a major world religion can be difficult. But it has its
perks, chief among them the groupies. Even rock musicians
can't moisten the ladies' laps like someone who promises
to plow them with the ol' God Rod. But Prophets tend to
be arrogant and self-absorbed, and when they've finished
using the bodies of their willing female supplicants, they
toss them in the garbage like a half-eaten tray of fish
'n' chips. But now the God Groupies are having their revenge.
A website called messiahs-exes.com is run by and dedicated
to the women who've been used and then cast aside by Prophets
of the Lord. Through lively chat-room discussions and catty
message boards, these women detail their sexual encounters
with famous world religious figures. Their comments are
often shocking, frequently graphic, and always honest.
from the site's thousands of postings, these men of God
were busy li'l bumblebees with the ladies, up there with
bedroom champs such as Wilt Chamberlain and Gene Simmons.
By pooling together their comments, we've estimated each
religious leader's penis size. We've also provided three
representative comments about each Prophet's lovemaking
Penis Size: 4" long x 1" wide
was hung like a grain of rice... He sat there without moving
and wanted me to do all the work... No wonder his religion
is all about killing one's desires, because that's exactly
the effect he had on me!"
Penis Size: 5.5" long x 1.5" wide
was kinda cute, but he was totally clammy in bed...It took
a while for him to get it up, and when he did, he shot it
in about three seconds... He paid more attention to his
apostles than he did to me. A nice guy, but I think he might
Penis Size: 5.75"" long x 2.5" wide
"He was always commanding me to do stuff...I like men with
facial hair, so I thought the beard was totally hot...He
told me I have a 'burning bush,' which is the dumbest pick-up
line I ever heard."
Penis Size: 7" long x 1.5" wide
"The blue cock took a little getting used to...He smelled
like curry, which was a turn-off... I looked inside his
asshole and saw the universe."
Penis Size: 10" long x 3" wide
"He made me believe in One True God, the one dangling between
his legs...He was a bit of a player. I didn't allow myself
to trust him...Big dick, but I still didn't get off. It
was all about his pleasure, not mine. When I started moaning,
he told me to cover my face and be quiet."