The Monthly Column: Creepy Places of the World

by Wombstretcha

We, as humans (which I expect most of the reading audience to be, except for you, Sasquatch Steve), often develop fears of locations. Perhaps it is due to their air, their look, or the fact that they’re covered in blood. There’s always been the path in the woods, which the natives shun. There are places that, quite frankly, give us "the willies." That insensible dread, a sense we cannot escape. It could be a drafty cathedral from the middle ages or just your mom’s linen closet. We can’t explain precisely why we feel unnerved, but when enough of us so do, we take note.

We have records of people being afraid of specific locations for the entirety of our history. So, we’re gonna go through some spooky shit, and look at places on Earth (Urf) where most average humans do not want to go.

Not ranked in any particular order.

Mexico City’s weird "Island of the Dolls" (Isla de las Muñecas)

The story goes about this little island, which is in the canals near Mexico City, that there was a dead girl who drowned under "mysterious circumstances," and her spirit created and possessed a series of baby dolls that are suspended from the trees on this tiny island. Mostly, it was the work of some really offbeat fellow named Julian Santana, who was the island’s caretaker, and it was never confirmed if he did indeed find a dead girl. However, he found dolls.

Now, eyeless baby dolls hang from nearly every tree on the very small island. They sit and weather and do nothing but swing in the island breeze, gazing into infinity, and possibly into your soul. People do not like to be here after dark, so that’s why it rates on this list. Oh, and to make it slightly creepier, you can only get there by boat, and if you wait too long, the boatman just up and leaves your ass there.

Aokigahara, Japan

Okay, on that word, best I’ve heard, it’s pronounced "okee-guh-hara," so now you know how to wrap your head around that one.

You might have heard of this, as it’s been a subject of some discussion, and I think there was a movie a couple of years back, but if you don’t know, it’s Japan’s "Suicide Forest." What the hell is a suicide forest, and why does Japan have one? Well, it’s a place people go to kill themselves. Japan didn’t want one—they just ended up with one. Now, this rather delightful expanse of forest is where Japanese people go to off themselves. It isn’t just a few, either. It’s hundreds every year. If you go for a day trip to the woods, you might just find a dead person in the middle of your picnic. The Japanese government advises you not take a bite out of ’em, because then you’ll forever be tempted by the forbidden pork chops.

Kitum Cave, Kenya

This cave in Africa is, by most accounts, just a cave. The interesting thing about it is that it was carved over centuries by elephants who sought out the salt in the walls and used their mighty tusks to chip away at the volcanic rock of Mount Elgon to get it. That said, why is it creepy? Well, this particular cave has been the source of the famous Marburg virus on many occasions.

Marburg, if you haven’t heard of it, is like the version of ebola where you have to sit through ads because you didn’t pay for the subscription service. Being "ebola lite" is still pretty bad, though. People have gone in, saying, "gosh, what a nice cave," and come out hemorrhaging from their eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and anus a short time later. Nobody quite knows why it’s a breeding ground for deadly viruses, but it seems there are new ones breeding in there all the time, and they all hate humankind. Tread cautiously.

Sedlec Ossuary, Czech Republic

This one is bones. All bones. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing was made of bones. It’s an old Catholic church from about 1300 AD and was originally a monastery. After the Black Death, there were many dead people interred in their cemetery, and it grew significantly in size. A century later, they were saying, "Oh, we better make more room," so they started digging up graves. Makes perfect sense, right? They’re dead! What do they care? But that means that you have a very large collection of human bones. What do you do with them all? You must be respectful! Ah, stack them in the cathedral in artistic patterns, and since there were about 70,000 people buried there at one time, well...let’s just make all the furniture and decorations and chandeliers and drapery and dinnerware and toilet paper out of human bones, because, you know, we’re just on the bone rollercoaster.

Molinere Underwater Sculpture Park, Caribbean Sea near Grenada

Some British sculptor decided, around 2005 or so, that the best way to enrich the scuba diving experience in the pristine waters outside Grenada was to make really bizarre sculptures and stick them underwater. Because, when you’re leisurely paddling through the calm Caribbean Sea, you want to see a giant, hideous face or a ring of people worshipping some long-forgotten god or drowning children. Because that’s fun, right!? Not scary or strange at all!

Burger King, downtown

This place is weird. They pass off various simulacra of real food items as the genuine article. It’s very odd, and most people are unsettled by a trip there. It seems their "flame-grilled beef" causes intestinal duress and these odd belches wherein one can taste the Whopper™ up to a week after consumption. Possibly one of the creepiest places on Earth. The fries are good, though.

There you have it, an assortment of some of the globe’s oddest and most unsettling places.

Enjoy life and those weird shivers we get when we’re fundamentally uncomfortable with the place we are in.

-WStM

Wombstretcha the Magnificent is a bizarre sculpture enthusiast, Whopper dropper, bone rollercoaster conductor, writer, and retired rapper from Portland, Oregon. He can be found at Wombstretcha.com, on Twitter as @Wombstretcha503 and on Facebook (boo!) and MeWe (yay!) as "Wombstretcha The Magniflcent."

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