"Can we, as a country, all
: October 2002: Big
Black Dick & Big Fat Chicks
There's an unusually tropical-scented carnival atmosphere
tonight at the Galaxy bar on East Burnside. One could
say there's an almost hickory-smoked scent in the air.
Coming alive at the tables and on the dance floor, the
Mystery Smell rises. You can almost taste the smell. You
can almost feel the smell coating your skin. It's the
smell of anticipation. The smell arises from women waiting
with eager faces...chubby rosebud cheeks aglow with the
same sort of rabid lust with which they'd greet a mile-long
buffet table. These chubby faces are salivating perhaps,
making them appear slovenly, but these faces are eager
just the same.
white faces eager for fat black cocks.
the monthly meeting of a group that calls itself Portland
Black Men 4 Sexy BBW's. Founded on the Internet by an
engaging Portland black man named James who bears a faint
resemblance to children's TV favorite "Urkel," the group
is designed to bring the city's black men and its Big
Beautiful Women, almost all of whom seem to be Caucasian,
men who love fat chicks...fat chicks who love black men.
Get ready for some fireworks, people!
the BBWs, who seem to outnumber the black men by a ratio
of about a half-dozen to one, press themselves together
and create a safe ocean of white fat, an ocean that yearns
for the sweet taste of acceptance. They're so excited,
they can almost crawl out of their skin, but they'd have
to crawl out of a shitload of fat first. They've herded
themselves here to gorge on cheap eats and rotgut wine
now...and to stuff their hogjowls with fat black cocks
a key element is missing--where the heck are the rest
of the Negroes? On all the websites, restless gangs of
half-pint, lazy-eyed jungle savages cast their bloodthirsty
gaze upon women so big, they have two zip codes. Women
so big, their nightgowns are the size of circus tents.
Women so big, their arms are as thick and majestic as
the mighty sequoia. The website stands as stark, frightening
evidence of the relentless sexual potency of the male
buck Negro, whose obese, ivory-colored female prey serve
as Mulatto Factories, further burdening our legal and
observe with three others the mating rituals of fat chicks
and Negroes. In the spirit of Jane Goodall, I try not
to disturb the natural habitat of the Negroes, nor the
watched in awe as a stately fat chick communicated across
the bar with mating calls so high-pitched, they couldn't
be heard by real, normal, white people. We gasped as we
saw the she-beasts open their mouths, only to have small
fly in to clean their teeth. We shuddered in fear as
monsters roared and growled over their cheese fries.
As the night
went on, the bar grew darker both in its lighting scheme
quotient of lustful Afro-American males. Pesky, shifty,
oily Negro gents trickled in, using their hard-earned
"street wisdom" to seduce and beguile these legions
of docile fat white chicks. These girls would squeal
with excitement when one of those little dark rascals
latched onto them and pretended they were interested
in more than sticking their big hard black wonguses
BBWs sang empowering songs about lower taxes and
lesbian marriage. They swayed their huge udders to classic
love ballads. In a potentially dangerous attempt to
get a better view, I wheedled my way within the very
herd itself as it shifted and sweated and snorted on
the dance floor, causing incalculable trauma to the
was as if I was surrounded by giant licorice sticks
and matzo balls. It was really fuckin' cool.
could see a sadness in the girls' eyes, a sadness rendered
more poignant when one pondered the cold brown sex-driven
lifelessness in the eyes of the black men, these horsecocked,
ill-tempered, criminally prone studs who wasted no effort
and manipulating the pathetic, guilt-ridden, self-loathing
she-oxen. Sadly, these dames will be left with little
more than a sore asshole, stained sheets, a fake phone
number, and the eternal shame for you and your race
because you chose to sell it out for a few cheap thrills
and a few more inches.
saw for myself a display of unbridled carnality that
made me shudder with concern for ALL fat chicks. I mean,
c'mon, white man, rise to the moment! If any of you
peckerwoods had read my prior article about how to pick
up fat chicks in bars, these shameful racial atrocities
wouldn't be occurring. Why do you suppose these men,
only one step removed from the jungles, victimize white
women almost exclusively? Some say it's a primal desire
of Negroes to
display their obese wives as evidence of prosperity
and the ability to provide for a clan.
guys have been fucking your fat primate wives for thousands
of years before whitey ever walked out of the caves.
And now you're goin' after MY fat primate wife. What's
up with that?
real reason that black guys prey on white chicks is
because no black chick would put up with their shit.
No self-respecting Negress would stand for dat mess.
only one reason for this shocking trend of big black
dicks and fat white chicks:
say that in every woman, there's a little girl. In some
of them, there are MANY little girls. Some of these
little girls crave the guy who plays the daddy role;
some of them just want a big black jelly roll.
this is my offer. This is my solution. I'm gonna raise
funds, raise public consciousness, and overall just
get my shit together. Maybe I'll use the check I get
from Exotic as seed money for my bold new
project. I'm gonna throw a gigantic pizza feed which
is open to WHITES ONLY with the hopes of circumventing
this horrific interracial trend. The offer of free pizza
will draw all the fat white chicks in town hoping to
stuff hot, cheese-laden Italian treats down their throats.
Under threat of punishment should they refuse, we will
then arrange forced marriages between them and suitable
white male candidates, whereby these couples will produce
numerous beautiful white sons and daughters of the Only
Pure Race God Has Ever Created.
need to stop the mud flow before we all drown, all ye
brave white men! All ye bold, brave, saucy, sexy, spicy
white mateys o' mine! All you well-hung Aryan studs
swingin' your long white anchors around in the locker
room when you think I ain't lookin'! Start sieg-hieling
with those bold Teutonic tools of yours, pretty-boys!
always, lesbians would be forbidden from existing in
our pure new all-white Portland singles scene. No free
pizza for women whose white wombs remain barren! Crank
out those babies, white ladies!
you're really straying from the
Sorry. They told me in my anger-management class that
I was a racist. And maybe I am. Maybe they should dig
a hole in the center of the earth and throw all the
bad people like me in it. Maybe there's no room for
me on this planet, what with all the fat white chicks
and black dicks willing to stick 'em like the pigs they
are. Maybe I don't want to live on a planet that's polluted
like that. Maybe our precious seed is in jeopardy. Maybe
the editor already sold out his race when he became
bewitched by that Jewish chick.
this is getting ridiculous. I don't think we're getting
a feel for the actual event, which is what the
article was originally intended to be all about. Suddenly
you come out of nowhere spewing vile racist ideology,
and you don't expect me to get upset? I mean, I realize
the problem is a BIG problem, too, but we gotta keep
this shit quiet, or people are gonna wanna hurt us.
I understand, 'wood. We gotta keep this shit underground
and on the convict tip. Overall, it was a cool night,
and somebody told me that a lot of fat white chicks
and a cluster of big black dicks went over to somebody's
house for an after-hours orgy. And I swear it doesn't
bother me. The spirits of my ancestors will cleanse
the filth soon enough.
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