I knew I wanted my theme to be sci-fi, and at first, I considered doing a take on Frankenstein or the movie Species. However, those fell short of the originality I was looking for. Themes of sentient, disobedient machines and artificial intelligence have interested me for quite some time, and to me, they feel especially (and terrifyingly) relevant to our current day. I also wanted an opportunity for transformation! This theme felt very personal to me

There's no such thing as a bad economy. The economy goes to shit when people spend more than they can afford, and if the economy is shit, that means people are spending more than they can afford. How do you get them to do so? Simple: stop overthinking everything and focus on whatever the quickest route is from their wallet to your wallet. When it comes to what type of dancer most customers prefer, the easiest-to-cast, widest financial net is music—not how one dances to it, but simply what is coming out of the speakers while naked boobs are hypnotizing financially irresponsible men with disposable income...

Happy New Year! 2026 will mark the Twentieth Anniversary of my life as an Oregonian, after decamping from the Bay Area. Saying this number out loud made me think about the cruel, relentless nature of time itself.

2006 can’t possibly be 20 years ago. It was just a few years ago...we’re still in the 2000s, right? In terms of music, there’s the ‘50s, the ‘60s, the ‘70s, the ‘80s, the ‘90’s, and the nows. I feel like I woulda remembered three distinct decades of music. I look on paper and see there are also ‘00s, ‘10s, and now ‘20s, but...the math ain’t mathing...

Oral hygiene is important. We, for the most part, all brush and floss and use mouthwash regularly. However, let us consider the world of toothpaste. They make special toothpaste for the kids, which is flavored in various ways (Crest Sparkle Motion, anyone? Man, I miss the '90s sometimes), and those for adults, which are bland and functional, and those organic toothpastes, which do jack shit and cost ten bucks. That said, we're going to dive into a realm of what the worst possible toothpastes might have to offer. Buckle up, because apart from a few real-life examples, we're digging deep into what could be, but definitely what should never be...