a well-known porn mag approached me with an assignment
of attending a swinger's club and writing an exposé
on it, I was anxious to do my homework. I'll admit,
I was curious and still pretty green about such things.
I had always wondered if what I'd heard was true...is
it really a free-for-all-fuck-fest and would I be able
to watch a real live cluster fuck? I was nervous...and
eager to find out.
might surprise you to learn that there are probably
several swinger clubs within 50 miles of where you live.
If you think such hard-core sexual shenanigans could
never happen in your quiet, modest neighborhood, think
everyone is swinging these days. Fat, thin, old, young,
preachers, teachers, straight & gay. Whatever you're
into, you can get your fill of it at swing clubs. And
it's perfectly acceptable to go simply because you're
curious--that's exactly how everyone starts out! (Well,
curious and horny!)
for men it's not so easy unless you've got a woman who's
open-minded enough to accompany you. Stag ladies are
almost always admitted free, but stag men are refused
entry unless there's an equal number of stag ladies
on the guest list. Expect to pay between $35 and $75
(per couple) at the door. Some clubs only accept couples.
can pretty much judge the caliber of the club by what
the host says to you in the initial phone conversation.
Don't panic if he (or she) asks for your first name
and phone number. Be honest; they will call you back
to verify. Your host should tell you several things,
like what to wear and what to bring along. Some clubs
(also called parties) are held in commercial buildings
and others are operated in homes and in neighborhoods
just like yours. The larger the house, the better the
party. Ask how many rooms and beds the club has--if
it's less then 10 beds don't go. Ask about the buffet;
the better clubs have an elaborate buffet with free
soft drinks. (Bring you own booze.) If it sounds like
the house and buffet are small, that's a good indication
of a poor-caliber club. All good clubs have a pool table,
lockers and at least one Jacuzzi. A bowl of condoms
is usually at the door, but bring your own, just in
away from membership clubs unless you feel comfortable
revealing personal information about yourself. They
require you to pay for membership on your very first
visit or you won't be admitted. To me, this says the
party isn't good enough to draw you back again and forcing
you into membership is just a tactic to get you to come
back. If the party is upscale, they know you'll be back.
"Virtually everyone is
swinging these days. Fat, thin, old,
young, preachers, teachers, straight & gay."
don't jerk off before you go to a swinger's party! In
fact, be celibate for at least 24 hours before you go;
you'll need all your stamina for the dozens of ladies
awaiting your performance. Dress stylish; a ratty old
T-shirt and tennis shoes won't help you get laid. Men
as well as ladies should dress up for entry and then
dress down (get naked) as soon as possible. The ladies
like to change into sexy lingerie and the guys usually
walk around in their skimpy underwear. Nudity is encouraged.
Remember, a swing party is an advertisement for availability
and willingness, so look the part! The hotter you look,
the faster someone will invite you to 'join them.'
parties are fun and can become quite addicting. There
are several right here in Portland. One is M&M Swinger's
Dance happening Sept 22, Oct 20, Nov 24 and Dec 29.
Contact them at Swing2mnm@aol.com or see http://www.portlandswingersdance.com.
also has The Ace of Hearts Club. www.aceofhearts.org
or contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
there's the ultimate: the yearly Lifestyles Convention
in Nevada. It's a mega fuck-fest where thousands of
people get together! See www.lifestyles.com for more