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Faithful savorers and fellow fetishists will recall that I ended last month’s column with a question. After recounting the virtues of young Gillian Kendall, a boot-loving female writer who contributed an article about her personal lifelong love affair with boots to the new shoe fashion magazine Shuz , I raised the Q, Just what does make for the perfect boot-wearing girlfriend? What does a boot loving boy want his girlfriend to do?

The answer is easy, and I shall relish recounting in minute detail the attributes of the perfect boot wearing girlfriend.

Imagine, if you will, just for a few hundred more words, a relationship that is perfect in all other facets. The boy has a job. He is dedicated to his girlfriend. None of his relatives are criminals.

She works, too, but is also highly creative, highly intelligent, not funny about money, has relatives she is not feuding with, has many very nice female friends who don’t come on to her man, is compassionate and yet firm.

OK, that’s over. So they are perfect for each other. Thing is, he has a thing for boots. And she is fine with that because–add this to the list of virtues above–she is sexually creative. She’s not afraid to experiment. She likes sex. And thus she likes whatever turns him on to sex, too.

So she’s willing to do it. Now, what does he want her to do exactly.

Now, this might vary greatly from person to person, depending on the kind of fetishist they are. If he is a submissive man, he’ll probably want some boot domination games, like an elaborate contract that dictates the times and reasons when she will wear boots for him and what he must do to earn that privilege, as well as be “forced” to attend to and even lick her boots, even masturbate on them and–yes–lick it all up. If he is simply highly verbal, he will want her to talk about boots, or allow him to talk about boots.

But within this arc of boot obsession there are certain basic requirements. She will probably really have to like boots, because he will want her to wear them all the time. Even to bed. Like, while sleeping.

He will want her in boots even while they are on the couch watching a video. He will want to glance down at her feet, reflecting the light off the TV screen, playing upon the black leather. When ever she crosses her legs, he will look down to see how the light on those boots will change, and revel in the squeaking of leather boot against leather boot. He will want to hold one of the boots in his hand, the way he lays a hand over his penis while he is falling asleep. And he will want her to wear boots out, always, no matter what the event may be–a movie, a rock concert, a visit to the relatives, a wedding, or even a funeral.

And here’s the beauty part–she thinks of doing all these things herself. If she hears you purr about pleated skirts, dark stockings, and riding boots, well, guess what she’s wearing when you come over for a date?

Of course, nothing and no one is “perfect.” But being open to negotiating about the boot thing would be a good start.

Jimmy Doyle is a former New York cop now living in Portland.

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