Sibling rivalry is no match for sibling love. Or millions of dollars (or gold doubloons or tea bags or whatever the fuck they use in England). With Oasis's triumphant return to the stage, these mouthy, drunken mancs have once again disproven the boomers' constant and obnoxious refrain of "rock is dead." Rock is not dead, nor has it ever died, shit just changes, and you're old.
And speaking of old, we are starting to cycle back into that annoying part of music history where we hang onto dinosaurs of the past, as some benchmark to judge all newer acts. Only now the eye-rolling favorites aren't Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. It's shit that was big in the '90s and now creeping up into the '00s. Red Hot Chili Peppers and Rage Against The Machine (before they re-rebroke up) are still selling out arenas. Once Radiohead has a new album, they'll sell out a worldwide tour in seconds. The Cure apparently made more money on their last tour than they ever made in their entire career. And these are all bands with dudes in their 50s and 60s.
And what band exemplified the ‘90s nostalgia gravy train better than Oasis's near-unbelievable reunion? I just watched the footage from their inaugural show for their comeback tour in Cardiff on July 4th (excellent timing, Brothers Gallagher). The crowd looked like a Taylor Swift concert. An entire sea of people screaming along to every word. Numbers don't lie, and this band is at the height of their powers. Every show on the tour is sold out, and they're not even doing anything new. Just a victory lap of all their old hits. They didn’t even play any songs released after 2002!
Made me think of what other band could pull off this world-dominating globe-trot. There aren't a lot of rock bands left that could have this effect. Pretty much every band ever has reunited, made their cash grab, and gotten out, so not a lot of rock acts left that could match this hype. If Rage Against The Machine reunited again, it just wouldn't have the same wow factor as the last two times they reunited. Poor Blondie keeps reuniting and keeps cancelling tours because they've done it too many times. You get one shot to come back and have everyone be stoked on it. These five acts could probably do it. Also, it's my birthday, and I'd just like these bands to reunite ‘cause I haven't seen them. (Luckily, I saw Oasis in 2005, so I didn't have to spend four grand to see them now).
Ugh, pains me to write this, since this group really missed the boat to bury the hatchet and conquer the world. With Andy Rourke's tragic passing in 2023, it is now definitive that a true Smiths reunion, with all four members, will never be on stage again. I already requested this reunion back when Andy was alive, and I am now regretting not mailing that issue of Exotic to all four members. You blew it, you melancholic mancs! You could’ve had it all! Anyone at a Morrissey show wishes they were at a Smiths show, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Johnny Marr is an era-defining guitarist, but I guarantee that anyone seeing his shows now wishes Morrissey was singing over those transcendent riffs. If only Andy hadn't died and everyone had gotten over their shit, this band could’ve put Oasis’s tour to shame.
Highly unlikely this will ever happen, what with the marriage dissolution due to infidelity. I wouldn't blame Kim for never wanting to be in the same room as Thurston. Still…if they could just see it as a business relationship. And a hell of a lucrative one! Imagine the demand for the OG independent rock band, especially one where everyone is still alive? To be absolutely clear, I loved Kim Gordon's latest solo album, and I heard her live show was phenomenal. However, I think I, and a lot of other people in the world, would pay top dollar for a chance to see Sonic Youth live (especially for the first time, for all the youngins just getting into them). Speaking of era-defining guitar, name any current guitar-based group that doesn't have a stylistic thread that leads back to this band. The children yearn for noisy offset guitars!
Jack White seems to be doing just fine on his own. He is playing arenas (not necessarily selling them out, but he's playing them). He's still an era-defining guitarist and continues to churn out riffage that everyone loves. He also rebranded himself as the "blue guy," rather than the “red and white guy,” so kudos for really making an effort to make a clean break from the past. Still, look at his setlists. He closes pretty much every show with “Seven Nation Army.” He knows why everyone is at those shows. Can you imagine the global splash it would make if he could coax Meg out of her fortress of solitude? Leaving money on the table, if you ask me.
Okay, this one I shoehorned in since New Order very much is not broken up, and you can also see Hooky play New Order and Joy Division songs and smaller venues pretty much year-round. But it's just not the same. I've seen both. New Order was incredible, but Hooky's absence was glaring. The dynamic isn't the same without his bratty, punky flavor. And Hooky does fantastic renditions of both bands' catalogue, but again, it’s just an interpretation. Not the real thing. Obviously, Joy Division will never again exist, but New Order does, with all four members still alive. For the love of upstaging Oasis, kiss and make up, and get out there to show who rules the rock kingdom.
One final ask to these four salty, old bastards. I requested this reunion in a previous issue, and I'm requesting it again, damnit. They're all alive. They haven't toured since 1983 and haven't performed as a group since a one-off in 2003. They are still one of the most influential rock bands of all time. Unlike some of the older dinosaurs, you can still hear their influence in newer acts. They’re in their 70s, but I know they can still perform. I saw Jerry Harrison perform the Remain in Light set a few years ago. I’ve seen footage of David Byrne. I assume Chris and Tina haven’t forgotten how to play. The time is now. We know they can stand each other enough to be in the same room together. Now they just need to pick up them sticks.
