A Reasonable Suggestion: For Preventing the Musicians of Portland From Being A Burden To Their City, and For Making Them Beneficial To The Publick
by Blazerton Spiff
It is a melancholy object to those who walk through our great downtown or travel in our inner suburbs. When they see the streets, the roads, and the trendy hipster bars crowded with narcissistic singers of the male sex, followed by three, four, or six musicians, all in tragically hip clothing and soliciting every pedestrian to come and see their mid-week performance at 11 p.m. These singers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time gigging, to beg for sustenance for their talentless backing band, who, as they come into their own, either turn singer-songwriters themselves (for want of attention), or leave their dear native city to try to make it in Seattle, or sell themselves to Los Angeles.
I think it is agreed, by all parties, that this prodigious number of musicians clogging up our bars, cafes, basements, mothers’ spare rooms, community colleges, and service industry jobs has become not just a detriment to our once proud and beautiful city, but to these poor musicians themselves. Literally climbing over themselves, brother pitted against brother, just for the "prestigious" honor of opening for Portugal. The Man at the Doug Fir Lounge...
