Exotic Magazine

Exotic Magazine - Issue 339

Volume 29 - Number 11 (May 2022)

Exotic Magazine PDF - May 2022 Exotic Pinup

Short, Strange (but True) Historical Facts

by Wombstretcha

Short, Strange (but True) Historical Facts

This article is definitely of the species of articles which are to be read idly, possibly while bored at work, or on the toilet. So what we have here is a list of facts from all over the world, covering odd little nuggets of human history, and yes, they are all true, except for one. See if you can guess which it is.

In 300 B.C., Mayans worshipped turkeys as vessels of the gods. Their gods were, for the record, really weird.

The Olympic Games used to hand out medals for arts and humanities. At the time, 151 medals were awarded for architecture, literature, painting, music, and sculpture. Art competitions formed part of the modern Olympic Games during its early years but ended in 1954 because the Olympics are for amateurs, and artists are considered (by the Olympics) to all be professionals, regardless of whether or not they’d ever been paid for their work...

Build Back Better: The House Show Economic Recovery Plan

by Blazer Sparrow

Build Back Better: The House Show Economic Recovery Plan

These are trying times, etc., etc. Between the pandemic, the widespread job losses, the skyrocketing rent, and the ever-increasing tent cities, the "cool" factor of Portland is at an all-time low. Clearly, Portland’s "cool" factor is the most important effect of these unprecedented global events. Who reading this magazine would argue? To be honest, it has been a continuous downhill plummet since the peak, sell-out "cool" of the Portlandia days, so the pandemic isn’t wholly to blame. It was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. It lifted the veil, exposing the cracked and crumbling infrastructure of the state of our house show economy.

Jokes aside, a co-worker actually referred to the "economy of house shows" here in Portland and how it’s been in steep decline for the better part of two decades. Thinking of the state and value of house shows in Portland and some sort of economy made me realize that, just like the "real" economy in America that’s also in a flaming nosedive, this little house show market collapse can be solved with some misdirection, empty promises, and fancy talk!

You Too Can Make Friends As An Adult. Guaranteed.

by Hannah One Cup

You Too Can Make Friends As An Adult. Guaranteed.

"Go make friends!" has been a sentence we have heard since before grade school started. Approximately about the time when that new neighbor kid moved in that you didn’t actually care to know (you just wanted to play with their toys). And even though in your tiny kid body, your small, scrunched up heart was not wanting to "go make friends" with this nose-picker, you would grudgingly meander your way to your neighbor’s yard to see if this kid wanted to hang out. Again, for the good of seeing what toys tiny Tommy had.

But that was then, and this is now. And you’re old and confused about how to talk to people, for some reason. I get it; it happens to all of us. Some of us grow out of it organically or by sheer will. Others are comfortable being the awkward roommate that still barely says hello to the people they live with and jumps (out of sheer surprise) every time someone walks down the hall at the same time as them. Like, "Oh shit, another person is walking in the same hallway as me. Fuck, now what do I do? I guess I’m just gonna stand in this corner awkwardly...no wait, that’s weird. I’m just gonna go back to my room and close the door and wait to see if I hear them leave the hallway." Perfect coping mechanisms used for a perfectly normal, awkward situation in your daily life...


(read more)

Diary of a Pet Fiend: Memoirs of a Veterinary Assistant [Part 2]

by Esmeralda Rupp-Spangle

Diary of a Pet Fiend: Memoirs of a Veterinary Assistant [Part 2]

Many, many moons ago (20 years!), when the Earth was still young, I had the opportunity to function as an assistant at a veterinary hospital in Washington state. I’d been hired as a receptionist, but the line became foggier and foggier as months turned into years. Within the first week of being hired, I knew I would have to keep a journal of the absolute madness I had become a part of&mash;so, I did. What follows are some notable entries from said journal, modified only slightly for spelling, grammar, and anonymity...


(read more)

Erotic City

by Bryan A. Bybee & Barnaby Bandini

Erotic City

Local industry news and events...


(read more)

Exotic Pin-Up

photos by Hypnox

Exotic Pin-Up

Featuring Ophelia Flowers from Guilty Pleasures...


(read more)

Polerotica Recap: Rounds 1-3

photos by Hypnox

Polerotica Recap: Rounds 1-3

Photos from the first three rounds...


(read more)

Pirates of the Caribooty

photos by Hypnox

Pirates of the Caribooty

Photos from Dick Hennessy’s latest pageant...


(read more)