"Can we, as a country, all
: January 2004: The
of all, I would like to thank every
single reader that has ever checked
out my monthly articles. It was
one year ago that I started writing
for Exotic Magazine and it's
been my pleasure to bring it to
you uncut with no chase. Happy New
Year's to all of you, and let's
keep it crackin' in 2004. We must
not tolerate any bustas, haters,
salt droppers, or backstabbas. Even
though they dwell amongst us, they
have no business in our business.
This year the Mack is about to do
some major shit. The local music
scene will never be the same! I
can't believe how many corny catz
are on the air disrespecting our
radio waves wit' that bullshit!
In this anniversary article, I'll
be letting you know about my new
TV Show that's currently in production.
Plus, I'll give you the latest scoop
on whatz crackin' locally. You know
I gotta flash back on last year
Up--Readers Choice Awards
awards are based upon the responses
I've received from you, the readers.
Here are your top choices for 2003:
You Got Clowned Award goes to
"The Hater of Month." To read this
column, go to www.xmag.com
and click on archives, September
2003. Many of my readers found this
particular article quite amusing.
I was pissed off when I wrote it,
but me and that cat have since squashed
The Oh Hell No! Award goes
to Ms. Lumpitty Bumpitty April 2003.
[pictured at left] As you
can see this chick has a BIG PROBLEM!
Big Ups to all the Honeys of the
Month. Keep it crackin'! You're
Up--$hort Dogg Chases Exotica Manager
That's exactly what I said when
I heard the news. The Roseland Theater
is where the Too $hort concert took
place and it was on and crackin'.
Big ups to Dollars and Spence (the
Promoters) for letting me perform
some of my new jointz at the show.
The after party at Club Exotica
was jammed packed from the windows
to the walls and Too $hort appeared
to be having a good time in the
VIP room. He was shakin' hands wit'
everybody and kickin it real big.
Too $hort was even nice enough to
take a little time out and explain
to a young lady about his true devotion
and dedication to his Pimpin'. No
matter how many records he sells,
he's still "Married to the Game"
and ain't a damn thang changed.
Apparently after a few cocktails,
$hort Dogg added another "Freaky
Tail" to his list of many. One of
the bouncers heard a female moaning
in one of the stalls inside the
Men's Restroom. He looked underneath
and saw some high-heeled shoes.
Behind those shoes he saw some men's
shoes. $hort Dogg was up in there
gettin' it doggy style in the stall!
That's some wild shit man! After
the party was over, there was a
discrepancy as to who was going
to pay Too $hort for his appearance
at the after-party. The promoters
had left, the club was closing and
Too $heezy hadn't got his bread
yet. Ahhhh Shit! He began making
demands to Exotica's manager to
break him off his chips, since his
name was up on the billboard outside.
After being told that they weren't
about to pay him jack diddly squat,
the Bay Area rapper suddenly lost
his motha-fuckin' mind and ran after
the club's manager. DAMN! Where's
the camcorder? Pass the popcorn!
Witnesses said it was some of the
funniest shit they've ever seen
in life. $hort Dogg was quickly
restrained by the entire security
team. When they came to work that
night, I bet that none of them expected
to be Dog Catchers. George Clinton
is probably real proud of ya'll.
After a brief scuffle, Too $hort
was told to leave the club. He got
some coochie but didn't get his
loochie! Hopefully the promoters
that brought him gave him his cheese.
Good show anyway man, and stay out
right ya'll! I'm currently in
production with a new TV show
that will give you a visual of
the things that I write about
and the places I kick it at. This
new show will feature the Hottest
Clubs, Local & National Artists,
Street News, and a special segment
called "Real Talk." The Launch
date is set for March 2004. Make
sure to peep it!
taking place at Club Exotica International
on Super Bowl Sunday. Live performances
at halftime by Yours Truly along
with my new band. Were bringing
the funk back baby! Spread the
you would like to inform about
someone that you think should
be the Honey of the Month, holla
at me with the 411.
me up at whatzcrackin_J@hotmail.com
Until next month Keep It Crackin'!!!
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