Carnal Knowledge 6.07


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by Frank Faillace’
[ fuh-la-chay ]
mailto: ffaillace@webtv.net

Just like any close-knit community, the Portland adult entertainment industry is rife with rumors and gossip. Since I have a bit of a soapbox here, I’d like to lay some of the more colorful ones concerning myself to rest:

“Frank screwed me over.”
This is a particularly funny one since the one person I know who claims it is the same person I paid over $50,000 as a contract advertising representative in 1996, before our working relationship ended. And the same person to whom I sent an additional $1800, (which I was not at all obligated to do), in the summer of 1997 after I heard he was about to be evicted from his penthouse loft. Now he has his own magazine, SFX, and uses statements like this to sell his ads.

“Frank promised me 30% of his magazine and then cheated me out of it.”
This, from the same person. Logically, if I had promised him 30% (which I didn’t) why on earth would I have paid him $50,000 a year? (I made $18,000 that year).

“Frank is an idiot.”
This, actually, is true (see first two above).

“You have to fuck Frank to be on the cover of his magazine”
In all honesty, only a blowjob is necessary... Just kidding. As approximately 63 of the 66 covergirls in the past six years can verify (unfortunate though it may be), this isn’t true.

“Frank’s making a fortune on his magazine. Look at all the businesses he’s involved in.”
Nope. With an overhead of more than 90%, the publishing industry is generally considered one of the hardest to make money in. As far as my other businesses go, I’m able to do them only because I can save a little of my own money now and then and I enjoy working (too much) on new projects (to the detriment of my personal life).

“Frank’s involvement with his new strip club is a conflict of interest with other club owners that advertise in his magazine.”
I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m a part owner of a small tavern/strip club way out by itself on Barbur Boulevard. It’s a matter of public record with several government agencies. In fact, I was very careful about my decision to work on this project. The main reason I did is because there isn’t another strip club within 10 miles in any direction. In this city, that alone erases any concerns over competition as well as makes marketing sense. It’s a very small tavern with beer and wine and one stage, tucked away in a corner of the metro area all by itself. I also promised myself and others I would never show any favoritism in the magazine for promoting my club over others. If anything it gives me a unique perspective of the problems club owners have and what I can do in helping them promote and operate their clubs better.

“Frank likes to date strippers.”
Okay, true. So what...?

“Frank is gay.”
Uhh, no, I’m not. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay...

Frank has a small penis. He is rude and ugly with delusions of grandeur. He smells bad and is dangerous. He congregates regularly with convicted criminals and known government subversives. His criminal past is well-documented and includes such acts as solicitation, forgery and suspected murder. He is mean to animals and kicks little fuzzy puppies in the head on a regular basis. Frank, to put it bluntly, is a horrible, horrible man.”
I do not have a small penis.

Happy crazy 1999...



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