Albums Turning 20 This Year...to Remind You That You Are Dead and This Is Hell
Happy New Year! 2026 will mark the Twentieth Anniversary of my life as an Oregonian, after decamping from the Bay Area. Saying this number out loud made me think about the cruel, relentless nature of time itself.
2006 can’t possibly be 20 years ago. It was just a few years ago...we’re still in the 2000s, right? In terms of music, there’s the ‘50s, the ‘60s, the ‘70s, the ‘80s, the ‘90’s, and the nows. I feel like I woulda remembered three distinct decades of music. I look on paper and see there are also ‘00s, ‘10s, and now ‘20s, but...the math ain’t mathing.
In disbelief, I decided to look back at some of the landmark records that I swear came out when I was just starting college. Except that doesn’t make sense, ‘cause that would mean I started college 20 years ago. That can’t be right.
Either way, to celebrate my ninth year with Exotic and my (vomits in mouth a little) twentieth year in Oregon, I thought I’d use this issue to look back at these six albums that are—against all reason and justice—turning...20 this year.
Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not
I remember when this album came out, thinking it was the future of guitar-based music. Yes, I know The Strokes broke the door down, and The White Stripes pushed past them and grabbed the torch, but for me, this album was the rock album of the 2000s. Although it was at the tail end of the garage rock revival, I thought it shone a light forward. Boy, did I not anticipate the stomp-clap-hey left turn rock music was gonna take soon after this record came out. Not only is this album passé, but if a baby were born when it came out, that baby could now easily get into the strip club you’re sitting in with a fake ID, and then legally get into that same club next year. What is time, right?
Clipse – Hell Hath No Fury
I coulda sworn that the timeline from this album’s release, to the group’s disillusion, to Pusha T’s legendary verse on Kanye’s “Runaway,” to T’s illustrious string of solo albums, to Clipse’s triumphant comeback album last year was...like 6, 7 years tops. Boy, was I way off. Apparently, this record came out 20 goddamn years ago. Look up from this magazine to the stage. There are dancers on that stage who were born after this album came out. This is clearly some sort of clerical error on Father Time’s part.
My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade
So this is a weird one, because this band is currently on tour. They are selling out stadiums. They are also touring...this album. That’s right. My Chemical Romance is touring the world (should be in South America by the time this comes out) to promote this album...playing it front-to-back, in the same outfits and stage design, military drip and all. You would think that such a massive, successful tour, attended by an alarming number of teenagers, would be for a recent album. You would be wrong. This album came out before many of those teenagers in the audience were even born. How’s that for something to scare the living shit out of you?
Justin Timberlake – FutureSex/LoveSounds
I’m not even a huge Justin Timberlake fan, but I swear to God I still hear “SexyBack” and “Losing My Way” in the club. It’s probably playing right now, wherever you’re sitting. Now, call me old, but I feel like most folks wouldn’t think, “Oh, they’re playing oldies,” when either of these bops comes on. However, in 2006, I guarantee that if you were dancing in the club and they started playing Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love” or Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away,” the first thing you’d think is, “Oh, they’re playing oldies.” Like, you could hear that 20-year difference. Again, proof that the last 20 years are some kind of time dilation fuckery. There is no way I am this old.
Gnarls Barkley – St. Elsewhere
When I try to think of the best songs of the decade, there’s no way “Crazy” off this album doesn’t find its way into the top five. Oftentimes, it makes its way into the number one spot. Then I realized that “Crazy” didn’t come out this decade; that was the last decade. Then I realized that wasn't correct either; it was the decade before that. Then I have to lie down.
Amy Winehouse – Back to Black
Ms. Winehouse tragically joined the “27 Club” 15 years ago. The last single released while she was still alive was 19 years ago, and this album (if I’m reading this right) came out 20 years ago. If I’m the only one who thinks this doesn’t sound right, I shall hang up my pen and retire with the rest of the geriatrics, making room for the next generation of writers. However, I am positive a large swath of you see this album cover and hear the phrase “20 years ago,” and are equally perplexed. It can’t just be me. Please. I can’t afford to retire. Rent won’t stop going up. Help.
