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xmag.com : May 2001 : The Gospel According to Viva Las Vegas

The Gospel according to Viva Las Vegas - "the laziest gal downtown"

Viva

No one to talk with, all by myself...I'm smokin' anonymous in the sexiest night I've felt in ages. An impending storm, after months of bitter cold. Sudden warmth, mugginess, my whole body feels hungover and then a cool breeze whistles in off the water. It's wet. The sky is twenty shades of gray and slowly enveloping the whole city. It twinkles gray and yellow like an old black-and-white movie. The electricity is intoxicating. A perfect night for film noir-style true love, but I'm in love with the pavement.
I'll tell ya 'bout Manhattan. It's a small town. It's Sesame Street. A giant screwed-up multicultural ultra-lingual family that loves animals and builds its days around colorful numbers and letters. A C E! 1 2 3! Uptown Downtown Crosstown. It's wondrous. It's wonderland. It's all soul and bottomless hope and strong backs. It's absolutely fabulous.
I'll tell ya 'bout freedom. Freedom IS just another word for nuthin' left to lose. And what else, Janis Joplin? Get it while you can!
I live in Brooklyn. 'Round the corner from Love Lane, where Henry (Miller) lived with June. Down the street from Norman Mailer. Where Capote dreamed up Breakfast at Tiffany's. And I walk streets immortalized by "Tangled Up in Blue" and "Famous Blue Raincoat." It's lonesome.

I'll tell ya 'bout David Bowie. I MET HIM! Week One at a Chelsea Gallery with the lovely Iman. I gushed about how I love to strip to Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and he claimed he'd never seen it done! Right, sure, David. I asked him what he thought was the best song to see a girl get naked to. He said, "Well, gosh! I imagine it'd have to be some kind of hymn. Perhaps 'On the Wings of a Dove...'" At which point he started singing "On the Wings of a Dove." I called my Daddy Las Vegas, the Midwestern minister, first thing. Meanwhile, the rich girls with lesbian tendencies in super-fuzzy tight sweaters clucked about who was a model. Who CARES?

I'll tell ya 'bout Manhattan. It's a small town.
It's Sesame Street. A giant screwed-up
multicultural ultra-lingual family that loves
animals and builds its days around colorful
numbers and letters. A C E! 1 2 3!
Uptown Downtown Crosstown.


I'll tell ya 'bout the greatest music I've seen in months. Two-way tie between Japan's kinetic godzillas, the King Brothers (oh my!) and this amazing five-piece playing perfect 60s girl pop on the platform for the S train. Five African American teenagers--three girls with guitars front 'n' center. I could have died. But had to catch that S train.
My other new favorite band is the Dictators. They RULE! And have since 1975 or so... And I would have never heard of them if I hadn't had a special introduction to lead Dictator, and ex-wrestler, Handsome Dick Manitoba (thanks, Richard Meltzer!)?! The nicest man on the Lower East Side? Who eventually got me a JOB bartending at Niagara on 7th and A?
And why have I never heard Aladdin Sane by David Bowie? Who is responsible? Am I going to have to take the train BACK through NY, PA, OH, IN, IL, MN, ND, MT, WA and OR just to strip to "Panic in Detroit?" "Dear David, I lied. 'Panic in Detroit' is the best. No. 'Moonage Daydream.' No...."
And I'll tell ya'bout movin', cats. When you're down and out and desperate, but somehow on fire, no one loves you more than NYC. And I love it back! I love NYC.

 

 

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