Page 20 - Exotic | May 2025

Stuff! We live in a glorious world of stuff, things, items, and objects! Services! People providing us with their expertise of some skill or resource we ourselves do not have! Of course, this means that everyone likes a bargain whenever they need those things; keep the ol' wallet as fat as possible How- ever, in my learned experience of seeing discounts, I have seldom been rewarded for my frugality with much but disappoint- ment. As they say, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.
his first day in prison. In your utter des- peration, you fling off your underwear and wince as your ass touches the foul seat, knowing that even when you feel that blessed relief, you still must hurl fistfuls of coarse, easily destructible paper on your brown eye. One-ply shouldn't even be le- gal for civilians to buy.
Toilet Paper
TP. Asswipe. Butt napkins. Fudge smearers. Whatever you want to call it, it is a staple of modern living, and nothing is worse when you have that urge to slam out a sewer pickle in an unsavory place, like a gas sta- tion, a Greyhound bus, or your Uncle Carl's trailer. "Can's right there." "I can see that. Thanks, Carl." Then, you discover, to your horror, one-ply—you gasp with the dread of a man walking through the gates on
Computer Gear
You can indeed get laptops for around a
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Guns and Ammo
You can argue your politics on them or whatever, but if you're gonna buy the one, you're gonna buy the other. They should be as high quality as you can get, especially for defense purposes. You want something that will just work; otherwise, you may as well just carry a rock in a gym sock in your holster. It doesn't have to be anything fan- cy, yet lots of people will tell you it must be the most giga-tactical, lead-slinging beast on the planet. Do not listen to them. Some people say a nice, cheap Saturday Night Special, loaded with cheap practice ammo, is all you need. Especially DO NOT listen to them. Middle of the road suits most of us perfectly fine.
Tools/Safety Gear
I get it if you just need a $3 screwdriver because you forgot where your good one was, but do you wanna keep buying cheap power tools with shitty blades, bits, and whatnot, every time you break the last?
Or repair them? Buy once, cry once. Oth- erwise, you're just throwing good money after evil. And safety gear? Do I even need to explain this? "A hundred fifty dollars for a helmet? Fuck that! What a scam! I can get this one here for about tree fiddy. Nice and lightweight, too." When you're putting your head and body on the line, be kind to those things, or you might find them in the ground.