If there’s one thing every place in the world is known for, it’s saying they are the originators of [fill in the blank here]. The PNW is no different. From corn dogs to screws and even shopping malls, the PNW has no shortage of things it claims to have invented or been the purveyor of first.
Now, I don’t have a problem with these sorts of claims or whether they’re actually true or not. Historically, written documentation of events has never been very unbiased or entirely factual, so the claims that your father invented Post-Its could very well be true. We'd just never really have any good way to back up that claim, one way or another—we can only see that 3M created the patent. Either way, when the PNW claims to have invented something I use daily or enjoy in some sense, I will be first to admit that I, too, will fall for the bait and blindly march into war, fist in the air, claiming that "The PNW had that first!" (PNW is used here as an all-encompassing area containing Washington and Oregon for brevity.)
So, with that in mind, here are some things we can probably, maybe, be proud of or at least intrigued by that claim to have been invented in the PNW.
Okay, so…yeah, corn dogs have a long history of locations around the world, stating they are the OG creators. Who's to say they're wrong? Me. Pronto Pups is an original invention, and if I'm being truly honest, it is the best corn dog you will ever enjoy. They are less sweet than typical corn dogs and, for some reason, are way more popular in the Midwest than their actual home state. Accidentally invented in 1939 due to some hot dog buns being rained on in Rockaway Beach, Pronto Pup’s savory rice, wheat, and corn flour batter was fried up on a stick with a dog, and voila! Perfection. Pronto Pups are, factually, more likely than not the first corn dogs to become franchised and sold en-masse at state fairs and such. Hard claim to back up, but there aren't many sources saying otherwise.
Jojos Dear god, if I hear someone say, "It's just a potato wedge," again, I'll roll my eyes so far back they might stay there. Jojos are not potato wedges. They are pressure-cooked, breaded pieces of golden, delicious, starchy tuber. The term "jojo" is fought over as to who came up with the term and where it originated from. But literally, no place other than Oregon and parts of Washington actually knows what the hell a jojo is when I bring it up, so there's that. Jojos (not its mediocre uncle, potato wedges) were created by a dude in Vancouver, Washington, who had a business called “Nicewonger Co.,” named after himself, selling pressure cookers sometime in the 1950s (these are now awkwardly referred to as “broasters”). Fun fact: when you're in the "sticks" of Washington and Oregon, and you come across a gas station or "food market" with a hot counter, they'll have jojos. They look questionable, but I guarantee you won't regret purchasing a serving while you're out in the middle of nowhere.
No, not the actual Wikipedia. However, the first user-made and edited internet article was conceived by Ward Cunningham, a native of Portland, in 1995. He called it the "WikiWikiWeb," utilizing a Hawaiian word for "fast." There's a detailed interview with this guy that you can find on the interwebs. Look it up yourself.
Developed by John P. Thompson of Portland and sold to a businessman named…Henry Phillips, patented in 1932. You're welcome. Now, you get to look for multiple screwdriver heads when doing a project. Isn't it great when things get more complicated, thanks to human ingenuity? I actually loathe Phillips screws and find that they make any job I do take twice as long as it would have if I had just decided to give up on the project altogether.
In 1909, William Dubilier plopped the first wireless telephone in Seattle, Washington, which was actually used as the first radio station and was played at a booth in Luna Park. For 10 cents, you could hear a recorded voice and music over the wireless transmission—fancy that. Everything has always cost money, including radio, which, for some reason, a business person in Seattle felt the urge to charge for. I'm wondering if this was the beginning of the end for free entertainment of any kind.
I almost skipped this one since I found it kind of bizarre to be "known for" this. But after World War II, the first shopping center to face all its stores towards each other, along a lengthwise mall corridor (like the typical mall nowadays), was the Northgate Mall. It also boasts being the first mall to place a movie theater inside. Called "The Granddaddy of all modern malls." Oh, daddy.
In 1969, Boeing (that company we all know and love) created the awesome Lunar Rover, which could travel at speeds of 10 mph on any terrain and was able to carry two astronauts and samples. This tech also led to motorized wheelchairs. Nifty!
Created by two different folks but in the same state of Washington. You can thank Waldo Semon and James T. Russell, respectively, for these two inventions. The latter was created in 1970 to replace vinyl, in case this needed to be mentioned.
Last but not least, marionberries were created by an OSU scientist who, for some reason, wanted to improve upon the already delicious blackberry. And did so by crossing one blackberry with another blackberry (Chehalem blackberry and Olallie blackberry). I will never pass up the chance to tell someone how delicious marionberries are and the proud fact that this fruit came from Oregon.
And there you have it. A very truncated list of things invented and probably invented items brought to you by the PNW. My heart sings when I get to tell others about the glory of many of these items—especially the Pronto Pup and marionberries. I find, for some reason, that most of the things I favor in this world were invented (supposedly or proven) in the PNW. It may be my biasedness towards my home states, but I'll still try shoving my opinions down people's throats to let them know I'm right…that my opinion is somehow as factual as our president being a lizard person that hibernates on camera, and not to question it.
Honorable mentions that were not included in this article: Hacky Sack, Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk), Bandon and Tillamook cheese, Leatherman multi-tools, plywood, Nike, Kettle brand chips, aluminum frame bicycles, microbrews, warehouse/club stores, disposable diapers, pellet stove, Magic: The Gathering, and Cialis. You're welcome.
Hannah One Cup can be found enjoying her trips to the beach for Pronto Pups and hitting up Chicken Little for some jojos and fried chicken, after which she may partake in an alcoholic beverage that includes a marionberry-flavored, Portland-brand syrup while listening to others gripe about how awful the PNW is compared to other areas…all while enjoying the fruits of her state's labor, sticking her tongue out at those griping, and making farting noises like a 5-year-old.
