A little sequel of sorts to last month’s entry, I figured I’d continue this thread for any poor, young, stupid musicians looking to the local titty mag for career advice. I did not title this one "The Dos and Don’ts of DIY Recording" since, ultimately, my advice would be no one cares. Do it. Don’t do it. Everyone has a laptop and an XLR/quarter-inch-to-USB adapter. To say the market is saturated is the understatement of the millennium. As a staunch leftist, I am happy as a sandy clam that the means of music production are so widely available that any idiot who went through a breakup can put their feelings to digital tape, accompanied by some canned synth sounds and a shitty 808 port. Truly. But on the real, it is good that home recording is massively accessible, so you can do the demo part of recording free of charge. It’s crazy hearing about bands as late as the early 2000s having to go into a studio and pay to cut a simple demo to shop around to record labels, who would then ignore them. What’s more, they usually paid quite a bit for something we can all now do on GarageBand. There’s no sage-like advice to offer on this end of your musical journey other than just to do it since it’ll cost you nothing. I assume most software these days can be pirated, and I know you don’t have a job. I guess do record every idea you have and don’t show it to anyone.
This self-help article is for when you get the money together and go into like an actual studio with soundproofed vocal booths, a giant ole board with faders and cocaine residue, and one of those windows where you can see the engineer ignoring your pleas for more mix in the headphones.
DO it. I know you think you’re the next Tame Impala or Billie Eilish—cough—Finneas, and you’ve spent years acquiring expensive microphones and placing them in certain corners of your bedroom for the perfect sound—but seriously, at a certain point, you do have to leave the nest...at least for the experience. Even if your schtick is gonna be bedroom pop homegrown aesthetic, I can’t stress enough how important it is to just see the professionals in action. Do you think you’re the first person to come up with wonky mic placements? Learn the rules before you break ’em. It’s cheaper than going to school for a useless degree in music production.
DON’T be late. Good God, if ever you finally understood the phrase "time is money," it’s in a professional studio. Never will you see that clock move so fast. I wouldn’t just recommend being early, but honestly, see if you can finagle the studio into letting you bring your stuff in the night before. This is honestly a big ask, and most of the more legit spaces aren’t gonna just let you have free time, but if you can convince them to get in there the night before, you will save so much time just literally moving the cymbal stands around. You will not believe how much time you eat up with seemingly simple stuff like tuning a snare.
DO practice. I feel like such a boomer saying this, but when you’re paying for studio time, definitely go in knowing your parts like the back of your hand. Again, this relates to time-saving. Each take is just eating up more and more time, and honestly, you’ll start burning yourself out and make more mistakes the more takes you go. You start second-guessing yourself and fumbling in the endzone. Obviously, there’s studio magic to help airbrush this out or combine two shit takes to make a decent take, but do yourself and the engineer a favor and come in prepared. This advice only applies when you’re young and poor and starting off on a budget. Obviously, the ideal studio environment is where you can waste all the time you want chasing butterflies on acid late into the night or sweating through hours-long jams while doing line after line. This is where the good stuff gets laid to tape, but you don’t have the clout or money yet.
DON’T expect this to boost your career in any way, shape, or form. I haven’t confirmed it yet, but I heard a few rumors that Lorde was discovered through some home demos she put on Reddit. Justin Bieber being discovered through YouTube accidentally is a well-documented story. I do know Lady Gaga’s dad paid her rent in New York for a year while she was trying to "make it," and that making it involved someone overhearing her singing in the hallway or some other such made-up nonsense. The truth is, thanks to the democratization of recording technology, you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg to put your songs to tape so someone can hear them. As for what makes music marketable, I haven’t a clue. If I did, I would be giving you bad advice in a local nudie rag. That’s not why you go into a bonafide, real-deal studio. You do it to take notes, get ideas, and see how it’s done. They’re expensive as all hell, but they’re cool. And if you do fancy yourself the next Sufjan Stevens, it wouldn’t hurt to see how the pros do it. See a space dedicated to it. The bedroom isn’t going anywhere. It’ll always be there for you.
