"Can we, as a country, all
: June 2002:
What's Your Fucking Problem?
nasty talk during sex. Unless I'm swallowing someone's
pride and joy, or sucking air around a ball gag, I'm
an ecstatic fountain of filthy expletives. AND YOU FUCKING
LOVE IT, DON'T YOU, FUCKER!? We all have our favorite
little phrases and banter..."Fuck that pussy like you
paid good money for it!" was mine until I got out of
if you run all stupid at the mouth, you can totally
ruin everything. Just 'cause the stretchy, over-tanned
girl-on-the-box in your cheap, 3-for-one-pornos will
squeal and chirrup that she WANTS YOUR ROPEY MAN'S MILK
all over her SWEET LITTLE RAISIN!!!!!!! doesn't mean
everyone else does. Keep it real, or keep it to yourself.
I was at school in New York City, I decided to give
up sex for a while to GET FOCUSED. I figured I'd be
fine getting myself off as needed and just concentrate
on school. It worked out great...for a few months.
seven months or so, I was a little tweaked, to say the
least. Masturbation wasn't enough anymore; at that point
it actually made me mad. On my last celibate day, my
hand was stuffed into my cutoffs, rubbing slick little
circles while I did a split in the back of a taxi. I
didn't care about the swollen, blotchy driver taking
it all in from his greasy rear-view mirror. In my fevered
daze, I kind of got off on how revolting he was. I mused
in my heat, "Oh, yeah...I bet his belly looks and smells
like a runny wheel of parmesan cheese....mmm, cheeeeese!"
I was sooo done.
free cab ride spat me out at my neighborhood bar. I
noticed a pretty, long-haired boy sitting alone with
a cocky "c'mere" smirk just for me. I bought him a beer.
We shared it.
door to my apartment had barely snicked shut and we
were at it, clothes off, tongues out and in, hands and
fingers everywhere. We wrecked my room. He took me every
way possible, sliding and slamming, and I ate it all
up. I demanded for him to FUCKING HURT ME. I came over
and over again in sheer revenge against myself. Sweat
was pooling between my tits and running from my winking
navel while he heaved my legs over my shoulders. It
was lovely and violent.
was all grunts and happy panting. He had barely spoken
since we had left the bar earlier. His non-verbalisms
were of no concern to me, since I was commanding all
possible airspace with my moaning, squeals and "Harder....Oh,
my God...HARDER!"s. I was getting royally fucked and
cared little for his lack of reply. Looking back on
it, he would've fared better to have stayed mute.
had me from behind when he was ready for his pearly
wet finale. I hissed at him to cum, yeah cum all over
me....ALL OVER MY ASS!!! C'MON!!! I guess he was a little
overexcited at that point, and his mouth unfortunately
decided then to shoot off along with his nuts:
OH YEAHHHH....HERE COMES THE HOT SAUCE!!!"
I even started laughing, he knew he had utterly humiliated
himself. It felt like every sperm stopped in mid-launch,
turned tail, and marched right back to his nuts with
their little white heads hung in shame. My little Glam
Stud got BA-HA-HAAAAed out of my apartment and was sent
home without cumming. Funny now, yes, but had I not
gotten off sufficiently before my little Eyeliner Pirate
decided to ruin the moment...I would have beat the snot
out of him. He was lucky.
me" works great until you and whomever develop your
own private code that comes with repeat performances.
To spring the latest goofy pet name for your genitalia,
sexual act, or anything with someone you barely
know is a big no-no,
people. It's insulting, and it could be a detriment
to your future sexual encounters. I'm all about creativity,
but hold your tongue if you're a moron.....and you know
who you are. Put that tongue to better use. There are
way yummier things to stuff in your mouth than your
big, stupid foot. So shut the fuck up.
2002 X Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. copyright | trademark | legal notices