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It's
the end of the world (as we know it)...
I'm talking
about--of course--the dreaded Y2.001K Bug...
Upon the rollover
of the clocks at midnight New Year's Eve, computers around
the world--not able to accurately differentiate between
dimpled ballots and dimpled buttcheeks--will crash. The
resulting crash will cripple the internet and warp the space-time
continuum, thus causing a whore-rific chain reaction resulting
in His Fraudulency President-Elect George W. (Lick) Bush
being impeached-- before he's even sworn in-- by the House
of (Wax) Representatives, spurred on of course, by appointed
Special Prosecutor Monica Lewinsky and the razor-thin "will
of the people" in an impromptu Florida butterfly-ballot,
hand-counted referendum...
Locally, the
Y2.001K Computer Disaster could snowball into Portland Mayor
Vera Katz's decision to declare the Oregon Constitution
"Unconstitutional" and consequently zoning all adult businesses
into a three-block circumference centered around embattled
Portland Police Chief Mark (Fuhrman) Kroeker's residence...
subsequently cascading down to an ordinance requiring the
pictures of all Portland escort and lingerie models being
pasted on the back of milk cartons and telephone poles citywide...
and in Miami-Dade County...
Personally,
the Y2.001K Computer Bug could have positive repercussions.
It's possible that the warp in the space-time continuum
could minutely alter individual consciousness, allowing
certain adult industry business people to clearly see through
the propaganda of hardcore (Kirby) salesmen as to which
seasoned adult publications in Portland actually care about
the adult industry by contributing considerable time and
money to fight unfair ordinances and ballot measures, and
which adult publications in Portland actually print intelligent,
relevant articles--not just tripe cannibalized off the internet,
and which Portland adult publications have the readership
and distribution base to justify advertising in them...
...And I
feel fine.
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