Note: I'll try to keep spoilers to a minimum, but truth be told, I'm probably not going to try very hard. I assume anybody who gives a shit about Road House has already seen both versions at least a handful of times by now.
When I learned a few months ago that a remake of Road House, starring Jake Gyllenhaal as Dalton, was in the works, I immediately knew I'd be writing about it once it was released. Those of you who have been reading my shit since I started writing for Exotic last summer might recall a piece that I wrote in July, praising Swayze’s Dalton for his approach to bouncer work (The Dalton Approach, July 2023). People who know me well know how much I love the original.
Of course, since a big part of that love is because of its portrayal of my chosen profession, a remake in which Dalton is a UFC fighter rather than a career bouncer caused me some concern. I worried that this version would disregard the professional ethos of Swayze’s Dalton and simply become a fighting movie. No more “I want you to be nice until it’s time to not be nice.” Just a bunch of dudes punching each other’s heads in. Connor McGregor making his acting debut as the final boss bad guy sure didn’t do much to reassure. They were going to wind up validating Family Guy’s assertion that the only message in Road House is “that every problem in life can be solved by kicking.”
Then there’s the problem of movie remakes in general, especially when it's a remake of any Swayze flick. Point Break? Dirty Dancing? Red-fucking-Dawn? The remakes were all hot garbage. Not one of them is fresher than 19 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Do you know why? Because to try and improve on anything Swayze has ever done demonstrates a level of hubris that tends to anger the gods...that's why. Yet, here they were, remaking Swayze again. It’s like they wanted to get their livers pecked out by eagles for all eternity. Or at least see their movie flop like the rest, which is arguably worse.
The first couple of times watching through it, I hated it. I knew I would initially hate it for all the reasons I just listed. Then, I watched it a couple more times, having shaken off my preconceptions. When giving it a more objective view, my impression was that it was a pretty decent action flick. I thought Connor McGregor was amazing, and I hope he does more acting after this, which surprised me a little bit but probably shouldn't have. His character Knox was possibly the most entertaining, chaotic, evil character I've ever seen. Gyllenhaal was awesome as Dalton, which didn’t surprise me at all. I’ve admired him as an actor since his portrayal of Anthony Swofford in Jarhead. As an action movie, this new version of Road House has everything: fighting, explosions, corruption, speed boats, fighting on speed boats, explosions on speed boats, a crocodile, more fighting, and Post Malone's shirtless, inked-up dad bod.
To me, though, it certainly didn’t hold its own against the original. There was just too much missing, not least of which...precisely the things I had worried they'd leave out. Sure, there were a few cool nods to the original: Dalton telling the doctor stitching him up that "No one wins a fight," the restaurant next to the bookstore named the Double Deuce, hell, even the bookstore itself echoed the original Dalton's penchant for reading (I’m not entirely certain Gyllenhaal’s version even knows how to read, but I am entirely certain he didn’t have Swayze’s philosophy degree). On the other hand, the absence of Dalton's mentor, Wade Garrett, left a noticeable void in the story. Gyllenhaal's Dalton sure could have used someone giving him sound advice, watching his back, and calling him "mijo" on a regular basis. Swayze and Sam Elliott portrayed a really great example of a hetero-male friendship grounded in a healthy brand of masculinity; their trust in—and vulnerability with—each other and the ease with which they expressed affection to one another really added to the sense that Dalton was a level-headed guy who wasn't approaching his job with undue aggression or machismo. Trading that out for Gyllenhaal’s archetypal sullen loner felt like a step backward for the character.
It wasn't until a few nights ago, when I was discussing the movie at work with my friend Bill, that I began to see it in its proper context. The remake is best viewed, he informed me, as a prequel. Holy shit. It all clicked into place. It’s not meant as a reimagining of Swayze—it's Dalton’s origin story. Of course, the character took a step backward; Gyllenhaal's character lacks the benefit of years of experience that Swayze's version had; we’re watching his first bouncer gig ever, with no training at all. Everything makes sense when you frame it that way. In the original, Dalton was known throughout the Eastern United States at least; the owner of the Double Deuce traveled to New York to recruit him to work in Missouri because of his reputation as a bouncer. I always thought it was weird that a bouncer would be known that far and wide just as a bouncer, but Gyllenhaal’s Dalton is a UFC fighter. It makes way more sense that he’s already known for his UFC career, and people take an interest when they learn what he’s been up to since he stopped fighting.
Without giving away too much, a mid-credits scene sets up the possibility of a sequel, and that opens up some really cool opportunities. What, you may ask, am I hoping to see in the next movie? Okay then...since you asked! Picture this: Dalton, having figured out that five grand a week is a pretty sweet deal, has done a few more jobs since the Florida gig. At the end of the night, at his most current job, a dude (I'm picturing either Jeff Bridges or Kurt Russell playing said dude, but feel free to picture whoever you want) introduces himself to Dalton as a bouncer at one of the other bars in town. He tells Dalton something to the effect of, "I heard about you, so I came here to see you work. I’ve been doing this a long time, and you’re a hell of a fighter, kid, but you’re a shit bouncer. Let me teach you a thing or two. Name’s Wade Garrett.”
I want to see them make a trilogy out of it. There’s a whole lot of room for Dalton’s character development between the events at the cleverly named Road House in Florida and the Double Deuce in Missouri. Jake Gyllenhaal has spoken about his respect and admiration for Patrick Swayze, which leaves me optimistic that if they do turn Road House into a whole movie franchise, they’ll do right by the character and let us see him grow into the top-notch bouncer who made the original Dalton so legendary. I’m just hoping the success of this new version doesn’t embolden some asshole to remake Ghost.
Nate Hazen is a bouncer, movie buff, and writer, with aspirations to become a TV creator and screenwriter. He works as Head of Security at X Exotic Lounge. Come see him on the job between Wednesday and Saturday and chat him up about Road House. He'll give you free cover if you show up ready to discuss which of Swayze's bouncer rules Gyllenhaal obeyed and which rules he didn't.
