Page 21 - Exotic | June 2025

the classics? Well, who better to look to, than the legendary Alexandre Dumas, French writer and professional asshole.
According to his writing, Queen Mar- gherita of Savoy, wife of King Umberto I, had it out for this. Pizza, at this time in the 19th century, was seen as poor people's food. Not fit for a queen. But Margherita requested it, and as the story goes, this was because she was bored of the fancy French cuisine that
20th Century
Chicago deep-dish pizza. It was osten- sibly invented in 1943 at Pizzeria Uno by one Ike Swewll and one Ric Ricca- rdo. Is this an I Love Lucy gag? The top- pings are layered between the sauce and the cheese. It can go fuck itself.
Modern Times
In the 21st century, people will put pretty much any kind of bold, crafty in- gredients on their pizza and charge you 60 bucks for it. People buy it, though. "Yes, I want the salmon and olives pizza with extra country gravy on top." Just gimme a slice of pepperoni and, ide- ally, non-ethically sourced cheese for $2. People in California are probably ordering extra sauce and dogshit on their pizzas. The "Mastiff Special."
That's pretty much the best that my re- search came up with, so I hope you en- joyed knowing the history of what you order on your phone at 2 a.m. when your friend is too drunk and you need to get something in her stomach.
Eat well, -Wombstretcha
Wombstretcha the Magnificent is a cold crust leftover from last night; tomato fan, writer, and retired rap- per from Portland, OR. He can be found at his website, wombstret- cha.com, on Twitter/X/whatever as @wombstretcha503, and on MeWe and (begrudgingly) Facebook as "Wombstretcha the Magnificent."
royalty was accustomed to being fed. According to accounts, she was served three pizzas made by quite famous piz- za chef Raffaele Esposito. He made one with garlic and fish, one with tomato and mozzarella, and her favorite: basil, tomato, and mozzarella. She didn't like the fishy one and preferred the one with the basil because it was apparent- ly the most delicious. Red, green, and white were the colors of Italy, and she liked that. So, it became known as the Pizza Margherita.
idea of adding pineapple to a Canadi- an bacon pizza. They just call it bacon, there. He had no idea that a worldwide communication network would even- tually spring up and tell people to hate it. Poor fellow.
Hawaiian Pizza
This one we can blame on Canada. In 1962, a Greek immigrant named Sam Panopoulos came up with the brilliant
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