Japan-O-Mania
We, as Americans, fairly universally like Japan. We are so similar, but so different at the same time. They tend to be almost compulsorily polite, whereas we tend to be more blunt, and so forth. So, I am going to describe the traits and culture we have shared with them since the '40s, because, ya know, the Great Squabble and Nuking Affair. We are friends now, and share with one another. What did we share? Let us explore.
Baseball
We gave that one to them. Our pastoral game of outdoor fun got the rules translated and sent to Japan. They got it, started playing it, and if you think the crowds at our Major League games get nuts, watch a Japanese ball game. The crowd disregards their typical politeness for absolute ball-madness. They are such fans of baseball that we not only pick up some of their players now and then, but our crowds go wild for them, too. They are such fans that they have made a lot of video games about baseball, including the notorious beat-em-up Ninja Baseball Bat Man. The fans of the Tokyo Giants are said to be the most animated of them all.
Sushi
They gave this one to us. Back when I was a kid, I figured it was gross…because if the Ninja Turtles said it was gross, I figured it was. I was wrong. My parents took me to sushi when I was ten. "I don't want to eat this." "You'll never know if you don't like something if you don't try it first." I ate a sushi roll, and my life was changed. It was delicious. Now, it's pretty standard food in the USA. Ya go on a date… "Sushi?" "Yes!" You go to the fancy place. Your author personally likes the ones that are casual and have the little conveyor that moves them around. That thing might as well have a chute that goes right into my mouth. Also, sushi date beats coffee date any day of the week.
Ninjas
They gave us this, along with the Chinese chop-socky movies which were similar, but we are talking Japan. If you lived through the '80s or '90s, you know what a thing this was. Ninja this, ninja that; there were so many flavors of ninja movies it was like going to Baskin-Robbins and not knowing what to pick. Since we in the West have been introduced to the concept, we could not get enough. I wrote a prior article about the ninja craze, so I'm speaking more on the cultural impact than the history.
Cowboys
Now, we gave them this, and much like ninjas, they started doing their own cowboy stuff. In the West, we call lonely guys obsessed with Japanese culture "weeaboos," but in Japan, they have the opposite. They dress up like cowboys and do cowboy stuff, or try to. Ever see a slim Japanese man try to rope a cow? Well, you certainly can. Loneliness factor is unknown.
Military
Japan is not, by treaty, allowed to raise an army. They have a defense force, but it is not a force in readiness. Purely defensive, in case, say, North Korea starts rattling sabers.
Last time I was in Tokyo, North Korea was threatening to nuke Japan. Why? No idea. My friends were very concerned. I said to them, "By the rules set by our treaty, you don't get an army." "Yes." "But by the terms of that same treaty, if someone attacks you, they will be utterly destroyed by the US military." "They said that?" "Look it up. If we have purpose and cause, we can obliterate your enemies with ANY MEANS NECESSARY." "You don't mean..." "Oh yes we do. You fuck with Japan, you will feel the wrath of the world's mightiest military! Which I guess we are." They kind of paused. "We got your back, brothers." That is one of the few times I talked politics. Mostly we all got drunk after work.
Work Etiquette
We have different work ethics between nations. The Japanese will work hard as fuck until the day is done. Americans, well, we will take breaks when we get them and fuck around if there are no clients. Nerf gun wars, stress ball fights. The Japanese do none of that. However, when work is done, we are off to the bar. We take the stops on the train, two over, "best bar in Tokyo!" Okay, what am I in for? Well, apparently a whole pile of tiny squids, roasted soybeans, and a brick—and I mean a brick—of tofu with some sauce on it, and giant mugs—not glasses—of beer; I am talking .75 liters, or in freedom units, a shitload. Don't these people have families? Don't care, drinking time. So we all eat up, and we all get full, and return tomorrow to the office in suit and tie. Japan, I have questions about you, but I will still drink your beer. Also, this is where I was introduced to Shochu. What is that, you may ask? It is a weird wine-sorta drink, made from wheat, barley, sweet potatoes, and sugar. Tastes kinda like sweet potato vodka. You can get it in the US, but it commands a pretty penny.
Growing Up
It is common in Japan for many to live at their childhood home for many years after coming of age. It is one of their customs. You get grandma and grandpa, son and wife, and little kids all in the same house. In the USA, it's basically "you're 18, you're out the door," as I was. They value family so much it is like "It's okay, Hiro, thank you for helping us." So, it is not a stigma to be 30 and living with your parents, well... so long as you are helping and not mooching.
Hikikomori
Okay, this is a weird one. Hikikomori (he-kee-ko-more-ee, for the curious) is a lifestyle where you stay inside as much as you can and get all your food and products for living from delivery services, usually in a small apartment or dwelling, and basically watch anime and play video games all day. Yes, we do that in the USA too, but this is a whole deal over there. Not sure if they gave this one to us, or us to them, as I know a lot of Americans who lead a similar lifestyle; we just do not really have a specific word for it. Shut-in?
MMA
Japan did not invent MMA, per se. It has roots dating back to ancient Greece's sport of Pankration, which basically meant "okay, two naked men beat the shit out of one another until one can't move." “Hit him in the nuts, Demetrios!” Then, Brazil, in the 1920s, introduced Vale Tudo, which primarily focused on their crazy dancing jiu-jitsu, but it was not internationally popular. In the '70s and '80s, Japan popularized what they called "shoot fighting," and they did make it popular because it was wild, and wild was what the audience wanted. It was quite literally no-holds-barred. People around the world caught on and started trying to do the same thing. This laid the foundation for the UFC and modern MMA contests. So, I'll give Japan this one, just for making the world love watching people beating each other, freestyle.
Sumo
Sumo did not catch on internationally, but they love it. Sumo wrestlers are regarded as top athletes. Here, if we wanna watch two fat dudes slam into one another, we just go to Waffle House after midnight.
In conclusion, with our Japanese friends, it's give and get—we got stuff, they got stuff, and we both love it all. If you ever get a chance, head over there; if not, eat some sushi and watch a Japanese baseball game on YouTube.
Enjoy international relations,
-Wombstretcha
Wombstretcha the Magnificent is not a weeaboo, hikikomori, or Japanese cowboy (I am pretty sure), but is a mustard enthusiast, writer, and semi-retired rapper from Portland, OR. He can be found at his website, wombstretcha.com, on X as @wombstretcha503, and on MeWe (yay!) and Facebook (boo!) as "Wombstretcha the Magnificent."
