Open. I like open. Open is good. In fact, it’s better than good—it’s wunderbar! Think of all the great things that involve "open." Open mic, open bar, open-minded, U.S. Open, open-source (shout-out to my nerds), open relationship, wide open, open-mouthed... umm... okay, you get the point. Open is fucking awesome, and we should be celebrating the fact that our industry is back open—and most likely for good.
Hard to believe, right? Yup, I know. After enduring three closures scattered across 13 months, it’s hard to trust that our latest re-re-re-opening will be the one that sticks. What’s even harder to believe is that our industry’s ability to stay open depends on you. Well, you, Uncle Ernie, your neighbor Lula and that asshole at Starbucks who always spells your name wrong on your Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew. That’s right, folks. Your ability to enjoy deep-fried jojos, a pint of PBR Easy, and set after choreographed set of beautiful naked ladies all hinges on everyone’s vaccination choice.
You see, the metric used for individual counties to reach the "Lower Risk" level has changed—it’s now tied to the percentage of vaccinated residents. Once a target of 65% vaccination is attained (for 16+), the county then has the option to move to the all-coveted lowest risk level.
So in Layman’s talk: if you love boobs, get vaccinated. Stop with the endless, bullshit excuses and weak-ass arguments. You weren’t crusading with anti-vaxxers prior to this pandemic, and I bet you haven’t once complained to your mom about that MMR shot she helped hold you down for.
Time to stop the shit. No, the government won’t track you once you’re poked—they’ve had that option all along. That’s right... you’re not off the grid, Einstein, because you carry around that tablet-sized phone and can’t stay off IG for longer than five minutes. No, you won’t develop autism, die of a stroke, become infertile, or have your genetics permanently altered. And no, you won’t be injected with any form of aborted fetal cells. This is the kind of ludicrosity that festers when your major source of news, social life, and anything else related to human contact comes from social media.
But wait! It’s your personal choice! Right? Wrong. "Personal" implies that it’s a choice that only affects you. When your choice affects my privilege to see naked ass, that’s where a line must be drawn! In short, don’t be an anti-vaxxer prick (or prickess), and please go get pricked. Do it for the titties!
Next month, it’s official. Exotic will turn 28 and likely be older than many of your favorite industry watering holes. That breaks down to 328 months (COVID math—it’s complicated) of Exotic being put into sweaty little hands across the region. In fact, Exotic is now the third-oldest publication in the Portland metro area and the second-oldest industry magazine in the U.S.
Now that I’m fresh out of fun facts to share, it’s time to be serious for a moment. We are a local, homegrown magazine that serves a very niche market— we’re very aware that the only reason we’re still alive after 28 years is because of our loyal advertisers and diehard readers, who routinely pick up each and every issue. You’ve supported us for over a quarter of a century, and we hope you continue to do so.
Let’s visit the proverbial "memory lane" and take a look at what started it all—the May 1993 issue of Exotic. While our logo and cover art has drastically changed, we’ve stayed true to our original issue’s hallmarks. We’re still a FREE publication with a complete map guide, calendar of events, and full of informative ads with beautiful girls.
We look forward to celebrating our 28th anniversary next month, within the pages of our July issue. You don’t have to own a strip club, lingerie shop, smoke shop, dispensary, or other business to take part in our anniversary issue. You can place any type of ad that you want to show your support. Rather than begging for your donations like certain other local publications, we will be giving you something in return: your photo, social media handle, or whatever else tickles your bits—all in full color, glossy brilliance. You will be instantly famous and the talk of all your family and friends (okay, maybe not, but it’s still going to be pretty fucking cool!)
Tantalized yet? We thought you might be. Seriously though, if you’re interested, hit us with a DM, text message, or email, and we’ll make it happen. We’ll appreciate the support, and you’ll love being industry-famous, even if it’s only for a month.
Until next month, stay safe out there.
Support your local businesses, including every industry business within these pages.
IG: @Exotic_Mag
Twitter: @ExoticMag
FB: Xoticmag
Email: Info@Xmag.com
503.241.4317
FRI 18—THE LOUNGE—SUMMER KICKOFF POOL PARTY
SAT 19—STARS CABARET BRIDGEPORT—THE WILD WEST IS BACK
SAT 26—DREAM ON SALOON—WET T- SHIRT CONTEST
WEEKLY (TUE)—DREAM ON SALOON—AMATEUR NIGHT
WEEKLY (SUN)—THE LOUNGE—AMATEUR NIGHT
DAILY—CABARET—HAPPY HOUR 11AM-5PM
DAILY—COLUMBIA STRIP—HAPPY HOUR 4PM-7PM
DAILY—Dv8—HAPPY HOUR NOON-3PM
DAILY—THE LOUNGE—HAPPY HOUR NOON-2PM
