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xmag.com : September 2001 : Darklady


"You want...to cut...the pattern...
You want...to cut...the pattern...
It's very, very hot...take off your clothes...
It's very, very hot...take off your clothes...
Get on your hands and knees...
Get on your hands and knees...
Cut the pattern naked...
Cut the pattern naked..."
--Lee, a Darklady Webcam Watcher
 
 
Suddenly I'm all domestic.
I'm sewing: a kimono, two pair of trousers, and a doublet. That's pretty damn domestic in my opinion. Good to see the years I suffered in Home
Ec back in middle and high school didn't go to waste just because I became a sex writer.
Of course, I'm sewing the garments for my lover. My Master. The man with whom I'm engaged in a 24/7 D/s relationship that no sane human being who knows either of us would likely have predicted.
The important thing is that I'm sewing.
OK. I'm naked and sewing. Naked and in front of the webcam. But I'm sewing, see? It's all about bringing the wholesome goodness of the domestic arts to the American audience. Sex sells. If you want to teach an autistic child, you find out their fascination, their obsession. Then you capitalize on it. America has a short attention span and I have a webcam.
Thus, I sew naked. Sometimes. Sometimes I'm wearing clothes because, let's be honest, not many people can go around the house naked all the time even when they have the option. I have the option. But sometimes it's just more fun, more sensible and more socially acceptable to wear clothing.
Ultimately, I like variety. So I pursue my dark domestic arts and crafts in front of the webcam naked, semi-nude, fully clothed--however the Muse directs me to dress or undress at the moment, subject to change without notice. If I could stretch the cord into the kitchen I would share the magic that it hoards.
I would prepare tuna casserole (every Catholic girl has a tuna casserole recipe), wash dishes, feed that cat, or even mop. Yes, the might and wonder of the Internet knows no bounds and its ability to bring sensuality to the most mundane activity is beyond question. This fact became clear to me after I received
e-mail from a viewer who had spent 15 minutes watching me floss my teeth.
"I received e-mail from a viewer who had spent
15 minutes watching me floss my teeth."

He admitted that even he was shocked to have found it so absorbing. Imagine what the intensity of the moment might have grown to had I gargled. Viewers might well have asked the eternal question, "Will she spit or will she swallow?"
Yes, suddenly domesticity is sexy--as long as there's a high-speed connection, a fast refreshing webcam and a voyeuristic audience hungry to peek
into the bedrooms, living rooms, bathrooms and any other rooms inhabited by pretty girls willing to flash some flesh. Perhaps I'll introduce naked knitting, nude lead miniature painting, or lingerie-adorned classic literature readings in the future. Amsterdam may well have many of its sex workers advertising their wares behind shop windows but even that wild variety can't touch the untamed nature available to the Internet's Cam Generation. We've brought the world full circle. They'll arrest you for peeking in the next-door neighbor's window to watch her do her ironing naked. But she'll let you do it for free (or for a reasonable monthly membership fee) if you visit her website.
Now that I'm all domestic and everything, I guess it means I'll have to start ironing. And you know what hot, sweaty business that can be.


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