It's true. Something about them is formulaic. But
punk rock IS formulaic. Something about them lacks
soul... but who needs soul in their punk rock'n'roll?
Something about them is CONTRIVED. SO FUCKIN' WHAT?
But... something about them just doesn't quite...
rock. They're like a cartoon diorama band. Their songs
are technically great--"Are you on the
inside
or the outside of your) PANTS" is an instant strip
club classic. Yet something in the delivery is too
mechanical. But MAN I would still like to make out
with the lead singer. He looks like Prince!! Moves
like him too. And anything that is in any way Prince
is so purrrrr.
So I had my chance last month and I blew it. The
Makers will never make out with me because, as I
learned during the interview, it is NOT COOL to
impugn their veracity, vitality, virility. Very
very uncool. And here I go doing it again. But let
me tell you what he was wearing--[bikini briefs]--a
gorgeous velvet blazer (by Grannie Takes a Trip)
embroidered with orange cacti and purple tigers
and tiny green stars and other Lucky Charms that
was rumored to have been Jimi Hendrix's. He bought
it for $17 at a thrift store of course. I would
love to see my pink leather jacket on top of that
blazer on his floor but it'll never happen. Not
now. Not after this.
VIVA:
You all have such fabulous outfits! What town do
you think has the most fabulous outfits in the United
States? Where do you do most of your shopping?
Makers:
Thrift stores. Wisconsin's got great ones. Denver.
VIVA:
What were you guys wearing back in 1991 when you
started? Did you kinda do the Ramones-Buzzcocks-Who
thing, like most 15-year garage punk veterans?
Makers:
We wore the same thing. If anything we had more
of a uniform then, more mod--jackets and stuff.
And we got a lot of shit for it back in the grunge
era in Spokane. Everyone was in like t-shirts, cut-offs...
then we would play and we'd get bottles thrown at
us and fights would break out...
VIVA:
Like Quadrophenia? 
Makers:
...yeah...we were wearing suits... we were guys
who actually had hairdos. That was what people focused
on the most. Our music aside, people would just
check us to see what we were wearing and our hair
and then they would decide whether or not they liked
us.
VIVA:
When did you move to Seattle?
Makers:
Six years ago.
Makers:
Of course it gets easier cuz we know each other so
well. It's like family... you don't
have
to call your brothers and sisters every week and
you're still in love, you know? Same with us. If
we disbanded and got back together in ten years,
we'd still be able to, you know, rock the house.
VIVA:
Do you see yourselves as lifers? Or is it a year
to year if?
Makers:
Well I'm sure we've all contemplated like, you know,
giving it up...
VIVA:
Med school?
Makers:
Well, maybe not that, but, you know, Hair Academy...
but 
the
bottom line is we'd all be doing it in one form
or another; right now we're onstage, but if we weren't
onstage, we'd still be out there, making music and
getting together.
VIVA:
Well, it's amazing that you've been doing this for
thirteen years. Garage rock bands can only remain
interesting for two years tops, and you've managed
to reinvent yourselves enough to still keep it fresh.
Like what are the White Stripes gonna do? They're
already adding bloated orchestrations to their stuff.
Thirteen years! And you just like three years ago
snagged me. I always thought the Makers were kinda
histrionic, kinda cliché almost... but then
Rock Star God came out and now I strip to
you guys all the time! [noticeable distress and
murderous aggression at the table] I mean.... maybe
it's a Portland thing, but the Makers were always
very ambitious, very cohesive, and that just wasn't
ok. There's this mentality
in the Northwest where ambition is NOT OK and you
guys were too like "Fame!" Like when I saw
you open for Mudhoney and...
Makers:
We never opened for Mudhoney.
VIVA:
OK. Well, Guitar Wolf opened for Mudhoney but it
was kinda a lackluster show and two years later
it just completely caught fire and THAT IS WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT! There's a lot of
resistance
to you in Portland cuz you represent this kinda
White Stripes [murderous aggression increases dramatically]
....uh.... fundamentalism.... uh... but you're much
better than that! But there's still this chip on
the shoulder.
Makers:
Maybe when we started we were kinda like that, but
that was ten years ago.
VIVA:
Exactly! You've really moved past that. I always
dance to "Are you on the inside or the outside of
your) PANTS," which is a total stripper anthem,
and "Open Your Eyes." Anyway they're both fabulous
stripper songs that the White Stripes could never
write. So could you please stop this murderous aggression
cuz I didn't like you the first time I saw you?
You just weren't cottoning to this grunge Northwest
philosophy that dictates you fall apart onstage
every night.
Makers:
When actually we were falling apart on stage every
night... You're wrong. You're thinking of somebody
else, because you are so wrong.
VIVA:
Well, I'll take that into consideration, but I remain
your champion in Portland...amongst all the garage
bands who are like "cluck cluck cluck" because of
your slickness and ambition--or what comes across
as such--
Makers:
You're just WRONG. I don't know what the fuck you're
talking about.
VIVA:
OK, fine, I'm wrong. FOR THE FIRST TIME. Next question!
Are you guys single or what?
Makers:
[One married, one attached, THREE SINGLE AND READY
TO MINGLE. Including the LEAD SINGER.]
VIVA:
What's sexy about Seattle?
Makers:
Hard one! The Space Needle is always erect.
VIVA:
What's the sexiest song ever?
Makers:
The Ghostbusters' theme. T Rex "20th Century
Boy." The Cramps. Freddie Mercury.
VIVA:
What is the sexiest band ever?
Makers:
The Makers. You'd be hard pressed to find a band
sexier than the
Makers
cuz if you did we'd beat them up.
VIVA:
What's the sexiest thing you've ever seen onstage?
Makers:
Poison Ivy's stage stance is the sexiest. And Jennifer
from Royal Trux.
VIVA:
Oh God yes! And she's such a car wreck, too. But
that is one car you wanna be IN!
Makers:
Yeah, you know she stinks, you know she's a lot
of things you just don't want, but something about
her is so sexual. It has a lot to do with the music,
too. It's very very very dirty.
VIVA:
What's the sexiest song/ band of the last two years?
Makers:
[groaning] That's hard. ZZ Top? The View. Royal
Trux. RYAN ADAMS.
VIVA:
Ryan Adams is sexy. Why? He's a snotty asshole.
Makers:
He's very sensitive. He's very masculine. People
say that 
on
a personal level he's very abrasive, but he puts
so much into his music that you would have to be.
For modern music, he sacrifices a lot more than
most people. That's something we can relate to.
He writes a lot of pop songs and ballads and reaches
this level of understanding with the Makers that
most bands can't, ya know? There's depth there that
we try, with every album, to get. The sentiment
is very much the same. And very sexy. He makes a
denim jacket very hot.
VIVA:
It's honesty and it's depth and that's fuckin' rare.
What's sexy about the White Stripes?
Makers:
Eew!! Nothing. I think what's sexy about them is
that in a year they won't be around.
VIVA:
What's the one record that every girl should own....
like if you went to her house and she didn't have
it, you would be like, "I'm not fucking her."
Makers:
Any album by the Faces. No Way Out by the
Chocolate Watchband. The Beatles. Strawberry Alarm
Clock.
VIVA:
Would you rather go bowhunting with Ted Nugent or
drink til you puke with Lemmy Kilmister?
Makers:
I'd actually pick Ted Nugent....I'd go bowhunting
for Ted Nugent.
VIVA:
What color panties are you wearing and how long
have you been wearing them?
Makers:
[Usual rock star panoply of NONE, STRIPED BIKINI,
NO COMMENT and BLACK BOXER BRIEFS.]
