"Can we, as a country, all
: January 2004: Yummy
A female friend of mine recently described the
taste of a guy's semen as "salty oysters in
cream." The first time I actually swallowed
the stuff myself (and didn't shrewdly dodge
the inevitable as I'd previously always done),
I gagged like hell and ran off to gargle on
Pepsi, leaving my outstretched partner high
and dry. But the bitter-tasting truth is, if
you put a guy's penis in your mouth with the
intention of giving him pleasure, the odds are
pretty good that he is going to come--in or
near your mouth. Somewhere between thinking
you might want to go down on him and his climax,
you're going to have to decide whether you are
comfortable with him coming in your mouth. It's
a tricky situation: you're not averse to the
idea of giving him the ultimate in arousal but
going that extra mile extracts a bitter price.
So what CAN a girl do when she is enthusiastically
up for full fellatio but loathes that brine
flavoured love juice?
to porn by-lines, we chicks are simply gagging
to swallow his jizz. Considering that one of
the sure fire ways to make yourself vomit is
to drink salted water, is it any wonder that
we gag when it comes down to it? That is exactly
what we receive each time our men take aim in
our mouths. Male ejaculate measures in at an
alkaline pH of 8 (more alkaline than saliva,
tears, or sweat), approximately the same pH
as an egg white. Fortunately for everyone, there
are a couple of things a guy can do to make
sure his come both smells and tastes good.
Blue, sex educator and author of a fistful of
best-selling sex books including The Ultimate
Guide to Fellatio (2002), tells us more.
"Guys should avoid eating strong tasting substances
such as asparagus, beets, coffee and garlic
at least 24 hours before oral sex. Strong substances
like these can influence their ejaculate in
much the same way it does our urine. Carnivorous
men tend to have stronger tasting semen than
those who stick to vegetarian diets, though
whether this is unpleasant to the person doing
the tasting is a matter of personal choice,"
been eating lots of fruits lately and my girlfriend
tells me she loves
how sweet my sperm tastes now. I've also noticed
that the same can be said for a female's juices--she
tastes a lot sweeter when she's been eating
lots of fruit." one male friend informs me.
your come is a whole different matter. Conventional
wisdom on this subject (if there is such a thing)
states that if you want to make your ejaculate
more palatable, you should drink more citrus,
pineapple, or celery juice, and eat a lot of
sweet melon. However, the jury seems to be out
on the results, and it will probably be around
eight hundred years before someone does a real
study on the effects of cantaloupe on the taste
of come," explains Miss Blue.
always heard that eating bananas makes your
cum sweet. I have been eating them for years
and have had no complaints about my cum tasting
bad," says Dan from Florida. "Stay away from
things like coffee, alcohol and cigarettes.
I know that's some guy's entire diet, but their
cum is going to taste bad. Bad ingredients,
bad taste. Try increasing your fruit and veggie
intake. Better yet, get a juicer. You put away
huge quantities of the stuff easily and your
cum will start tasting less bitter and more
like berries and bananas," he recommends. "Juicing
up some fresh pineapple, papaya, mangoes or
freshly sliced oranges does the trick. You can
blend one or any combo of these into a drink
too. The difference is definitely noticeable
within a couple of days."
suggestions from a fellatio-enjoying nutritionist
include avocados, apples, watermelon, grapes
and celery. She advises, "Give him whatever
you want him to taste of...if chocolate works
for you, so be it."
sperm tastes lovely," says Karen from Wisconsin.
"But then we only ever eat fresh food and never
eat frozen things. We only ever drink red wine
and not beer, which most men guzzle by the truck
load. What you put in is definitely what you'll
are a few products on the market that claim
to enhance the bouquet and zest of semen, most
notably Seminex and Cum-So-Sweet. Both products
claim not only to make it sweeter but also to
impart it with a citrus flavour that "women
will love." Seminex is a powder that comes in
packets; you mix it with water and drink before
you go to bed two to three days before you want
to be tasty. Cum-So-Sweet is a sublingual tablet
(it dissolves under the tongue) that both partners
use just before oral sex to change the taste
of whatever fluid ends up in their mouths. But,
as Violet advises, "No products that make these
claims have passed any sort of clinical or safety
trials, so buyer beware, and read the ingredients
of any product that makes these claims before
you ingest it."
myths abound and it's hard to get decent info
on the issue of come; nope, swallowing semen
cannot make you pregnant, nor is it fattening.
According to the Kinsey Institute, the average
amount of semen a man ejaculates contains about
five calories. You'd have to ingest 400 loads
to equal the calorie content of a "death by
also no reason to feel that you should swallow
your partner's fluids if you don't want to,"
says sexpert writer Cathy Winks, co-author of
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. "Plenty
of sincerely enthusiastic couples simply may
not find the taste and texture of male ejaculate
pleasing enough to go that extra mile."
from force feeding a guy fruit combinations
and banning him from bitter beer and asparagus,
what other options exist for the fellatio-inclined?
Either the guy in question can give some warning
of when he is going to shoot (experience has
shown this is not always possible) or a girl
can use her intuition. After all, she's in the
driving seat here. She can take him to the point
of no return orally but actually finish the
job by hand. Again, not the most reliable course
of action. A third alternative is for the guy
to wear a condom during oral sex. This is a
compromise: the guy on the receiving end is
not going to feel the heat and juices of the
mouth, but that mouth is going to feel a lot
less inhibited knowing that it is not going
to receive a haphazard wad of saltiness. Less
guilt for the guys. "As much as I enjoy getting
head, I do feel bad afterwards because I know
my girlfriend has had to swallow something I
myself wouldn't enjoy swallowing," says Mike
D from Iowa.
much like swallowing sperm, so I reserve it
as a treat," says one young woman. "More often
I'll ask my husband to withdraw or we'll use
a flavoured condom (strawberry or mint are my
favourites). When he does come in my mouth,
I use my tongue so he spurts onto the roof of
my mouth. That way I don't gag." You can also
try using a flavored massage oil as a lubricant
prior to oral sex. Honey works well, too.
using flavored lubes first to get things tastier,"
suggests Teresa from New York. "It makes oral
sex much tastier. When the sperm mixes with
the lube it's yummy. My favorite flavors are
piña colada, passion fruit, and root
beer float. You can find all these in adult
stores. My man and I have a bottle in every
room, in the car and in my purse. We stock up
on it because it really enhances the act and
is fun to pick what flavor to use each time.
When he asks me if I am in the mood for a root
beer float, I know exactly what he wants. And
of course I am always in the mood for that."
good idea is to indulge in oral sex as a second
or third course in the sexual feast, as opposed
to the starter course. "The volume of your ejaculate
can vary, depending on how well hydrated you
are and how many times you've ejaculated within
a short period of time. The average ejaculate
measures around a half-teaspoon, though it may
reach a little over a teaspoon. During a single
sexual experience, the volume of ejaculate is
greatest the first time you come, and less for
each subsequent load," says Franklin Lowe, M.D.,
associate director of Urology at St. Luke's/Roosevelt
Hospital Center in New York, NY. The wise move
therefore is to lessen his load a few times
before you begin tasting him.
end of the day, the taste of a man is subject
to the individual's erotic palate; many fellatio
fans enjoy the taste of come and like its distinctive
texture. After all, it is the tangible reward
for your earnest efforts. It can be a powerful
aphrodisiac, too. The substance itself or simply
the concept of a man coming in your mouth can
be a powerful turn on.
or sweet, thick or thin, a man's come is the
part of his orgasm that shares part of him with
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