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"Can we, as a country, all agree

xmag.com : November 2003: Sex Toys

Everybody likes toys. Even though we've graduated from Fisher Price and Mattel to Doc Johnson and California Exotics, we still need to replenish our toy boxes. It may seem like you've tried all the vibrators and anal beads and tasted more lube flavors than Baskin Robbins ice cream, but there's always something new to put on your wish list. And just like at Toys R Us, don't forget the batteries!

Doc Johnson's I-VIBE RABBIT leads the pack, blending beauty and power just like CEO Barbie. At the flick of a switch one can change the speed of the vibration and/or mix and match its functions. The control panel is reminiscent of a digital stereo's equalizer bars. As a girl's best friend this delectable diddler, made of soft plastic similar to a gummy bear, is sculpted well enough to look and feel like an actual penis. Just below the shaft is a window revealing pearls that create delicious friction while the Rabbit vibrates, multiplying the sexual sensation. At the base of the shaft are lovely little sculpted flowers.

* Vaginal and anal stimulators vibrate

* Shaft rotates front to back or side to side

* Multiple speeds

* Available in blue, green, orange, red and aqua

* Quiet enough for the back aisles of a library

* Retails for $79.95

* 4 AA batteries

 

Pipedream Products' MINI-MITE is a different kind of vibrator, which you'll affectionately name your Portable Pleaser. Transportable as a bag of jacks, this clit pleaser is small and slender enough to fit in your favorite little black purse. Five attachments fit easily atop the vibrating device--the nipple enlarger, anal exciter, penis arouser and clit stimulator.

* 4" long, about 1" in diameter

* One speed fits all

* Available in red, purple, green, orange and blue

* Too noisy for church

* Retails for $16.99

* 1 AA battery

Pipedream Products' MICRO MASSAGER fits like a tiny tampon in the hand and feels like a vibrating tongue between your most sensitive crevices. Basically it's a smaller, more aerodynamic version of the Mini-Mite.

* 2" long, 1" in diameter

* Available in pink or iridescent

* Quiet enough for a busy restaurant

* Retails for $18.99

* 1.5 V battery (included)

 

Moving behind the scenes to anal beads, there are two words of advice: material and retrieval. Find strands with an end ring for easier insertion and retrieval. Doc Johnson's may be the prime example. The smallest bead plunges the deepest, and the largest bead is one inch in diameter and is directly next to the retrieval ring.

* 12" long

* Ten graduated beads

* A ring at the retrieval end makes pleasure one delicious pluck

* Retails for $6.99

* No batteries

 

Also try the MICRO PLEASURIZER/VIBRATING ANAL BEADS by Pipedream Products. Barring overuse, this combo will never become boring. It's a micro massager and a flexible, detachable strand of silicone anal beads.

* Five graduated beads

* Lavender

* Retails for $17.95

* 1.5 V battery included

 

Now let's get a little kinky with something tantamount to Twister: ben wa balls. The key to this toy is movement. Kinetic movement, such as walking or jumping, provides the stimulation needed internally to reach peak pleasure. GOLD BALLS by Golden Triangle are two gold vibrating balls, conveniently linked by a string which allows for handy retrieval. Doc Johnson makes strands with two, three, or four balls, available in black, red, blue and white latex. Swedish Erotica makes a strand of five latex-coated beads connected by a nylon string. Once again, the easy-retrieval string cannot be overemphasized.

* Balls are 1" in diameter

* Retail prices range from $6 to $32

* No batteries required

 

Feeling artistic? Break out the Play Doh of sex toys: the PLEASURE SWING by Whip Smart. This swing's possibilities end when your imagination does. With its inherent suspension abilities, the swing allows couples to do things otherwise cumbersome on furniture, floors, walls, and other immobile objects. It lends flexibility to people who aren't otherwise limber. One favorite activity is bouncing vertically onto an insertable sex toy suctioned to the floor beneath the swing.

* Secure to a ceiling stud within clear distance of walls/doors (installation equipment included)

* Two leopard-
print cushion-y seats

* Superb for intercourse, oral sex and masturbation while reclining, kneeling, sitting and swinging

* Stirrups effortlessly support ankles horizontally and
vertically

* Back- and butt-supports ensure comfort

* Supports up to 400 pounds

* Swings 360 degrees

* Retails for $149.95

 

Somewhere between Mr. Potato Head and a Lego set, the LIBERATOR is a mix-and-match collection of furniture. Washable blue velvet cloth covers foam wedges, blocks and ramps. Place the smaller, pillow-like wedge over the large wedge for deep penetration; place the wedges atop the stage for incredible back door action; use the cube atop the stage for terrific all-fours action. All arrangements revamp traditional positions and facilitate imaginative positions.

* Pieces come with position guides and discreet storage covers

* Especially helpful for larger people

* Eases lovemaking for pregnant and older couples

* Wedge retails for $65-80 (two sizes)

* Ramp retails for $130-180 (five sizes)

* Stage retails for $130-160 (three sizes)

* Cube retails for $100 (one size)

* Buy multiple pieces at discounted prices

 

Men would do well to remember the old adage "don't ask what you don't want to know." This is certainly true when it comes to a new girlfriend's sex toy use. When a man asks if we have a vibrator or if we enjoy sex toys, what response does he really want? The question is a double-edged sword, guaranteed to intimidate and/or intrigue with a single word.

"How often do you use it?"

We typically respond with a one-liner, refusing to elaborate. We know the images running through his mind. He's silent for a moment, a smile delicately curling his mouth. Then his mood changes and he looks away. A shadow, maybe doubt, crosses his face.

"Would you ever prefer your vibrator over me?"

"No," we say, adding humorously, "Unless you've been a complete jackass, I do not privilege my vibrator over you."

But what is it about toys that we like, sometimes even post coitus?

"If a woman has a problem orgasming, her partner should encourage using these things. Women aren't like men--we can't always have an orgasm like that," says Heather Schmucker, who works in an adult toy shop in Sarasota, Florida, snapping her fingers. She offers another reason for a man to support his girl's affinity for toys--beside the obvious fact that they're fun for couples to explore. "If your man's always traveling I'd strongly encourage him to buy you something. Having a sex toy keeps women less likely to stray. See, we have needs, too, and if they aren't being fulfilled, we can stray like a man."

But no, she says, a vibrator could never replace a man. "It's not the embrace of a man, the throb, the warmth of a man. Men don't need to feel threatened."

Eve Oak of Troy, Ohio, agrees. She could certainly have used a toy to prevent infidelity when her boyfriend moved to another country. "But when we first started dating a few years before that, he was really intimidated by my Purple Friend and I got rid of it for him. Well, I learned my lesson--and so did he--after that." Now, she says, she doesn't have the intercontinental love affair but she does have a drawer full of toys.

Gary Wilham of Chicago, who's been married for about 20 years, enjoys buying toys for his wife and using them with her. His suggestion is somewhat unconventional for the field of adult toys: sexy high heels. "Every woman should have a pair of heels with no scuff marks on the bottom," he says. "These shoes should never leave the bedroom." His other recommendation: glass dildos, such as the beautiful, artistic, hand-blown toys by Phallix (www.phallixglass.com).

Heather suggests using strap-ons. "There's nothing wrong with guys using a strap-on, (especially if) he's not lasting long enough for her. I recommend he get one close to his own size though if he doesn't want to intimidate or 'overdo' her." (Check out some strap-ons at www.safesexmall.com.)

And don't forget: fresh, clean bananas and cucumbers never go out of style. One word of advice regarding cucumbers: smooth out the bumps before devouring! Yum.

 

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