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xmag.com : January 2004: The J-Mack Report

First of all, I would like to thank every single reader that has ever checked out my monthly articles. It was one year ago that I started writing for Exotic Magazine and it's been my pleasure to bring it to you uncut with no chase. Happy New Year's to all of you, and let's keep it crackin' in 2004. We must not tolerate any bustas, haters, salt droppers, or backstabbas. Even though they dwell amongst us, they have no business in our business. Feel Me?

This year the Mack is about to do some major shit. The local music scene will never be the same! I can't believe how many corny catz are on the air disrespecting our radio waves wit' that bullshit! In this anniversary article, I'll be letting you know about my new TV Show that's currently in production. Plus, I'll give you the latest scoop on whatz crackin' locally. You know I gotta flash back on last year as well...


First Up--Readers Choice Awards


These awards are based upon the responses I've received from you, the readers. Here are your top choices for 2003:

You Got Clowned Award goes to "The Hater of Month." To read this column, go to www.xmag.com and click on archives, September 2003. Many of my readers found this particular article quite amusing. I was pissed off when I wrote it, but me and that cat have since squashed thangz...

The Oh Hell No! Award goes to Ms. Lumpitty Bumpitty April 2003. [pictured at left] As you can see this chick has a BIG PROBLEM!

Big Ups to all the Honeys of the Month. Keep it crackin'! You're the sweetest.


Next Up--$hort Dogg Chases Exotica Manager


Whaaat? That's exactly what I said when I heard the news. The Roseland Theater is where the Too $hort concert took place and it was on and crackin'. Big ups to Dollars and Spence (the Promoters) for letting me perform some of my new jointz at the show.

The after party at Club Exotica was jammed packed from the windows to the walls and Too $hort appeared to be having a good time in the VIP room. He was shakin' hands wit' everybody and kickin it real big. Too $hort was even nice enough to take a little time out and explain to a young lady about his true devotion and dedication to his Pimpin'. No matter how many records he sells, he's still "Married to the Game" and ain't a damn thang changed.

Apparently after a few cocktails, $hort Dogg added another "Freaky Tail" to his list of many. One of the bouncers heard a female moaning in one of the stalls inside the Men's Restroom. He looked underneath and saw some high-heeled shoes. Behind those shoes he saw some men's shoes. $hort Dogg was up in there gettin' it doggy style in the stall! That's some wild shit man! After the party was over, there was a discrepancy as to who was going to pay Too $hort for his appearance at the after-party. The promoters had left, the club was closing and Too $heezy hadn't got his bread yet. Ahhhh Shit! He began making demands to Exotica's manager to break him off his chips, since his name was up on the billboard outside. After being told that they weren't about to pay him jack diddly squat, the Bay Area rapper suddenly lost his motha-fuckin' mind and ran after the club's manager. DAMN! Where's the camcorder? Pass the popcorn! Witnesses said it was some of the funniest shit they've ever seen in life. $hort Dogg was quickly restrained by the entire security team. When they came to work that night, I bet that none of them expected to be Dog Catchers. George Clinton is probably real proud of ya'll. After a brief scuffle, Too $hort was told to leave the club. He got some coochie but didn't get his loochie! Hopefully the promoters that brought him gave him his cheese. Good show anyway man, and stay out them bathrooms!


Whatz Crackin' TV


That's right ya'll! I'm currently in production with a new TV show that will give you a visual of the things that I write about and the places I kick it at. This new show will feature the Hottest Clubs, Local & National Artists, Street News, and a special segment called "Real Talk." The Launch date is set for March 2004. Make sure to peep it!


J.Macks Super Bowl Party


It's taking place at Club Exotica International on Super Bowl Sunday. Live performances at halftime by Yours Truly along with my new band. Were bringing the funk back baby! Spread the word!

If you would like to inform about someone that you think should be the Honey of the Month, holla at me with the 411.

Hit me up at whatzcrackin_J@hotmail.com

Until next month Keep It Crackin'!!!


One Love,









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