever seen onstage?

I wear a dildo sometimes, and I had a straight guy sucking me off, which was really cool. I didn't even ask him to. He just came up and was slowly sucking me off. I also had a crazy sexy dance with a girl onstage and I got totally horny. It was so fun.

Song you'd most like to cover?

"Sex" by Berlin, which I just did cover. I had to do it because when I first heard it, it really creeped me out. Then five years later I was like, "That song is great!" You know when something creeps you out that there's something goin' on. So I felt like I had to cover that song cuz I'm sure there are some people who feel that way about Peaches.

Sexiest guitar solo of all time?

Uh, I don't find guitar solos sexy at all. It's like, "Waaaeeeeaahh..." I think they're about as sexy as beating off. It's wanking. Do you find guitar solos sexy?

No, I don't. But 90% of the people I interview are guys, and they seem to. For me, it's all about the rhythm. Alright, domestic situation. Are you available?

I'm available. I'm ready whenever.

What's the sexiest city in the world?

I think that Barcelona is pretty damn sexy. When I play a show there, I am
constantly making out with people.

New York or L.A.?

New York. I love random shit, and so much random shit happens there. L.A.'s all driving to get somewhere.

What color panties are you wearing, and how long have you been wearing them?

I'm not wearing any.

Of course. Do you ever?

Yeah, but I've given all mine away on this tour. And I tried on pants yesterday at, I'm glad to say, the Gap.

X

 

 

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