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Ass Worship
Edition
Animal
Trainer 5; Evil Angel; Dir., Rocco Siffredi; Stars:
Janice,
Sharon, Claudia, Michelle, Monique, Mari
Rocco's
got a new look to this slick-'n'-sick series to wet your
whistle. Gone is the whole throwback-to-the-seventies,
madcap, fuckin'-on-the-farm, faux-natural kinda
thing. Admittedly, that was fun. And all the performers
had those big hairy bushes like Harry Reems and Vanessa
Del Rio in the pioneer porno days. Now Rocco's gone rough
and ready. Witness the forced anal feeding in scene one
as the blonde's face is buried in the brunette's butt
by the producer/writer/director's guiding hands. And here,
Rocco has finally found a fuckmate equal to his endowment.
But, he had to go black to do it. So, Rocco and his mate
train these submissive animals in the spacious Euro-style
bathroom. No annoying music under or garish lights. They
shoot in the sunlight pouring through the windows. The
girls have natural breasts and high, round rears. And
their faces look a lot better than the treatment they're
getting--fucked from behind with their heads pushed into
the toilet. Strange mixture of beauty and the macabre
in the spirit of director Kris Kramski, before he sold
out to Hustler Video.
Scene
two offers another skinny blonde in black PVC, zippered
jump suit offering her pussy, unzipped, for licking. Orgy
in the living room ensues with Rocco and his fuckmate
taking four bitches. That's two apiece. Nice way to divide
the spoils of war. Now that Rocco's had 'em, he invites
over eight guys from the neighborhood to share in the
harvest of his hunt. But all they get is to jerk off and
cum on the girls' pretty faces. Some loads are bigger
than others.
Scene
three delivers more rough sex on the helm of a ferry boat
as her slippery throat channels his wide vessel. Aye-aye,
captain! Bitch doesn't gag once. Guy sounds Russian and
has what looks like scars from some industrial waste accident
on his mottled side. The Toxic Avenger? She gets
passed around like a bottle of rum to the rest of the
crew. This whore really gets used and abused. Afterwards,
she stands up and spreads her cheeks for a gape shot that
reveals the blue bruising her rectum took from the gang
of eight. Her sneer over her shoulder says, "This is my
badge of honor."
"Caution: Do
not try this at home. These are professional dildo drivers
on a closed course."
There's
so many girls in AT5 that Rocco doesn't get around
to fucking them all. Some are simply displayed on couches
like after-dinner mints. You take a bite passing by
after cumming. At over two hours, there's more than
enough raw fuck footage and semenized assholes to fill
your nutsack and empty your brain stem of war and rumors
of war. Since HIV, Hep C, Herpes et al undermined
the veracity of "Make Love, Not War," that leaves porno
as man's best friend for skimming off the testosterone.
Beats the hell out of buying a gun. And it's a lot cheaper,
too.
Service
Animals 3; Evil Angel; Dir., Joey Silvera; Stars:
Julie Ryan, Sixx, Melissa West, Staria, Kaylee, Gia
R., Cherie
Sticking
with the anal/animal theme, as barbarism rules the day,
I decided to check out this gonzo release from Joey
Silvera. In the first scene, the blonde bimbo talks
like she's holding a mouthful of marbles. Deep-throat
lessons in the kitchen follow for the hired help. After
a while, she seems to get the hang of it. Slow learning
curve, fast body curves. Compared to Animal Trainer,
there's a simpler, more proletarian feel to Service
Animals.
Scene
two offers some fine fetish relief for panty-hose freaks
as the Alaskan native sticks her nylonic rear out the
passenger window of an SUV. She shows off her nylon
pussy before the driver jumps in. Good thing the cab's
roomy as they romp about in the SUV parked in the garage...as
every SUV will be if the Middle East erupts in war.
At least those $30,000 gas-sucking machines will be
good for something...fucking in the garage. Eventually
they crawl out of the tombstone-gray vehicle for a romp
on the green brocade couch. The cheap white sheet tucked
over the cushions, to protect against cum stains, adds
a ghostly touch.
One
thing you know you're gonna get with Silvera, and that's
a big round booty right in yo' face. And so the girl
in scene three, who proclaims, "I'm white class, not
white trash," bends over and spreads 'em before being
blindfolded with her own panties. She gets down and
dirty in the "White Class" laundry room. And she gets
those cocks clean.
White
cotton panty parade in the child's playroom, scene four;
then some chocolate thunder shows up. This nasty threesome
visualizes whirled penises on the same green brocade
couch. And there's nothing like ghetto-sized booty to
relieve tension. Service Animals 3 starts out
slow, then picks up steam. You'll probably pop a nut
on this one before you reach the end...of the
whirled penises.
Buttman's
Butt Freaks 3; Evil Angel; Dir. John Stagliano; Stars:
 Zarah
Lee, Sara Bennet, Cristy Parks, Kate Frost, Laura Black...
Completing
our evening of ass-worship trilogy, we sample from the
master Stagliano. His current Ass de Resistance, Face
Dance Obsession, was unavailable at press time. Rex
will review that vanguard of sphincterdom next month...if
we all live that long. In the meantime, this freaky gluteus
maximus filth will do fine.
We
open with Stagliano in his editing room revisiting glorious
asses of days gone by for his broken-hearted friend. Poor
guy has a normie girlfriend who just doesn't understand
his porno-film-fuckin' ways. So, he needs some relief.
Lo and behold, some strange Euro-sluts in leather and
latex descend on Stag's parking lot. They ball-gag the
broken-hearted friend and bury his face in giant tan globes.
Talk about global warming. Her ass rests on a foundation
of tight black latex. Lift and separate...your mind. The
weird succubi give him a double ass smoother--that's two
cheeks for each of his facial cheeks rubbing in unison.
Glaciers start melting in Antarctica. Then the Zebra-coated
Dom deep-throats him. There's more face smothering in
the first scene alone than most of those lame-o, 60-minute
specialty smothering vids. The girls go double-dildo.
Then one slut takes an inflatable butt plug in her ass
that gets blown up, inside her, to the size of a rutabaga...except
it's black. This shit might be too sick for some of you
amateurs out there. Caution: Do not try this at home.
These are professional dildo drivers on a closed course.
Scene
two is even more surreal as the camera follows an ass
swaying through a dildo and butt plug warehouse. I shit
you not. Her ass would put a serious hurtin' on you. So
she smothers a brother's black shaved dome with the ass
at the end of the universe. Meanwhile, back at the ranch,
Stagliano gets a lap dance and a face dance from a tight,
tan blonde wearing white spandex hot pants. Reminds me
of the Olympic Gardens in Las Vegas, summer of '92--before
breathing the gathering gloom. Stag fucks her tanned calves,
eats her ass, fucks her feet and finally cums with her
great-white-hope-for-an-ass crushing his die-happy face.
This ass bonanza is so crammed full of deep, dark crevice,
you might have to spread it out over two nights. There's
just too many asses to cover here. Some things do get
better with age...like Stagliano videos.
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