Don’t trust anyone over 30. It is as true today as it was when used to combat anti-Communist paranoia during the counter-culture movement in the '60s. Let's be honest...music is for the children—pop music, especially. If you don't get a record contract by the time you're 30, just give up. This isn't to say you can't be playing music into your 90s like the Rolling Stones, but when your career actually starts, there is a shelf life. Be honest. Take your top five favorite records, your top five favorite songs, your favorite artists, whatever. Look up how old they were when their first single or album came out. Sorry, strip club patron paying for female attention...the truth hurts, don’t it?...

To call this a vacation without air quotes means that I don’t know what a real vacation is...which might actually be true, considering every time I try to take one of these things, it never ends up being nearly as relaxing as I had hoped and needed it to be, and I end up excited to go back to work. Is that capitalism doing its job on me correctly? Anyway, this vacation was special due to the fact that not only was my partner joining me, but my father as well, who had actually planned the whole thing initially...

My eyes, bloodshot and heavy with sleep, burst open at the sound of my alarm. I stare stupidly at my phone, struggling to focus my eyes in the dark long enough to see what ungodly hour it is. 6 p.m. "Goddammit," I mutter, "it can't be time already." But it is indeed time, already. If I try to sleep any longer, I’ll wind up late for work. My bed pleads with me to stay as I get up, groaning. I consider it a moment, but I have bills to pay—no rest for the wicked. I plod up the stairs to the bathroom, my knees and the stairs creak together in miserable harmony as profanity tumbles from my mouth in lyrical contribution to the creaky duet. I shower under the hottest water I can tolerate in hopes of feeling something other than back pain and sciatica...

Museums are collections for the curious. We've all been to a few in our lives, at least, I hope so. If not, you're missing out. From the dry, stuffy kind like the British Museum to the somewhat wacky nature of the Museum of Modern Art, these spaces are full of objects and exhibits that fascinate and educate. They inspire the human desire to explore and discover, as the word "museum" has origins in antiquity. In its Greek form, mouseion, it meant "seat of the Muses," and Muses, of course, were inspirational goddesses of the arts, sciences, and literature. But the Muses are fickle, like all those Greek gods and goddesses, and can steer you toward inspiration in some very strange ways. I've found some museums that have very odd subject matter as their point of focus. Let's see what they are...