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"Can we, as a country, all agree

xmag.com : January 2004: Yummy Cum



A female friend of mine recently described the taste of a guy's semen as "salty oysters in cream." The first time I actually swallowed the stuff myself (and didn't shrewdly dodge the inevitable as I'd previously always done), I gagged like hell and ran off to gargle on Pepsi, leaving my outstretched partner high and dry. But the bitter-tasting truth is, if you put a guy's penis in your mouth with the intention of giving him pleasure, the odds are pretty good that he is going to come--in or near your mouth. Somewhere between thinking you might want to go down on him and his climax, you're going to have to decide whether you are comfortable with him coming in your mouth. It's a tricky situation: you're not averse to the idea of giving him the ultimate in arousal but going that extra mile extracts a bitter price. So what CAN a girl do when she is enthusiastically up for full fellatio but loathes that brine flavoured love juice?

According to porn by-lines, we chicks are simply gagging to swallow his jizz. Considering that one of the sure fire ways to make yourself vomit is to drink salted water, is it any wonder that we gag when it comes down to it? That is exactly what we receive each time our men take aim in our mouths. Male ejaculate measures in at an alkaline pH of 8 (more alkaline than saliva, tears, or sweat), approximately the same pH as an egg white. Fortunately for everyone, there are a couple of things a guy can do to make sure his come both smells and tastes good.

Violet Blue, sex educator and author of a fistful of best-selling sex books including The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (2002), tells us more. "Guys should avoid eating strong tasting substances such as asparagus, beets, coffee and garlic at least 24 hours before oral sex. Strong substances like these can influence their ejaculate in much the same way it does our urine. Carnivorous men tend to have stronger tasting semen than those who stick to vegetarian diets, though whether this is unpleasant to the person doing the tasting is a matter of personal choice," says Violet.

"I've been eating lots of fruits lately and my girlfriend tells me she loves how sweet my sperm tastes now. I've also noticed that the same can be said for a female's juices--she tastes a lot sweeter when she's been eating lots of fruit." one male friend informs me.

"Sweetening your come is a whole different matter. Conventional wisdom on this subject (if there is such a thing) states that if you want to make your ejaculate more palatable, you should drink more citrus, pineapple, or celery juice, and eat a lot of sweet melon. However, the jury seems to be out on the results, and it will probably be around eight hundred years before someone does a real study on the effects of cantaloupe on the taste of come," explains Miss Blue.

"I have always heard that eating bananas makes your cum sweet. I have been eating them for years and have had no complaints about my cum tasting bad," says Dan from Florida. "Stay away from things like coffee, alcohol and cigarettes. I know that's some guy's entire diet, but their cum is going to taste bad. Bad ingredients, bad taste. Try increasing your fruit and veggie intake. Better yet, get a juicer. You put away huge quantities of the stuff easily and your cum will start tasting less bitter and more like berries and bananas," he recommends. "Juicing up some fresh pineapple, papaya, mangoes or freshly sliced oranges does the trick. You can blend one or any combo of these into a drink too. The difference is definitely noticeable within a couple of days."

Other suggestions from a fellatio-enjoying nutritionist include avocados, apples, watermelon, grapes and celery. She advises, "Give him whatever you want him to taste of...if chocolate works for you, so be it."

"My husband's sperm tastes lovely," says Karen from Wisconsin. "But then we only ever eat fresh food and never eat frozen things. We only ever drink red wine and not beer, which most men guzzle by the truck load. What you put in is definitely what you'll get out."

There are a few products on the market that claim to enhance the bouquet and zest of semen, most notably Seminex and Cum-So-Sweet. Both products claim not only to make it sweeter but also to impart it with a citrus flavour that "women will love." Seminex is a powder that comes in packets; you mix it with water and drink before you go to bed two to three days before you want to be tasty. Cum-So-Sweet is a sublingual tablet (it dissolves under the tongue) that both partners use just before oral sex to change the taste of whatever fluid ends up in their mouths. But, as Violet advises, "No products that make these claims have passed any sort of clinical or safety trials, so buyer beware, and read the ingredients of any product that makes these claims before you ingest it."

Urban myths abound and it's hard to get decent info on the issue of come; nope, swallowing semen cannot make you pregnant, nor is it fattening. According to the Kinsey Institute, the average amount of semen a man ejaculates contains about five calories. You'd have to ingest 400 loads to equal the calorie content of a "death by chocolate" dessert.

"There's also no reason to feel that you should swallow your partner's fluids if you don't want to," says sexpert writer Cathy Winks, co-author of The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. "Plenty of sincerely enthusiastic couples simply may not find the taste and texture of male ejaculate pleasing enough to go that extra mile."

Aside from force feeding a guy fruit combinations and banning him from bitter beer and asparagus, what other options exist for the fellatio-inclined? Either the guy in question can give some warning of when he is going to shoot (experience has shown this is not always possible) or a girl can use her intuition. After all, she's in the driving seat here. She can take him to the point of no return orally but actually finish the job by hand. Again, not the most reliable course of action. A third alternative is for the guy to wear a condom during oral sex. This is a compromise: the guy on the receiving end is not going to feel the heat and juices of the mouth, but that mouth is going to feel a lot less inhibited knowing that it is not going to receive a haphazard wad of saltiness. Less guilt for the guys. "As much as I enjoy getting head, I do feel bad afterwards because I know my girlfriend has had to swallow something I myself wouldn't enjoy swallowing," says Mike D from Iowa.

"I don't much like swallowing sperm, so I reserve it as a treat," says one young woman. "More often I'll ask my husband to withdraw or we'll use a flavoured condom (strawberry or mint are my favourites). When he does come in my mouth, I use my tongue so he spurts onto the roof of my mouth. That way I don't gag." You can also try using a flavored massage oil as a lubricant prior to oral sex. Honey works well, too.

"Try using flavored lubes first to get things tastier," suggests Teresa from New York. "It makes oral sex much tastier. When the sperm mixes with the lube it's yummy. My favorite flavors are piña colada, passion fruit, and root beer float. You can find all these in adult stores. My man and I have a bottle in every room, in the car and in my purse. We stock up on it because it really enhances the act and is fun to pick what flavor to use each time. When he asks me if I am in the mood for a root beer float, I know exactly what he wants. And of course I am always in the mood for that."

Another good idea is to indulge in oral sex as a second or third course in the sexual feast, as opposed to the starter course. "The volume of your ejaculate can vary, depending on how well hydrated you are and how many times you've ejaculated within a short period of time. The average ejaculate measures around a half-teaspoon, though it may reach a little over a teaspoon. During a single sexual experience, the volume of ejaculate is greatest the first time you come, and less for each subsequent load," says Franklin Lowe, M.D., associate director of Urology at St. Luke's/Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York, NY. The wise move therefore is to lessen his load a few times before you begin tasting him.

At the end of the day, the taste of a man is subject to the individual's erotic palate; many fellatio fans enjoy the taste of come and like its distinctive texture. After all, it is the tangible reward for your earnest efforts. It can be a powerful aphrodisiac, too. The substance itself or simply the concept of a man coming in your mouth can be a powerful turn on.

Salty or sweet, thick or thin, a man's come is the part of his orgasm that shares part of him with you.

 

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