As opposed to drag queens, DJs, writers, or anyone else who uses a funny name in place of their government title, strippers have stage names for reasons that extend beyond playing a part or acting a character—mainly anonymity and personal safety. While you're never going to meet a drag queen whose real name is John and just goes by “Jane” at work (it's gonna be something more glamorous or showy, like “Statutory Rachel” or “Sharon Needles”), it is common to meet strippers who introduce themselves as “Jenna” or “Crystal” like it's a normal name. It's okay for one's onstage persona to simply be “cute girl, naked variety, fake alias,” and you don't even need a costume (although it doesn't hurt). The real reason you, the Google-able, real-life woman who posts ten IG stories an hour with GPS turned on, need a fake name is to separate your at-work life from the one you live when you're fully clothed. The rule of “Use a Fake Name to Keep Creepy Dudes From Stalking You” does not appear in my list of rules, because it's common fucking sense. That said, it's not just your identity and address that you, the stripper who sells a fantasy, need to protect. The rest of your personal life needs to be treated with the same degree of separation as your name...

Depending on what exact type of rock you may or may not have been living under this year, you might not know that Joseph Edgar Foreman, aka Afroman, just won the “Lemon Pound Cake” defamation case brought against him by the Adams County Sheriff's Department. If that statement means nothing to you, I will summarize for brevity and expect that if your interest is piqued, you will do the necessary rabbit-hole diving required to catch up on all the details.

Three years ago, a rapper named Afroman (D.I.Y.-famous for “Because I Got High,” arguably the first-ever viral hit song, as it was literally only available on the virus-laden platform LimeWire, before being featured in a Kevin Smith movie) had his house raided by Adams County, Ohio, sheriff’s deputies. The raid was due to an anonymous report that Afroman had “kidnapping victims and narcotics” on his property (the latter, a given; the former, completely fabricated). While the rapper was not at home during the raid, his security camera was running, and caught one of the officers involved eating a piece of lemon pound cake found on Afroman's kitchen table. In addition to the stolen dessert, the rapper also suffered damages, including a broken gate and door. His response was to use footage of the raid (that he legally owned) in various music videos posted to his YouTube channel (@ogafroman), in which he raps about how the sheriffs stole his lemon pound cake (“Lemon Pound Cake”) and broke his door (“Will You Help Me Repair My Door”). Reaction, equal and opposite reaction. Seems like a closed case...

As some of you may know, my pen name pays homage to a somewhat famous, very accessible, easily transported brand of sake. One Cup (wan-kappu) sakes have a special place in my dark little heart, for their adorable cups and usually decent alcohol. It was also my first introduction to this Japanese drink. After having been drinking sake for quite some time, I started to become interested in the finer details of how it was made and stories about some of the breweries. After reading this article, I hope to—at the least—give you some new, unnecessary facts about a drink you’ll never have or perhaps open your mind to the exotic flavors of alcoholic rice. As they say on Most Extreme Elimination Challenge: “Geettiitt on!”...

Ninjas! Anyone who lived through...well, the last 50 years, knows that the ninja has been a powerful pop culture fixture. Usually, they are the bad guys in old martial arts movies, then heroes in later ones, then just generic character tropes. We are going to explore what a historical ninja actually was, and then we're gonna talk about ninjas in video games. I probably can't fit them all in, but I will touch on as many as I can, so put on your black pajamas, grab your throwing stars, and let's go...