This last year has been an unusual one, to say the least. Some of the industries which have been hardest-hit by various authorities’ anti-virus policies are movie theaters, while consumer demand for media has gone way up during periods of state-imposed lockdowns and self-imposed quarantines. Yes, regardless of circumstances, people remain obsessed with movies, television and the various goings-on in the general wasteland that is Tinseltown. So, to scratch that itch, I present to you a handful of possibly obscure, but definitely true, facts about Hollywood.
In preparation for the smash hit movie Avengers: Endgame, Robert Downey, Jr. completely removed all of his body hair, and when asked why by director Anthony Russo, he said he thought his character Tony Stark had lost it after being "zapped with a ray or something" during the events of the previous film. All of his hair was added back using CGI techniques.
Reality court show star Joe Brown, of Judge Joe Brown fame, was, according to a candid interview, "completely shitfaced drunk" for every episode, stating that he thought the effects of alcohol made him more personable as a TV character.
Advances in science have led to the discovery of 32 new varieties of disease in the Olsen Twins.
In 2020, a revival had been planned for the seminal sitcom The Larry Sanders Show, starring Garry Shandling, but it was put on the back burner despite fan support, as nobody had realized Shandling had died in 2016 and remains dead.
The 1984 horror-comedy film Gremlins was initially supposed to feature a "hilarious dick-sucking scene" involving one of the titular creatures. Director Joe Dante has confirmed this in an interview, but will not provide any further details.
Taking a cue from hit TV show Seinfeld, with its hidden Superman in every episode, the 2017 live-action adaptation of 1991’s Beauty And The Beast features a hidden picture of a grinning Shaquille O’Neal in every scene inside the Beast’s house.
In 2018, Paramount Pictures was gearing up to make a biopic about the life of singer Tori Amos, but canceled the project at the last minute, when an executive pointed out that "nobody’s going to want to sit through that crap."
The director’s cut of Star Wars: The Last Jedi features an additional 25 minutes of Luke Skywalker milking that creature and grinning.
Online content distributor Netflix had attempted to partner with Dairy Queen for a promotional event during the summer of 2018, hoping to capitalize on the trending phrase "Netflix and chill." The promotion would have offered free Blizzard™ frozen treats to viewers who watched particular spotlighted content. However, Dairy Queen’s executive team could not be convinced that the phrase could ditch its implied sexual connotations and dismissed the idea.
In the first draft of Tim Burton’s Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, the famed director wanted Willy Wonka (played by Johnny Depp) to reach into his pants and produce a number of tiny, crab-like creatures, which would be hurled at gluttonous Augustus Gloop in order to torment him.
In the initial screenplay for the hit 1986 film Top Gun, Tom Cruise’s character was supposed to have the call sign of "Baby Huey," but Cruise insisted it be something "cooler" and suggested "Ace Poppa." Director Jerry Bruckheimer is alleged to have rolled his eyes and suggested "Maverick," to which the excitable Cruise squealed in delight and acquiesced immediately.
Pulp Fiction’s incidental, leather-clad character of "The Gimp," played by character actor Stephen Hibbert, had a number of more famous performers scheduled to play the character. Among them were Brad Douriff, Tom Selleck and Val Kilmer, all of whom had to bail out at the last minute due to scheduling conflicts.
If you let him, actor Bronson Pinchot will talk for hours about his collection of Hummel figurines.
Actor Jim Carrey was asked in 2019 if he would once again play the title character in a new Ace Ventura movie, and he agreed he would do so, but only for 50 million dollars and only on the condition that he be allowed to do the "talking butt" gag for 75% of the film’s dialogue. Negotiations are still underway.
The sasquatch costume from Harry And The Hendersons reportedly sold in a 2017 auction for 2.3 million dollars, to an anonymous collector who stated that he wished to use the elaborate getup for the purposes of "personal gratification."
Actor Vincent Q. "Vin" Diesel has been approached to help out with a prequel to the long-running Fast And The Furious series of films, titled Speeding Up And Getting Angry. If he does, he will be digitally age-regressed to the age of 16.
The eponymous horse in the film Seabiscuit (2003) was actually two men in a horse costume, with post-production effects being used to add details and improve on the crude "horse noises" made by the performers.
If you don’t stop her, actress Jennifer Tilly will belch the alphabet with remarkable clarity.
On the set of Spider Man 3, actor and cut-up, Tobey Maguire, was known to ejaculate into the palm of his hand and randomly fling it in the faces of his unsuspecting co-workers, shouting "GO WEB GO" at the top of his lungs. This raunchy behavior lasted until actor Bruce Campbell broke into his trailer and took an "oatmeal and bratwurst" dump in the bed, knowing Maguire liked to sleep in between filming scenes.
An incident in 2020 saw actor and musician Jack Black cited by police, when his pet Orangutan, Stanley, attempted to forcibly mate with comic Louis C. K., as the pair passed Louis while having an afternoon stroll through their Beverly Hills neighborhood. Black’s L.A. county ape license was revoked pending a hearing and Stanley was temporarily remanded to the Red Ape Rainforest exhibit in the Los Angeles Zoo, where his habit of eating Slim Jims has been suspended by disapproving zookeepers. There’s the list. Being the intrepid Hollywood reporter than I am, I will keep you all apprised of any findings in the future. For now, stay safe out there and enjoy life.
-Wombstretcha The Magnificent
Wombstretcha The Magnificent is a door color analyst, semi-professional Dollar Tree shopper, writer and retired rapper from Portland, OR. He can be found at Wombstretcha.com, on Twitter as @Wombstretcha503 and on Facebook (and MeWe, the no-jail Facebook) as "Wombstretcha The Magniflcent."
